Real Boys
by The 21st Century Pendragon
Summary: An alternative ending to the episode "One of the Boys". What if Lincoln never comes back to his own dimension and ends up stuck on the dimension with his ten brothers? How can he ever man up on this situation?
1. Lincoln's Brothers

**Now, here is an idea that is brewing in my head since the day it premiered. But before I lay the story, here are my thoughts about what is arguably the most awaited episode of** _ **The Loud House**_ **, One of the Boys. Solid theory on why it is the most awaited episode is because of its genderbent theme, which happens to most fandoms.**

 **As for my thoughts, I find the episode mostly watchable. It delivered what it supposed to deliver, a what-if scenario where the Loud sisters are brothers. Its brief synopsis already gave out its obvious moral of being contented and grateful of what you have. And that is a timeless lesson that is still relevant until now. I also have to commend the efforts of guest voice actors Seth Green, Sean Astin, Greg Cipes and Rob Paulsen (who all voiced the current** _ **Ninja Turtles**_ **) to voice the male counterparts of Lori, Leni, Luna and Luan, respectively. I like Luan's male counterpart the most, all thanks to Rob Paulsen's vocal performance.**

 **But for the viewers who are either disappointed or lukewarm with the episode, I easily understand why. I obviously have the same criticism, which is that the Loud brothers in that episode are basically cookie-cutter characters who have the fundamental personality of Lynn: being rowdy and brash. There is a lot of potential for them as characters but I do not think that a 10-minute segment can cover that. But even then,** _ **Adventure Time**_ **'s genderbent episode had more depth than this.**

 **However, I do not want to go more depth as a fan to look upon the nitpicks of an episode about gratefulness. I like it. I will continue to watch it in the future. And I give it a 7/10.**

 **Now, for those still frustrated to see more depth from the genderbent Loud sisters, here is a story to make up for it. Let's start at that part before Lincoln goes to the portal away from the first dimension.**

"Hey Stink-oln! I almost forgot something." Boy Lynn approaches Lincoln, pulls down his pants and walks away in a sneer.

Lincoln presses the watch. But before he can step in the portal hole, Leif and Lexx, who just finished piling on their dad, spot him but are more attracted on the presence of a portal.

"Oh, cool! What's that thing?" Leif asks, fascinated.

"Guys, don't go near here. I draw the line here," Lincoln tensely warns his twin brothers.

Loki, Loni, Luke, Lane, Boy Lynn, Lars and Levi enter the scene and are also fascinated by the portal.

"Oh, what's that Lincoln?" Loni asks.

"I think it's a space portal or something," Luke gives out his take.

"Scientifically impossible," Levi reacts.

"Come on guys! Let's check it out!" Loki charges his brothers to the portal.

In panic mode, Lincoln tries to stop his brothers from approaching the portal, pushing them like boxes. However, their combined body masses disable him from stopping them, causing the portal to shrink and zap to thin air. The Loud brothers notice this and fix themselves in response.

"Hey, where it go?" Lexx acknowledges the portal's disappearance.

Lincoln quickly gets up and hurriedly searches for its whereabouts, "What?! Oh no! No! No! No! Where's the portal?"

"Dude, what are you doing?" Luke wonders his aimless brother.

"Trying to get back home," Lincoln answers as he attempts to charge Lisa's watch transporter. But it does not activate. He tries his best to activate it, only for him to end up hopeless. "Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!"

"Uhh, dude, you know you are at the right home?" Loki says, "And not some orphanage filled with little girls like you?" This makes the boys holler more, much to Lincoln's intense embarrassment and hopelessness.

Lincoln frustratingly rushes to his room by the linen closet but as he enters, he hits by the shelf and realizes that his spot is in Lynn and Lars' room. The boys witness this and laugh at it.

"Why did you rush to the linen closet?" Loki asks with a snicker.

"I was going to rush to my...room?" Lincoln answers.

"Being a weirdo again? AHAHAHA!" Lynn mocks his brother for recalling a past mistake with a punch to the arm.

"Uhmm Levi, I think you need to examine Lincoln 'cause I think he might had a memory loss," Loki ridicules him more, making Levi pull out his brainwave helmet and put it on Lincoln's head. "With pleasure!" Levi remarks with a mad scientist sneer. And at a press of a button, Levi stimulates electricity on to Lincoln's head, making him get electrocuted.

"Hey Lincoln, don't worry about. Just don't 'mind' the pain. It just needs 'energy'! Hahaha. Get it?" Lane jokingly comments, making the Loud brothers laugh harder. Lincoln can only witness each of his brother's horrific imagery when laughing. He imagines them in different hues, making do their loudest manic laugh possible. It becomes clear that Lincoln has faced his fate with no chance of turning back, and that he deserves what he wishes.

That night, while all the boys are snuggling in their beds...and snoring, Lincoln passes his time, hunching at the rooftop near the chimney and heeding from losing the chance to get back to his true home. He ultimately experiences regret he never had experienced before. He tries to look at the moon with grace but he can only deplore.

"It's all my fault. If I wouldn't had wished I have brothers instead of sisters, none of this wouldn't happen," Lincoln laments. "I should haven't been grateful enough." Right after that, he pulls out a Polaroid photograph of him and his sisters on Lincoln's eleventh birthday. It was a great time wherein Lincoln's sisters try to pull off a surprise birthday party, but things went awry that Lincoln shows up early and helps them stop the mess. He ultimately assisted them on baking the cake, only it ended with a food fight, then eventually a boodle fight. Lincoln also used his new Polaroid camera, which was given by their parents, to capture a well-timed selfie.

Lincoln reminisces those times with joyful tears. He cannot hold those tears back that he wishes to express his love for them while hugging the photograph. "I am sorry guys that I wished for brothers, instead of perfect sisters like you. Never gonna replace. Love you Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa and Lily," Lincoln heartbreakingly confesses.

Luke overhears this, thanks to the thin walls, and calls out to his melodramatic brother, "Hey bro! Quit whining about your multiple girlfriends. Some people are trying to sleep here!"

Levi also joins in the discussion, saying, "Now if you biologically related _homo sapiens sapiens_ would not maintain a code of respectful reticence, I would commission a warning to the beloved matriarch."

"What does he mean?" Loni comments through the walls.

"It means you're a moron," Loki mocks his dumb brother.

"We'll you shut up! I am trying to sleep here!" Lexx demands in a spoiled manner.

"Agreed on what he said?" Levi comments back, finding same ground with Lexx.

Just by that, Lincoln hatches an idea to get back to his real home. But before rushing to the best person he can ask for help, he gets back to the Polaroid photograph to see it fading to black film. He hurriedly flips it to restore its color and sighs in relief over its restored color. "I promise guys. I will be back…in time for dinner," Lincoln vows, then kisses the photograph.

Getting down from the rooftop, Lincoln locks himself in the linen closet and sets up to rest there for the night since he cannot tolerate Lynn's snoring and Lars' sudden bursts. He sets himself to rest and eventually wakes at exactly 6:00 AM, Saturday, in a period where Lincoln's brothers are still asleep.

The 11-year-old gets up and prepares for the day, or sets up a boxing glove prank for Lynn as revenge for his rowdy behavior. However, he is spotted by Levi.

"Top of the morning, brethren," Levi addresses in a posh-like manner. "I witness that you are setting a hilarity-making contraption for our fellow brethren."

"Uhhh what?" Lincoln replies in confusion of Levi's pretentious word choices.

"I was going to ask what makes you want to set a prank for Lynn?" Levi continues, "Lane already set surreptitious bear traps around the house."

"And what makes you think tha…" Lincoln asks, but he is interrupted at the step on the floor that triggers a pile of garbage from a garbage can to fall on him.

Instinctively, Lane wakes up from this and laughs at Lincoln, "I know you 'can' try, but you 'can' not seem to expect for the garbage to actually fall on you, Stink-oln! Hahaha!" Then after mocking him, the jokester goes back to bed.

"That was clever trash talk," Levi replies with a rather evil snicker.

Out of frustration, Lincoln marches back to the linen closet for relief.

"Where do you think you're going?" Levi asks.

"Where else do you think I'm going?!" Lincoln angrily replies.

"That's again the linen closet."

"I know! I am packing my way home!"

"Lincoln, I suggest that you take electroconvulsive therapy to avoid lunacy in your nervous system.

"I am telling you! I am not crazy. I belong to another dimension where I have ten sisters, instead of ten brothers."

"Right…Like I would believe such a hyperbolically implausible theory…"

But before Levi can finish, Lincoln shows to him the Polaroid photograph with his sisters, causing Levi to get stunned with a "What?!" at this discovery of an uncanny resemblance. He snatches the photo and has it scanned to his photo matcher to validate if Lincoln's claim is true. The final results come out, and it shows that Lincoln's sisters indeed have resemblance to Lincoln's brothers. But Levi refuses to believe.

"No, this is preposterous," Levi gives his claims. "This may be one of your pranks. You think you can fool me that these aren't your girlfriends in goofy outfits?!"

"Well, you believe that portals are real," Lincoln delivers a blowing counter-argument.

"Touché," Levi replies, realizing the end of the argument. "Now even though I would believe that portal travelling exists, how come you arrived at this dimension?"

Lincoln then pulls out the watch that Lisa invented for him. "Using this," he shows.

Levi gets the watch from Lincoln and examines it further. "It has elaborate materials than normal. And I sense a time-space rift being executed from this contraption."

"Can you study it?" Lincoln asks.

"I can give observations of the intricate details of this watch," Levi replies.

"But can you fix it?"

"And why would I do that?"

"Because…" Lincoln tries to reason his genius brother, but the best thing he can do is cite the scientific recognition he can achieve with the dimension-jumping watch. "This might be a big breakthrough for you. Think about it. The first ever –year-old to ever invented a watch that can transport to possible dimensions? Seeing it?"

Levi considers Lincoln's defense and says, "You captured my essence at the 'big breakthrough'. Okay, I'll do it for a week."

"A week?! How come a week?"

"Lincoln, science does not have longevity from magic. It needs a long scientific process to achieve its purpose."

With no other choice, Lincoln certifies the deal, "Fine."

But Levi reroutes the negotiation, "Only in one condition. You need to control our brothers, including me."

And at that swindle on the agreement, Lincoln complains, "What?! Why would you want me to do that?!"

"I need concentration in this elaborate experiment," Levi justifies, "In addition, Lynn has been intentionally pestering with my chemicals, so I want him off limits as well."

"But how could I control my brothers?" Lincoln addresses his ultimate concern.

"Well, that's not my issue to handle right now. I think you are the proper sibling who can address this concern," Levi substantiates, making Lincoln sigh. "Why don't we conclude this agreement with an appropriate gesture?" he suggests, reaching out a hand, implying that he wants to finalize through the shaking of hands.

With no other choice to get back to his own dimension, Lincoln seals the deal with Levi, "Fine." But, as Lincoln is about to shake his hand to his younger brother, an electric current flow through his body that electrocuted him as signaled with a buzzing sound. He learns that Levi slid an electric buzzer on his hand.

"Hahaha! Got ya!" Levi ridicules Lincoln, obtains the watch from his brother and speeds to his room. Though he pranked his brother, Levi will still continue to fix Lincoln's dimension-jumping watch.

The clock strikes at 6:35 AM, a period still too early for Lincoln's heavy-sleeping brothers. He ponders how he can manage ten brothers. He knows that he is able to manage his ten sisters but finds it different with ten brothers. They are basically Lynns with his sisters' personalities. Nevertheless, Lincoln brainstorms where to start with this conundrum. While at it, he walks to the bathroom for a morning wash but he instantly discovers that their bathroom is a filth-filled horror house.

Lincoln sighs at this sight, "Ughhh…great. This bathroom." He then looks back at his brothers' rooms, thinking that he can dump the entire mess of the bathroom to their rooms. The 11-year-old thinks it is what they deserved since they have been rowdy, annoying and cruel brothers, who led him to his terrible fate. With that, Lincoln brings out a mop and a bucket. "Now I know where to start! Revenge…" Lincoln says in a character motivation. But as he is about to walk in to the bathroom, his picture with his sister drops from his pocket, and Lincoln quickly retrieves it.

Lincoln looks back at it, checking if it got stained or soaked. However, nothing altered it. This gives him a sigh of relief, yet offers him another reflection. He realizes that his sisters are also rowdy, annoying and cruel as well. What keeps him being dedicated, caring and loving to his sisters is that he loves them regardless. He thinks if he can apply this to his brothers, he might receive the same response. However, his abhorrence for them is heavier than this. But as he holds the cleaning tools by his hands, Lincoln has to settle on a final decision.

Eventually, the clock hits at 9:00 AM. And this is the time when the Loud brothers would get up bushed. Loni gets up first on his light teal pajamas. He walks to the bathroom and drags himself to the sink. Little does he know of a revelation that is awaiting him inside. In response, he screams, "AHHHH!"

"Loni, what's going on there?" Loki says, in response to Loni's screams that woke him up.

"What's the deal, bro?" Luke walks in the bathroom, only to have the same response.

Lane, Lynn, Lars, Lexx and Leif check the other guys out, making them have the same awestruck reaction.

"Would you impede the strident revulsion of your aghast faces because some people are trying to concentrate?" Levi demands, only for him to receive the similar reaction.

Loki enters the scene and asks, "Why you guys like that? You walk in the bathroom and you see it…" but he stops to marvel at the bathroom's squeaky clean spotlessness, "…clean?" The brothers try to discuss how come their totally messy bathroom got so clean in a jiffy.

Then, as the hubbub fills the halls, Lincoln, who is carrying a mop and a bucket on his hand, calls them with a whistle, "Now, if anyone of you wishes for the bathroom to be filthy again, feel free to let me know. But as for me, you're welcome! You can now bathe in peace.

At that statement, Lincoln's brothers are left astounded, making Loni react, "What he said?"


	2. Loki

Loki parks the van to the house like a drift racer. He just came from an after-school hangout with his gang. Now, he feels bushed that when he enters the house, he places his homework on the table and collapses himself to the couch. Lincoln witnesses this in dismay while reading a book about the history of the US presidential elections.

"Ahh! Good times!" Loki says and notices Lincoln, messing his hair. "Hey bruh! Looks like you're busy."

"Yeah, you might say that," Lincoln replies.

The eldest brother then yawns and gets up. "Well, give me some space in the couch. I'll call Levi."

Lincoln notices the pile of homework that Loki has. He notifies him, "Hey Loki! Your homework, you're not gonna do it?"

"No, of course I will bro. Just relax. I will just ask Levi to tutor me."

Loki proceeds to his Levi's room and hands over his homework to the Loud's homegrown genius. However, Lincoln overhears something different. He checks the commotion to see Loki and Levi playing with toy lightsabers.

"Who's your daddy now?" Loki says playfully.

"I am not your father!" Levi says in a phony Darth Vader impression.

The two continue to duel with the toy lightsabers, but Lincoln becomes concerned. "Hey, I thought you are tutoring."

"Nahh, Levi can do it later. He says it will be easy," Loki explains, "For now…" They continue playing lightsaber duel to each other

"Levi, I thought you're gonna…"

"No time, my condescending acquaintance. I am in the middle of a duel," Levi replies as he charges to Loki. Again, Lincoln is in dismay.

Later night, Lincoln sneaks to the living room to sleep at the couch, since he cannot sleep with Lynn and Lars. As he arrives at the couch, he sees Loki's homework still laid down. The 11-year-old opts to check them out and sees that they are not answered. While he gets a little infuriated that the supposed eldest of the brothers is as lazy as a pig, Lincoln takes advantage of this situation and answers the homework himself. Loki's homework ranges on algebra, history, literature and social studies. While at it, Lincoln is at crossroads if he should rightfully prank his annoying brother or do what was laid to him.

The next day, Loki learns from Levi that he failed to answer his homework.

"What?!" Loki reacts furiously but in slight panic to Levi.

"Apologies brother. My mind miscarried the reminder that I need to execute your school work," Levi justifies.

"Ugh. Well, I'll just literally cram this at school," Loki resolves to the obvious solution for today's millennials, "Thanks for nothing bro." Loki walks off, while Lincoln encounters the 4-year-old genius down the hall.

"So, how's the research going?" Lincoln asks about Levi's progress on figuring out how to fix Lisa's dimension-jumping watch.

"In progress. I tried to decipher the algorithm programmed for this mechanism," Levi answers, "It is truly intriguing that I made this out of its technology." By that, Levi pulls out a toy gun and shoots a laser beam to an approaching Leif, which makes him get blown with ash and debris.

"That's awesome Levi!" Leif lauds Levi's laser gun, making smoke come out of his mouth and raising a thumbs up. Obviously, Lincoln frowns at this.

"Please be serious about this," Lincoln asks Levi for such a favor.

"I had too much seriousness in my vacant time. I need to adjust in a balanced lifespan through leisure. Just alleviate, brethren," Levi explains in a rather relaxed tone, making Lincoln frown more.

Meanwhile, at school, Loki is at his social studies class, just raising his leg and lounging by his seat. He is aware that the social studies homework will be a class recitation. Thus, he plans to say whatever is in his mind, and just copy from his classmate at the last minute. The teacher walks in, starting the class. "Alright class, it's time for recitation," she announces, "Bring out your homework. And when I call your name, step in front and explain a writ of habeas corpus and how it is relevant in our present times."

Loki chuckles in his boasting, "Hah! Literally easy."

One classmate with shaved hair and a bonnet looks back at him. "Dude, you haven't done your homework this time, haven't you?"

"Haha! Dude, you know what they say, 'better late than never'," Loki jokingly implies as he brings out his homework and, at his surprise, sees it filled with the answer. "What?!" he reacts in disbelief.

"Dude, what's wrong?" his classmate asks.

"I…I…I…" Loki stutters in sheer disbelief. And in more sheer happenings, the teacher calls Loki, "Loud!"

The eldest Loud brother walks to the front, still stunned on how his homework was done when Levi indicated that he was not able to do his homework. But the most he gets stunned at is he never read what was written. So, he opts to just read. But as he gleams the page, Loki finds it to be thought-provoking, a rare thing for him.

Loki begins reading, "The constitutional rights of writ of habeas corpus can be summed up in one statement: that a citizen has the right to present himself on court to fight for justice."

After school, Loki confronts Levi at home.

"Levi, you told me that you haven't done my homework," Loki addresses this concern.

"And I told you what you need to know," Levi answers back.

"Oh, then would you care to explain how did this happened?" Loki snaps back by showing his social studies homework with a mark of A+.

"Heavenly deoxyribonucleic acid! How were you able to get an A+? I just give you B's," Levi reacts in surprise.

"More like BS to me."

"Well, at least, I let you pass in your subjects."

"Whatever. Now, can you explain how this happened? I need to know!"

Levi scans Loki's homework sheet, observing the legibility of its writing. He is like a forensics investigator on his investigation. The 4-year-old genius finally gives his presumptions.

"That explains it. This handwriting belongs not to yours truly, but to our fellow white-haired brethren."

"Lincoln?" Loki wonders.

Suddenly, his mother addresses presence. "Loki, glad you haven't left yet."

Loki then turns to his mom. "Oh hey mom! Yeah, nope, haven't left yet."

"That's great. Can you do me a favor and can you drop off Lincoln to the supermarket?" Mrs. Loud says, "He told me that he would want to do the groceries for tonight's dinner and some stuff he needs."

"Uhmm…sure," Loki accepts his mother's favor with a nervous grin.

"Oh, and there he is," Mrs. Loud says as she spots Lincoln going downstairs to them, "Done with the clothes?"

"Yeah mom, folded them all and placed them in the cabinets," Lincoln says with a beam for guarantee.

"You two take care, okay?"

"Bye mom. Will do!" Lincoln then looks at Loki, "So bro, ready to go?"

However, Loki looks at him with suspicion.

The two brothers set off for the road, with Loki going to meet with his girlfriend Bebe and Lincoln going for grocery shopping. This travel provides Loki an opportunity to interrogate his brother.

"So bro, how you doin'?" Loki asks friendlily.

"Nothin' bro. Just chilling since yesterday," Lincoln answers.

"Oh, chilling since yesterday? Just curious how your handwriting end up in my homework."

"Look, if you have the need to question me to say that I did all your homework, then yes, you're welcome."

"I'm not even asking help from a genius? B's or C's are fine, but an A+ in all my homework? Everyone thinks I am a genius!"

"Don't you want that?"

"Nope, never. I literally don't want that. But how were you able to do that? The A+ score."

"It's what you call studying hard, bro." Lincoln recalls last night when he spotted Loki's unanswered homework and opted to answer for him. Despite not being a genius, he was able to derive answers from the books that are just stacked in the shelf. He did this the entire night, without regard for his brother's rude attitude toward him.

But Loki finally realizes something of an assumption. "Oh, I get it, you're literally being a Goody Two-shoes," he accuses his brother.

"What?"

"You're just doing those things to please mom and dad, so you can get a gold star in your chest!"

"Well, you answered mom's favor of taking me to the groceries. That makes you a Goody Two-shoes too."

"I was just…being…a good…son."

"See? We're not that different. I just helped you big time."

"I…have…have nothing to say. I don't know what life is anymore," Loki, feeling speechless, perturbingly replies.

"Well, like I said, you're welcome," Lincoln charitably enunciates.

"You're different."

"I am just Lincoln."

At effect, Loki feels petrified with his whole focus on the road.

After a rather off conversation, Loki drops Lincoln at the supermarket.

"Well, see you later bro," Lincoln happily greets his brother goodbye.

"Yeah bro, see ya," Loki stutteringly replies and hurriedly leaves. He is still petrified on Lincoln's random act of kindness. The Loud brothers are known to be brash, rude, rowdy, noisy, boisterous and the whole nine yards. But Lincoln seems to be the only one exhibiting kindness out of all of them. The oldest Loud brother feels like giving his respect to the brother he calls "Stink-oln" but he rubs it off.

"What is up with Lincoln?" Loki asks himself, decelerating the van, "Should I…? No…Eeek. I feel different. I feel…treated well. I feel like loving him?" And that makes him realized with a dun…dun…dun sound effect.

Suddenly, a crossing guard knocks on his window. "Sir, can you move faster? You are causing a traffic."

Loki looks at the back to see angry motorists complaining because of Loki's sudden slow driving. Dumbfounded, he replies, "I do not know what I am driving right now: a car or me crazy?"


	3. Loni

**Here is another installment of "Real Boys". But it got me thinking, I had another storyline brewing about Lincoln encountering a family with ten sisters who are way better than Lincoln's. However, I have "Real Boys" on the go. So I need thoughts on this: should I continue "Real Boys" or that storyline or both? (Because I can do both.)**

 **For now, enjoy this piece, featuring Leni's male counterpart, Loni.**

* * *

Lincoln arrives home, carrying a bag of groceries with him. Upon his arrival, he sees his brothers horsing around the living room. Leif and Levi are roleplaying as Kylo Ren and Luke Skywalker, respectively, and are doing a play lightsaber battle. Luke is holding a boombox that plays "Jump Around" by House of Pain. Lane is chasing Loni, with Lexx chasing them behind using his toy jeep. Lynn and Lars are thumb-wrestling while running, smashing what hits their way. And Leon is enjoying watching the boys clowning around. Suddenly, a vase flies to the air, and Lincoln dodges it, reacting with a frown.

He heads to the kitchen, where he sees his mom preparing their dinner.

"Mom, here are the groceries, as requested," Lincoln calls his mom.

"Oh, there they are," Mrs. Loud says, "Thank you Lincoln for doing the groceries for me. I am so proud of you."

"It was nothing, mom," he replies. Lincoln pulls out the items that Levi listed to buy from the grocery bag.

Walking out of the kitchen, Lincoln sees his brothers still doing their shenanigans. "Levi!" he utters, to no response.

Lincoln thankfully spots Levi and drags him by the cape.

"Hey! Lincoln! I was going to obliterate the Dark Side with my Jedi mind trick," Levi complainingly reacts.

"Here are the stuff you requested," Lincoln says and drops the grocery bag to him.

Levi grabs the bag and inspects if all items are present. "Everything here?"

"Yes, everything from the checklist, I bought," Lincoln certifies. "I still don't understand why you include nougat bars, potato chips and one gallon of root beer in your list."

"For a genius to undergo production, you need to ensure his metabolism is well-adjusted enough," Levi elaborates. "Also, the root beer has a purpose for fixing the dimension-jumping watch."

Still, Lincoln frowns at this and proceeds to his room. "Just keep working."

But suddenly, Leif notices Lincoln and prompts the brothers, "Guys, pile on Lincoln!"

At that signal, Lincoln runs away from his brothers as they catch up to him, only to get toppled by Lynn. The rest of the brothers, with the exception of Loki (who is not present) and Leon, follow suit. As usual, a buried Lincoln tries to budge himself out of them.

"Guys, cut this off. Can't breathe!" Lincoln pleads, but his brothers ignore him.

"Bros, you know what to do!" Lynn exclaims, leading them to prepare to spring out gas.

However, their dad suddenly calls them, "Kids, need help with some stuff in the car!" In response, the brothers race competitively to Mr. Loud's car.

Lincoln tries to get up from the pile and opts not to go with his brothers. Instead, he heads to the kitchen to help his mom.

"Mom, need help there?" he asks.

"Not that much sweetie," Mrs. Rita Loud replies. "Why don't you help your brothers?"

"Because they're jam-packed on carrying dad's stuff," Lincoln asserts. "Please, mom!"

"Well okay. Just need help with mincing the garlic," she says.

"Good. Good." Lincoln then gets a chopping board, grabs the bowl of onions and minces them. He takes advantage of the time to converse with his mom.

"Uhmm mom, can I ask you something?" Lincoln asks.

"Sure, anything," his mom replies.

"Are you grateful that you have eleven sons?"

"Well, of course I am. I love you all. You're the eleven best things that happens to me and your dad."

"Don't you have a hard time, you know, with us?"

Mrs. Loud chuckles at this assumption, "Why would I? Yes, there are hard times. But I was able to overcome them because I always think about you."

But out of curiosity, she asks "Why are you asking this, Lincoln?"

"Well nothing," he hesitantly answers.

"Come on Lincoln. You can share to me anything."

As much as Lincoln wants to confess that he is from another dimension, he feels like this is too unbelievable for Mrs. Loud's ears. Instead, he sugarcoats the details to this:

"I am kind of fed up with my brothers' antics that I don't feel like bonding with them."

Out of motherly empathy, Mrs. Loud replies, "Sweetie, don't think it that way. No matter what, they're your brothers. You just have to accept them the way they are."

Lincoln then stresses, "But they keep pestering me! I'm sick of it."

"And what do you do when they pester you?"

"I snap back at them…and do the opposite by doing nice things for them because I should not stoop down to their level…because deep down, I still love them as my brothers," Lincoln says this in tears. It may be his emotions or just the mincing of onions.

As Lincoln answers his mom's inquiry with a thought-provoking explanation that was always reflected on his experiences with his sisters, he realizes that he answered his own question.

Mrs. Loud then elaborates with her intended answer, "That's right honey. I know it's hard to get over their…rowdiness, but you can make them change. Just keep doing it. Never tire on doing what is right. Sooner, they will realize what you have done. Trust me."

"Really think so?" Lincoln tearfully asks, to which his mom responds with a tap on his head and a hug.

"Glad you shared this to me, son," she replies. "Oooh done with the onions?"

Lincoln responds by giving his mother the minced onions.

"Alright, almost done with dinner," Mrs. Loud implies. "Can you set the table for me, honey?"

"Sure thing, mom!" Lincoln answers with a burst of optimism.

Abruptly, Loni instantly hears this and races to the kitchen to accept the task. "No, I'll do it!" he blurts. However, he accidentally hits the cupboard, which causes for a ceramic decorative bowl to lose balance,

"Loni, watch out!" Lincoln warns as the said bowl topples to Loni's location. Yet, in the nick of time, Lincoln retrieves the bowl by his own hands.

"Wow, bro. You saved me," Loni utters, "Are you like a superhero or something?"

"Nope, Loni," Lincoln denotes, "I just saved you from this falling bowl."

"Woah, that's mind blowing," he replies with a childlike awe. "Thanks bro!"

"Don't mention it." Lincoln then proceeds to setting up the table, but Loni decides to involve himself in setting up the table. "Mind if I help?" he asks.

"Oh, sure thing Loni," the 11-year-old middle child invites.

Thus, both Lincoln and Loni prepare the Loud's whole table. (No two tables in this dimension.) Upon this, Loni tries to think of ways to thank Lincoln, directing bias toward his personal knowledge. "So, Lincoln, just heard from the Internet, there are ways to make yourself look like that guy the girls are saying 'he's cute'. And it might start from your choice of color.''

"What are you saying?" Lincoln wonders.

"I am trying to help you in your laundry problem. Well, your shirt is like a heated mess. A sore eye. It's like you sore it under the sun. And then you mess it with the sun's heat. Then what becomes a mess is even messier. And people looking at your shirt will have their eyes burned."

"Are you judging the way I choose my shirts?"

"Well…yeah…no…maybe," Loni says and ends in a laugh, getting Lincoln fed up. But he tries to fix his words, "But what I'm trying to do is to…make your…choice of…clothes better."

"Yeah, that helps," Lincoln says this in dismay.

"I am serious, bro," Loni insists, finishing setting up the table and dragging Lincoln to his room, "Come on, let me show you. Mom, we'll be upstairs for a while."

Loni lays some of his unused outfits from his cabinet to the bed. He tries to pick the best selection in his eyes. "Hmm…I think this looks nice," Loni says as he throws Lincoln a button-up jeans shirt and brown pants. Fascinated with his brothers' attempt to change his getup, Lincoln follows suit with testing Loni's outfit.

"So what you think?" Loni asks. At that, Lincoln responds, "Kinda too mature."

"Hmmm…" Loni then hands Lincoln a navy blue long-sleeved shirt with a gray cardigan and skinny jeans to wear. "This one?" Loni asks, to which Lincoln replies, "Too college-smart."

The men's fashion expert then hands his brother a sleeveless shirt and khaki shorts. "This?" Loni asks, making Lincoln answer, "Too vacation mode."

Lincoln decides to call off changing clothes. "Okay Loni. I get why you want to help me but I am satisfied with my style."

But Loni rebuffs, "But bro, it's important for boys like us to improve on our fashion statement. And boy, I just said deep words. Plus, I can't help it! Need. To. Improve. Your. Style."

With no other option, Lincoln sighs but spots a potential new outfit. "What about this?" he asks, holding a plaid orange shirt and khaki pants. "Hmmmm…let the book judge it…or me," Loni says.

Lincoln tries the clothes he selected, drawing a familiar but a unique look. Loni then evaluates, "Not bad, since I wore that during a party. And I dump it with the rest of the season's newest trends. I guess it is fine."

"Really?" Lincoln asks happily, realizing his brother's approval. With that, he hugs him in response.

Just like Loki, Loni is unresponsive on Lincoln's gesture. "Uhmmm okay," he says speechlessly.

After that, their mom calls them from the kitchen, "Loni, Lincoln, can you get Leon? Dinner's ready!"

"We better go," Lincoln says, making him both proceed to the living room. Loni proceeds from behind, still pondering on what does Lincoln's hug meant.

As both enter the living room, they see Leon chewing a toy figurine to his mouth, making the two freak out.

"Leon!" Lincoln warns but the 15-month-old toddler keeps on giggling.

"Good, ain't this," Loni reacts.


	4. Leon

**For a recap, Loni is able to give Lincoln an improvement of wardrobe, and now the two encounter their next problem: preventing Leon from chewing his toy.**

* * *

"Okay Leon, now if you just be a good boy…" Lincoln attempts to persuade his baby brother.

But Loni finds this a problem. "Uhmm Lincoln, I don't think it's a good idea you're doing."

"Relax Loni, it will just take a little care and voila. It's okay Leon, you are a fine boy," the 11-year-old assures as he caresses Leon's head and takes the boy out of his hand.

However, Leon whines loudly about this and bangs his baby table, demanding it back. Lincoln is horrified to see his baby brother in a rather freaky spoiled mood. So, he prompts to drop the toy back to Leon. Leon picks it up and puts it back into his mouth, pacified.

"How will we get his toy?" Lincoln panics at this matter.

"I think we better tell mom," Loni suggests, marching to the dining room to do so. But Lincoln stops him.

"We can't tell mom. If we do, then we're responsible for this, and who knows what she'll do to us," Lincoln implies.

"I know. She'll be responsible for this and she'll give us dinner," Loni stresses with a smile, making Lincoln slap his face. He marches to Leon to attempt again to take away Leon's toy.

"Loni, we better take away Leon's toy, or he'll chew it off," Lincoln elaborates the case as he nears Leon, reaching a finger to the figurine. "Now Leon, if you just be a good angel…"

Suddenly, Leon grabs Lincoln by the finger and throws him back and forth like Bamm-Bamm from The Flintstones. After that unexpected cartoon moment, Lincoln heeds from the pain and walks back to Loni.

"You didn't tell me Leon has super-strength," Lincoln says.

"Well, I didn't know he can throw you off like that," Loni replies.

"Okay, since you have more experience with Leon, why don't you take away the toy," Lincoln argues, pushing Loni to their baby brother.

Loni gulps as how he can attempt to prevent the toddler from chewing his toy. He decides to do it anyway he can. "Nice Leon, if you just look at me. It's me, your oldest-er brother," Loni tries to console Leon, holding the toy in the process, "Now if you just don't mind if I take this away…"

But Leon instinctively feels the toy slipping away from his hand, making him wail again. Loni dodges but gets hold back of the toy. Loni and Leon fight over the toy, with Loni having the upper hand and Leon still wailing. However, the Loud's baby brother bites his older brother's hand, making Loni scream "Ahhh!"

Loni retreats from Leon and heads back to Lincoln. The two try to think of ways to stop their brother from chewing his toy. They look back at him happy chewing his toy.

"How can we stop him?" Loni wonders.

"There's only one thing we can do – feed him," Lincoln says with determination.

Lincoln and Loni sneak to the dining room to retrieve Leon's supposed meal. They tiptoe in a stealth manner and spot a can of baby food by the food shelf in the kitchen. Luckily, nobody is yet in the dining room at this time. However, that all goes south when Leif bursts in from the back door, being chased by Boy Lynn.

This prompts for Lincoln and Loni to hide at the side of the table without being detected. "What we're gonna do now?" Loni asks with ducking his head. Then for an airhead like Loni, he devises an idea.

Just a Lynn reaches the part of the kitchen where their mom sets the meals, Lincoln shouts, "Guys, let's pile on Lynn!"

And at Loni's signal, the boys (the others consisting of Luke, Lane, Lars, Leif, Lexx and Lars) pile on top of Lynn. Mrs. Loud notices and tries to stop them, "Boys, stop dog-piling here in the dining room. Go pile somewhere else!" Though they pile along on top of their athletic brother, Lincoln and Loni are able to sneak out, claiming the baby food and two baby spoons. As for the rest of the boys, they are being reprimanded by their mom for nearly spilling the soup.

As they go back to the living room, Leon is still chewing the toy figure but not yet in total harm.

"Well, at least it is little of a problem," Lincoln states his relief. He then gets one spoon and dips it to the can to catch an amount of baby food to be fed to Leon. "Here you go, Leon," Lincoln says as he nears the spoon to his baby brother, "Here comes the plane." Suddenly, Leon grabs the spoon, throws it a Lincoln's face and begins to cry. "Ouch," Lincoln reacts from his pain.

"Ooohh I got this," Loni says, finding opportunity to feed Leon when crying. However, the baby brother bangs the table in a spoiled manner, making Loni kind of frightened. He then slowly draws the spoon close, but Leon sneezes. The snot is thrown at Loni as Leon is pacified again with chewing the toy.

"There's no other choice, bro. We have to work together!" Lincoln convinces his brother.

"What?!" Loni is shocked at Lincoln's suggestion, "There's no way that I would…" But before Loni can finish his statement, both he and Lincoln hear a crack coming from Leon's biting. They discover that Leon is about to crack the toy's head, drawing concern such a Leon's baby teeth breaking off. "Okay! Let's work together," a convinced Loni persuades.

First attempt that the duo do is Lincoln rocking Leon to sleep while Loni swipes the toy from Leon's hand. However, thanks to Leon's ninja moves, Leon punches Loni's faces and bangs Lincoln's face in the process. First attempt: fail.

Second attempt is Lincoln and Loni feed Leon with two spoons of baby food. But Leon is able to smack the spoons off, splattering the baby food to their faces. Second attempt: fail.

Third attempt is Lincoln doing silly song-and-dance moves in front of Leon. The toddler is amused. While Lincoln does that, Loni sneaks behind Leon. But Leon instinctively detects this and throws Loni towards Lincoln. Third attempt: fail.

Fourth attempt is Loni making fun faces to Leon, to which he laughs. Lincoln is able to get hold of the toy but Leon instantly grabs Lincoln's wrist, stopping him. Fourth attempt: fail.

Fifth attempt is Lincoln snuggling Leon on his body. Lincoln is having fun tickling his baby brother that he cannot stop giggling. Loni takes advantage by swiping the toy but Leon unnoticeably punches him multiple times, due to the tickling. Lincoln ends up being discreetly kicked to the face. Fifth attempt: fail.

And finally, sixth attempt is Lincoln caressing Leon on his care as an establishment of trust. Though Leon still has the toy on his mouth, he slowly slides it away as Lincoln sings a lullaby to him. Loni gradually nears the spoon to Leon's mouth and finally feeds his baby brother. He almost lose hold of the toy, but Lincoln continues to sing sweetly, giving way for Loni to swipe the toy and feed his brother continually. Sixth attempt: success.

Loni feeds him one more time to assure that he is calmed. But thankfully, Leon giggles in delight. With that, Lincoln and Loni celebrates, "Yes! We did it!"

"I can't believe we calm down Leon, together!" Lincoln joyfully stresses.

Realizing what they did, Loni replies, "I guess we did it." They both high five to each other.

Unexpectedly, Loki arrives in time for dinner and sees the two at joy with each other. "What's going on here, you two?" he asks.

The two notice their oldest brother arrived in the house and hide the situation that had been.

"Loki, you're here!" Lincoln utters and gets the toy figurine, showing it to Loki, "We just found the missing piece to Loni's school diorama of a science lab."

"A toy soldier literally in a science lab?" Loki wonders, making Lincoln and Loni twitch in nervousness.

"Yes…" Lincoln fretfully answers.

"Uh-huh…" Loni adds in the same way.

"Whatever," Loki plainly replies, "Anyway Lincoln, I need to talk to you later. For now, need dinner." Afterwards, he heads to the dining room.

"What does he mean 'needs to talk to me later'?" Lincoln asks.

"Who cares Lincoln? We did it," Loni implies, "We really make a great team." This prompts for the two to do another high-five to each other. However, the head of the toy soldier breaks off.

"Well, didn't expect that decapitation," Lincoln notes that tidbit, making the two laugh. Loni carries Leon with him as they go to the dining room.

But they, along with Loki, are stunned on what they encounter: the brothers behaving while eating dinner.

"Dear Luke, can you please pass the mashed potatoes to me?" Lynn politely asks.

"Yes sure, dear Lynn, here is the mashed potatoes," Luke says civilly, though with a sneer.

"Dear Lexx, you have sauce by your lip," Leif utters.

Lexx then gets a table napkin and wipes the sauce off. "Why thank you dear Leif for that," Lexx angelically replies.

"Dear mother, this mushroom soup is exquisite," Lars compliments in a sully tone.

"Why thank you Lars," Mrs. Loud expresses her gratitude, much of the boy's dismay, "Isn't this wonderful, that all of you are behaved? Even if it's for once." She then notices Loki, Loni, Lincoln and Leon. "Ohh boys, you're here. Glad you'd be here early, Loki. Come on, sit down and eat."

Lincoln sits next to Levi. He asks his genius brother about the situation, "Levi, what's going on here?"

"Mother forced us to behave after we horsed around earlier near the kitchen," Levi straightly answers, causing Lincoln to smile in delight.

"Well, at least that's progress," Lincoln says to the readers, lending a spoon filled with soup to his mouth in relief.

"Boy, this salad sure won't lettuce have fun. Hahaha," Lane unforcedly tells a joke. "Lane!" Mrs. Loud warns at her son, making him reply in surrender, "Yes mom."


	5. Leif

After a well-behaved dinner, Lincoln washes the dishes and prepares for bed. But as he arrives there, he witnesses his brothers rough-playing in the halls again. Luke is playing grunge music. Lynn and Leif are wrestling. Lars is vandalizing the walls. Lane, Lars and Levi are playing with paintball guns. This is some way for the rough Loud boys to make up from losing themselves on dinner. Meanwhile, the other Loud boys, Loki, Loni and Leon, are at their rooms.

Lincoln tries to sneak off to the linen closet but he is soon recognized.

"Hey fellas, I guess we have a snitch in our midst," Luke takes a notice on Lincoln.

"Where do you think you're going Lincoln?" Lexx asks as they glare at him grinningly.

But Lincoln tries to dodge the topic. "Uhhmm nowhere. Why'd you guys stop?"

"Hah! Thinking you can get away for causing us trouble?" Lynn interrogates, "'Pile on Lynn!' he said, and has mom catch us in the act! And you can scoot off like that?!"

"Well, if it weren't your behavior, you wouldn't end up this way," Lincoln defends.

"Is that so?!" Lynn berates, "Guys, I think we know what to do with troublemaker Lincoln."

"Ready as we are," Lars replies, as the boys pull out a ball and prepare to target their white-haired brother.

"Guys, what are you doing?!" Lincoln asks in hesitation for what will happen.

Then at Leif's holler, "DODGEBALL!", the boys throw their balls at Lincoln. However, the balls go ricocheting across the halls, which causes for the boys to throw balls at each other (or most specifically to Lincoln).

Lane catches Lincoln crawling away from the scene and pounces him with a ball, "You think you can dodge this brawl? Hehehe. Get it?" But he gets pounced by a ball.

Lincoln drags Levi and catches his attention, "Levi, what are you trying to do?"

"Patience, dear brother," the genius Loud brother replies, "My opinions are not on the standpoint that mother's action is in correlation to your personal exploits. I just like to take leisure time on playing dodgeball." After that, Levi hits his brother with a ball.

Lincoln retreats to the nearest door, which happens to lead to Loki and Loni's room. Levi takes notice and calls the attention of his brother, "Brethren, he's right there!"

"Ahhhhh!" Lincoln panics as his other brothers hit him with dodgeballs. And at nick of time, Loki drags Lincoln into their room, rescuing him from the dodgeballs that are about to hit him. The hits of the balls to the door sound like gunshots to the room's occupants.

"Loki?" Lincoln utters from Loki's rescue.

"Don't mention it bro," Loki replies as he gets back to the bed and texts on his phone.

Meanwhile, Loni lays all his and Loki's clothes down in search of a perfect sharp-dressed apparel for Loki to wear. "Loki, will this maroon-checkered polo do? Or this teal plaid button-up polo?"

"As long as it is formal bro," the oldest Loud brother verifies.

"The best formal I can give you is a suit and tie," Loni says as he retrieves a clean-slated suit and tie.

"Nahh, too fancy. We'll search in the mall tomorrow."

"Uhmmm what's will all this?" Lincoln asks.

"Glad you ask bro," Loki answers, "Now, I wanna ask something. Should I give you my trust?"

"What you talking about?" the 11-year-old probes.

"Nah-ah. Let me put it this way. You did something grateful for me at school. Now, I literally don't know if it's just to piss me off or to help me in my grades. So I need to see if you really mean everything. To trust you," the 16-year-old explains.

"Loki, I said 'you're welcome'. I just want to help you."

"Good. Now tomorrow, Loni and I will be heading to the mall. Now, I need you to take Leif and Lexx to the toy store for me. Okay?"

"What?! Why would I wanna do that?!"

"Hey! Hey! Bro, trust," Loki gives emphasis to 'trust', "If you want me to believe your goody two-shoes shtick is not an act, I should trust in you. And this is one way how."

"But Loki, why this?! I can't control the twins!" Lincoln raises his concern.

"Well, take it from the one who single-handedly cleaned up the bathroom. If you can handle that, you can handle Leif and Lexx."

"Ughh…fine. Whatever."

"Good. Okay, now you may leave."

"Uhmm that's all?"

"Yep. What more do you need?"

"How can I get out? The others are still hunting me."

"Well take the alternative route then."

"Alterna…tive rou…wha?"

Then Loni points above, "He meant the vents, brah."

Lincoln opens the vent's lid and enters the congested air system. Loni gives him a boost as Lincoln climbs his way up.

"Thanks Loni!" Lincoln expresses gratitude.

"Don't mind it bro," Loni replies, "Now I have to get into the action!" He then steps out of the room and joins with the boys on playing dodgeball.

Lincoln makes his way to his room but falls from the vent as he arrives there. While he overhears his brothers playing, the 11-year-old thinks of joining in. Surely enough, as Lynn busts to the room, Lincoln shoots him with baseball-throwing machine. He then proceeds to maniacally shoot his other brothers, laughing evilly in the process.

However, instead of being pissed off, Lynn is impressed at Lincoln. "Woah Linc! Now you are talking my language," Lynn utters in praise as he gets another baseball-throwing machine and does the same thing. The rest of the brothers cannot help but play along, dodging the baseballs being thrown.

Suddenly, they hear their mom call to them, "Boys, you better sleep now! Or I'll seriously implement a curfew."

With that, the Loud boys moan "Awww…" and retreat to their rooms.

"That was fun bro," Lynn replies.

"Yep, sure is," Lincoln agrees.

"Well, forget what we said. Just messing with ya. But we could really use a punching bag," he adds as the 13-year-old athlete punches his shoulder and laughs on it.

In return, Lincoln shoots the machine at him. "Now we're even. Hahaha!" he grins as both Lynn and Lincoln laugh together.

Lynn then yawns. "Well better hit the hay. You too bro," he says as he walks back to the bedroom. But he goes back to Lincoln, who is still standing in front of their room. "Almost forgot something." Predictably, Lynn pulls down Lincoln's pants, which annoyed Lincoln, and goes back.

Abruptly, twins Leif and Lexx throw themselves to Lincoln, with Leif gaining control of Lincoln as if the latter is a robot. Lincoln tries to maintain a balance, with Leif on his shoulders, taking hold of his arms.

"I now gain controlled of Mecha Lincoln!" Leif bellows.

"Not if I can help it, Leif Vader!" Lexx replies in role-playing fashion as he prepares his lightsaber.

"Wait, what are you…?" Just as Lincoln is about to ask, Leif uses his arms to fend off Lexx. While Lincoln tries to maintain balance, Leif flings arm to let Lexx drop his lightsaber. Lexx is irate at this, causing him off to bites Lincoln's leg and fights it."

"AWWWW!" Lincoln screams in pain as Lexx bites his leg.

"Off my Mecha, Lexx!" Leif insists.

"Never gonna back down!" Lexx playfully utters.

Predictably, Lincoln loses balance and falls on himself, with Lexx and Leif still playfully fighting on top of him. After heeding from falling, the older brother gains control of the twins as he grabs Leif by hand and stops Lexx by the head.

"Gotcha!" Lincoln utters.

"Awww Lincoln, I was going to defeat him," Leif pleads.

"Well not anymore. Go to bed or I'll tell mom you'll never see another day in the toy store," Lincoln persuades, making the twins march to their room in dismay.

"What bummer, Lincoln!" Lexx complains.

As they enter their room, Lincoln sighs in relief and shares to the readers. "Well, might as well take the extremes to gain control your brothers. I need to gain their trust, or else, I will be stuck forever. But over with that. I need to constantly treat them better for this cause." Finishing his monologue poetically, Lincoln gets hit by Leon's flying diaper, signifying him to keep his voice down, which frowns Lincoln.

The next day, after school, Lincoln marches to the loading zone to wait for his brother Loki to ride him and the twins to the toy store. Unexpectedly, a voice calls him, "Lincoln, wait!" It is Lincoln's wingman, Clyde McBride, who approaches to him hurriedly. Seeing his best friend makes Lincoln jump for joy.

"Clyde, is that really you?" Lincoln asks.

"Uhh yes buddy," Clyde verifies, making Lincoln hug him.

"I thought I would be alone in this universe!"

"What you talking about Lincoln? You're never alone."

"Uhmm just happy to see you."

"Where were you? I thought we supposed to hang out after school."

"I have to take Leif and Lexx to the toy store today. Sorry about that."

"Uhhh…maybe later will do."

Just as Clyde says that, Loki, who's with Loni, stops the van at the loading zone, signifying for Clyde to flee. "Speaking of which, maybe tomorrow will do. Catch you when I call you," Clyde hurriedly implies as runs away.

Loki gets out of the car. "So Lincoln, ready for torture?" Loki sarcastically asks.

"Ughh! It's on alright!" Lincoln brags. But Loki's attention suddenly shifts to Clyde fleeing away.

"Hey, is that Clyde?" Loki implies, making Clyde stop in here. The older Loud approaches him.

"Hey! Loki! Nice to see you but I have to run," Clyde fretfully states. But Loki holds him back.

"Woah, hold it. I just wanna ask how's your tutorials with Bebe? Because I see you two…"

Clyde can only gulp from this, causing Loki to warn him, "Now, if you throw any pickup lines to my girl, I will literally turn you into a human pretzel. Got it?!" Because of that, he nods out of fear.

"Good. Good talk. Now go!" Loki says as Clyde walks away with a hesitant smile. Unbeknownst to Lincoln, Clyde in this dimension is in rivalry with Loki for his affections to Bebe. So whenever Loki sees Clyde flirting with Bebe, he threatens him.

Lincoln asks to the readers, "Now what did I just missed?"

Just as he asks that, Lexx, who has gotten out of class, throws his bag to Lincoln's face. "Heads up!" He laughs at this as he gets in Vanzilla, "Hahaha! Loser brother!"

Hiding his contempt, Lincoln loads Lexx's bag to the back and gets in the van as well. "Hey, where's Leif?" he asks Lexx.

"Dunno," Lexx apathetically answers.

"Lincoln, why don't you bring him here?" Loki insists with a sneer.

"Why would I…?" Lincoln complains, but Loki raises an eyebrow, making him remember the deal.

Out of his reluctance, Lincoln gets out of the van and reenters the school.

"Good luck with you bro!" Loni bids unthinkingly.

The 11-year-old marches to Leif's homeroom. As he enters, he sees the classroom empty. Lincoln then discovers a distinct detail from the room; he spots Leif mud wrestling. But when he is about to exit, Lincoln gets dangled by a hook that nearly opens his pants and drags him to a wall. Just as he hits it, a box falls on to his pants. It turns out to be a box of frogs. Now, he has frogs stuck in his pants.

"Hey, that's not Leif!" a kid who emerges from hiding warns.

But one kid recognizes Lincoln. "Hey, better, it's Leif's brother!" Just with that, a group of kids emerge from hiding in the classroom and laugh at Lincoln. Lincoln tries to run away but trips from a puddle of water.

Meanwhile, Leif claims victory from mud wrestling. At the nick of time, Lincoln approaches his younger brother, with the kids laughing behind him. "Leif!" Lincoln calls him.

"Ohh, Lincoln, what's up?" Leif says as he gets out of the mud puddle. Without any words, Lincoln just turns his back to show frogs that were shoved to his pants, making Leif panic.

"Woah!" Leif reacts, "Don't worry fellas. Coming to the rescue!"

Leif and Lincoln retreat to somewhere hidden in the school yard. The former pulls out the frogs out of his older brother's butt. "Never thought my class would get this far," Leif comments, "Kinda awesome."

"Can you stop being amazed by it?" Lincoln insists furiously.

"Okay. Okay. Sorry. Never thought you walk in to a trap like that," the 6-year-old thinks, "Glad they weren't squished."

"Just finish with this, and we can go," Lincoln persuades as Leif pulls out the last frog.

"Why would they ever set up a prank like that for me?" Leif asks himself, "I mean sure, I place frogs in their pants. But it's for fun." Then he gets bummed. "I guess they hate me," he ends, making Lincoln concerned as they walk off.


	6. Lexx

Loki drops off Lincoln, Lexx and Leif at the Royal Woods branch of Toys 4 Kids. The twin boys hurry inside in excitement, while Lincoln drags himself to the store.

Before leaving with Loni who is waving at him cluelessly, Loki gives $100 to Lincoln and leaves this message to him, "Remember bro, trust. See ya in pieces!"

Loki's warning gets embedded on Lincoln, making him remark this to the readers, "That sure is a brother there. But here I go."

Lincoln enters the store to see it as massive and elaborate, just like how department stores are designed.

"Wow! So…big…" he reacts

But despite the fancy design of the toy store, Lincoln has to prioritize the first-hand protocol he learned from "Cereal Offender": never interfere with the management. With that, he goes on search for Lexx and Leif.

"Lexx! Leif!" Lincoln calls out for them, to no response. He searches on every aisle, starting on the first level. Along the way, the 11-year-old overhears that some kids are talking about a new toy that will be released on its early-bird price.

"I can't wait to have my hands on that Ace Savvy action figure," one kid with braces and glasses discusses it to his friends. And hearing Ace Savvy makes Lincoln stop.

"Wait, did you say Ace Savvy?" Lincoln asks.

"Uh-huh," another kid spiked ginger hair confirms, "By 5 o'clock, they're gonna release the brand new edition of Ace Savvy. With his cool new uniform. And his arsenal."

Lincoln drools at this news. "Alright, thanks kids!" he says as Lincoln speeds up to find the twins. And with that, he takes full control of the situation with sheer motivation. "Now I just need to find Leif and Lexx. Buy their toys. And get to the line on time. Ace Savvy here I go!"

Lincoln searches the whole 1st floor, to no avail. As he gets to the 2nd floor, Lincoln sees a kid crying. He checks him out, asking in sympathy, "Hey kid, what happened?"

"I crushed this toy car," the kid, who is in a pink shirt and a pink hat, sobs, "I haven't even bought it. But there's this kid with a crown who saw me crush it. And I have to drive him on his ATV."

Recognizing who the kid is talking about, Lincoln asks more, "Where this kid went?"

"I can't tell you. Or else he'll tell the white people about what I did."

"He won't tell anyone. He won't even know about this."

The kid with the pink shirt then points to the CCTV cameras around the store.

"Yeah, so?" Lincoln affirms.

"He's everywhere," the kid reiterates.

"Just tell me and I'll surely handle this."

"If you insist…" The kid then points to the military-themed toy section. With determination, Lincoln heads there, not before saying back to the kid, "Thanks to you kid. And don't worry, I'll try to pay you back."

As Lincoln arrives in that section, he observes it to be laden with US military-themed toys, from guns to figurines. There also a mannequins that take up US military costumes from each century and their artillery counterparts. But most notably, he finds an ATV decorated with camouflage colors that was presumably used, since the engines are still on.

Suddenly, the guns fire automatically, making Lincoln duck to the floor. After a minute of crossfire, which truly frightens Lincoln, it all ceased. And it is revealed that those bullets turn out to be pellets.

Lincoln gets up and sighs in relief, "Phew, I thought I end up in a real-life battlefield."

"That's what you think," a voice utters, relieving it to be from Lexx, who is clothed in black and camouflage smear on his face and holding two toy machine guns at both hands.

"Lexx, what do you think you are doing?" Lincoln asks interrogatively.

"What? I am just having fun," Lexx replies.

"Well, your fun is over. You have to stop this now!"

"If you say so." With that, Lex throws his pellet guns to Lincoln.

Bewildered, Lincoln replies, "That's it? Ha! Knew you would surrender." However, the pellets from the ammo rain down to where Lincoln is standing, that it makes him lose his balance and trip over them. His body slides to the next section: the Medieval Ages section. He evacuates to its nearby aisle and obtains a plastic armor to prepare to capture Lexx, who has obtained a much bigger set of machine guns. The 11-year-old then takes a toy sword and throws the shield to Lexx, making the latter drop one gun on his right.

"Touché, but you are going down loser!" Lexx bellows as he throws a toy grenade to Lincoln's direction.

Lincoln sees the silliness of this scheme and laughingly utters to Lexx, "Hah! You think toy grenades can evade me?!" Lexx then throws another grenade to Lincoln, successfully hitting his face, and runs off.

"I don't think so!" Lincoln says as he catches up with his brother. He tries to chase ahead of him, to no avail. "Come back, Lexx!"

Lincoln eventually gets tired from running. He leans by the grills and checks from the floor view that there is a queue forming for the release of the brand new Ace Savvy action figures. This prompts Lincoln to get pressured on finding for his brothers and to secure a spot in the line.

He searches in the entire 2nd floor, to no avail as well. Eventually, he spots another kid, a Hispanic, crying on the spot, with one kid comforting him. The crying kid is holding a deflated leisure ball on his hand.

"Hey what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Lincoln reaches out his sympathies.

"I accidentally poke this ball. I haven't even bought it.," the kid tells him while crying.

Then his friend speaks for him, "Well, Manny here was trying out the ball but he accidentally hit on this other kid with the blond hair and the crown. And it hit the pillar so hard that it became flat. He told us that he will tell the while people who can see us from above and take us away, but only we give him our money."

"Tell me, where's this blond kid?" Lincoln asks with determination.

"I can't tell you. He knows where we are," the kid references a nearby CCTV camera.

"It's just a security cam. It is for your security."

"I know but he said that the white people watch us from there. And they can take me away forever."

"Just don't worry about it. I'll handle that kid. Just tell me where he is."

He then is directed to the sports section, where he witness Lexx assembling an army of kids, at the same age as Lexx, armed with handheld baseball-throwing machines and dressed like they are in a post-apocalyptic movie. (Think The Warriors or Mad Max.) "Lincoln, glad you can join our company," Lexx, emerging from the shadows, utters.

"Lexx, what's all this?" Lincoln asks frighteningly.

"Ohh, it's just my circle of friends," Lexx verifies.

"More like your goons." At his response, one kid growls at Lincoln, frightening him. "Okay, what's going on here?"

"Ohh, you don't know. At some times after school, I return to my kingdom here in Toys 4 Kids to have fun and enjoy my days of reign," Lexx explains.

"No wonder the crown," Lincoln implies to him and the readers.

"Now that I cornered you, might as well bow to me?"

"Why would I ever do that?"

"Oh you will. Or I can tell mom or Loki of how irresponsible you are to your brothers."

"What?! Why would you threaten me like that?"

"Oh, don't be a numbskull, Lincoln. I am always a good angel to mom and dad."

While he never knows who really Lexx is in this dimension, Lincoln can only relate him from his female counterpart, Lola. While Lola may be crabby, manipulative and spoiled, she is at least good-hearted and compassionate to her siblings. He can see a more radical version of Lola in the vein of Lexx, as does with his other brothers from their female counterparts.

And there, at that realization does he find out that Lexx has been witnessing kids (and his brothers) committing accidents, and used them to do his bidding, like an unforgiving version of Lola in "A Tattler's Tale". In a special case in the toy store, Lincoln theorizes that Lexx might have threatened kids to do his bidding, or the "white people" will take away from the store forever. But Lincoln has to know Lexx's true motives, especially to kids of his age.

With that, he plays along with his schemes, "Well, if that's so, then I plan not to bow to you."

"Oh really?" Lexx threatens by holding his phone on high, ready to dial their mom.

"I want to bow to the white people," Lincoln spouts, making the children shocked.

"Wait, don't say that!" one kid tries to stop Lincoln.

"It's forbidden," another kid enforces, "Only King Lexx can talk to the white people and tell them we are sorry."

"Oh, you think a kid like Lexx can actually tell security guards that you caused trouble?" Lincoln asks.

"Yes!" the kids utter in unison.

"Lincoln, what are you doing?" Lexx asks.

"That should be my question to you. What are you doing to these kids? Threatening them with your stories?!" Lincoln interrogates his brother, making him go in the verge of venting and tears, "You told them they are in trouble? Well, guess what? You placed them in more trouble. What does it matter that you rule over them?"

"Stop it Lincoln!" Lexx insists.

"Hey! He's right," one kid points out. "Why should we be afraid of him?"

"Yeah!" the rest of the kids cry out, making them drop their arsenal and leave as nothing ever happened to them.

"Well, that was simple," Lincoln reacts to the readers.

Lexx tries to stop them, to no avail. "Wait guys! My friends!"

"We are not your friends. You just force us to become one," one kid with a squeaky pitch complains.

With all his friends (or servants) having left him, Lexx gets dismayed but to Lincoln, he is infuriated. "Happy know brother?! You drove away what's keeping me company. And now you ruined it!"

Realizing what he has done also leads for Lexx being isolated, Lincoln tries to comfort his brother. "Lexx, I'm sorry for what happened. I didn't know…"

"Don't you see? The toy store is the greatest place I know when school had become bad. I get to do whatever I want here! I get to have friends here! And now it's all gone!" Lexx expresses his sentiments, "Thanks to you Stink-oln!"

His brother's outburst makes Lincoln kind of annoyed but he suddenly shifts his focus to a volleyball that is obviously deflated but is priced at $80. "Wait, this kind of volleyball for $80? And it's nearly out of air," Lincoln remarks, getting Lexx curious at him.

"What you talking about?" Lexx asks.

"Give me that gun," Lincoln requests his brother to give him the toy pellet gun, which turns out to be easily broken. "Where'd you get this?"

Lexx then leads him to toy gun aisle of the military section where Lincoln discovers that the containers for the guns are kind of fragile. And one container even contain bite marks.

"Wait, these items look like second-handed," Lincoln construes.

"Who cares Lincoln?" Lexx vents.

"I care…for you," Lincoln replies sincerely. "But how would these end up on the store?"

"I don't know Lincoln. I just come here and see some items either ruined but can be used. And other items that are out of their boxes," Lexx comments.

"Come!" Lincoln then drags Lexx and sneak stealthily to the surplus area where they discover that Lincoln's deductions are true: that the toy products are actually second-hand items that were delivered from a third-party surplus. If this is much complication, it is pretty much like Flip in "Intern for the Worse".

"Can't believe that the whole toy store is one big…" Lexx comments.

"Fraud. Toys 4 Kids is a fraud," Lincoln interrupts to finish Lexx's statement.

"Well, that bums my day, though I like the stuff that are opened," Lexx adds.

"Now we're talking. I guess Ace Savvy is a second-hand as well."

"Nope, that one is real."

Suddenly, a staff worker spots them and attempts to run away.

"Let's get him," Lincoln alerts, cutting chase to the worker. As Lincoln tries to catch up with him, Lexx pulls out his pellet gun and shoots it on the worker's leg, making him slip from the pellets and landing on the floor. The two are able to catch up with him, and Lexx points at him pellet gunpoint.

"Please don't kill me. Please. I have a whole business to run. I'll do anything to improve it. Just please don't expose the truth. I'll do anything," the staff worker pleads, whose words are something out of a manager.

"Wait, you're the manager?" Lincoln asks.

"Yes…" the staff worker replies nervously.

"So you promise to make this place cool again?" Lexx interrogates.

"Yes, yes! Just please don't tell the authorities. I got this place in hard times. But don't worry, I got the money to improve it. Just please don't tell! I'll do anything," he pleads, giving Lincoln and Lexx an idea.

Eventually, Lincoln and Lexx walk out with an Ace Savvy action figure and the board game Risk at hand, respectively.

"Man, I can't believe this game is still in neat condition. And free!" Lexx exclaims.

"Well, if it weren't for you, we wouldn't have these," Lincoln adds, "And finally, I got an Ace Savvy action figure! For free!" He then tests it out, but accidentally pulls out its arm. "And it's ruined."

"We could exchange that arm with a doll's arm instead," Lexx suggests, prompting the two to laugh.

"Well, at least we got this for free. Should we tell the others about this? Or to even your friends?"

"Nahh, they'll know eventually. And they're not even my friends. I don't know even if I have one." This concerns Lincoln as this is the same stance that Leif hinted to him, "But I at least have you, Leif and our army of brothers."

"Speaking of which, we left Leif!"

"Don't worry. I know where he is."

Lexx then leads Lincoln to a nearby pet store, where they see from a window display that Leif is sleeping on a burrow of hedgehogs.

"Nahh, he's okay. This is his hiding place if Loki has to bring us in the toy store. Kids find him a weirdo. But you know what? He's fine. At least he gets to sleep here than at home," Lexx explains.

At that moment, Lincoln realizes there is a lot of work to be done in this world than just going back to his own dimension. With that, he carries Leif at his back as he and Lexx wait for Loki and Loni to arrive.

Ultimately, the two on Vanzilla arrive after shopping.

Loki is expecting Lincoln in bruises. Thus he asks, "So, how's the trip bro…uhh?"

"Hey Loki! Are we ready to set? 'Cause me and the twins are ready to go," Lincoln utters.

"Hahaha! Told ya Lincoln would handle them! Hahaha!" Loni brags to Loki, making the eldest one beat him up. It turns out that Loki waged to Loni that Lincoln cannot control the twins in any possible manner. After seeing Lincoln having properly handled his twin brothers, Loni wins the bet.

"Should we wait for them?" Lincoln asks to Lexx.

"Yep. Pretty much," Lexx replies.


	7. Lincoln's Sharing about His Sisters

Lincoln can savor the moment that he had finally proven himself trustworthy to Loki. But he will still see where their relationship goes, as well as with his other brothers.

Once they get home, the boys, except for Lincoln, get down from the van, dress in military gear and prepare their paintball guns before they enter the house.

"Uhmm guys, why are you dressed like that?" Lincoln raises his curiosity.

"Don't you know bro?" Lexx replies.

"It's war night!" Leni affirms, "And we're dressed like shoulders!"

"Loni, we're not shoulders," Loki clarifies, "We are ninjas."

"In soldier uniform?" Lincoln wonders. "I don't know about you." As Lincoln enters the house, Lane slingshots a bag of flour to his face, blinding him.

"Hahaha. Time to unleash the Axis powder. Hahaha. Get it?" Lane jokes, as the boys charge to the house and the battle begins.

Lincoln gets up, kind of deafened (in the same way that Tom Hanks was in _Saving Private Ryan_ ). He gets a glance of how the Loud boys spend their nights: in a literal battlefield where they all horse around and acting like they are in real war territory. It's Loki, Loni, Leif and Lexx in one side against Luke, Lane, Lynn and Lars in the other (the Axis forces). Leif is wrestling Luke. Loni and Lane end up in a shooting spree. Loki and Lars are sparring with their guns. And Lexx is pinching Lynn's face.

As Lincoln crawls away from them, someone is calling him by name, "Lincoln…Lincoln…Lincoln." The 11-year-old gains full consciousness and learns that Levi, also in full military uniform, is calling him, "Need a hand?" Lincoln then grabs Levi's hand, as he drags him away to his room.

"You going down Nut-sies!" Loki bellows.

"Pail hit him!" Lynn shouts, beating his brother with a toy pail.

"Is this how our brothers have fun?" Lincoln asks.

"Literal battlefield, my dear Lincoln," Levi answers. "I never immerse myself in the intrusion since they had been always vandalizing my bunker whenever I join in their group."

"Right…why are you calling me anyway?" he inquires more, "Oh, and how's the research?"

"That's the concern I want to share to you," the 4-year-old genius says, "I tried to trace your dimension of origin through interstellar findings and multiverse studies, to absolutely no avail. I tried using Einstein's theory of relativity to map out such a dimension or creating a portal. But since the technology is too unprecedented for my brain capacity and limited technology in this household, I cannot redo the portal that sent you here."

"What?! I thought you are the Nobel Peace Prize-winning whiz in this family?"

"Nobel Peace Prize? You wish. Those hermits decided to recognize a 'theoretical' stand on zero-temperature phase of matter, instead of my laser glove technology. I even tried all Ivy League universities. But they all shun me because they think I am a 'mad genius'. Yeah right, like Edwin Hubble used binoculars to spot the Milky Way."

"Ugh…is there something else you can do? You're my only hope!"

"Well, there is one method I can use. I need to extract data from you."

"What do you mean? You're gonna suck my brain, or steal my memories?"

"Don't be ridiculous, brethren. This is not some Hollywood make-believe science fiction thingamajig. I need to do a Freudian psychoanalysis of you. I need to map your mind, in order to map your dimension."

"Well, what we're waiting for?"

"Let's proceed to the room."

Levi leads Lincoln to a lift to the attic, where Levi has his psychoanalysis room, complete with a Freudian chair. The room is a typical setup for a psychologist's room.

"How'd you set up a room like this?" Lincoln asks.

"I hired a third-party service contractor to execute the interior design," Levi explains, making Lincoln raise his eyebrow. "What? I still have not developed the muscular capacity to haul the equipment in place. Now take a seat."

As Lincoln takes a seat on the Freudian chair, Levi thoroughly explains the procedure, "Okay dear brethren, here's how it goes. I already mapped your mental patterns and scanned your I.Q. based on sanctioned observations and research. The irrecoverable data required in this project is to map the other dimension. Now, answer the following inquiries. And I need specifics and no vague input."

"Uhmmm…okay," Lincoln replies unsurely.

"Alright, let's begin. Elaborate about the Loud house from your dimension," Levi asks.

"The Loud house? Well, it's pretty much like this house. Messy, noisy, disorganized at times. Me and my sisters tend to go bonkers whenever we have a situation. Like competition. Or who gets to go to the bathroom first. Or who is the best at something…"

"Lincoln, please avoid vague info. I need specifics. Tell me about the interiors."

"Okay…uhmmm. It's pretty much the same. There's the bathroom, the kitchen, the dining room, the living room, the bedrooms. My room is pretty much the linen closet converted to a room."

"Good. Lifestyle?"

"Well, everyday is pretty much the same thing: how to manage my ten sisters. 'Cause everyday is chaos in the Loud house. But with advanced planning, and a trial-and-error basis, I was able to manage them."

"Going pretty well. Now, tell me about your sisters. And I need physical details."

"My sisters? Well, starting from Lori, she's the oldest among us. She's with blond hair, blue eye shadow and earrings. She's the bossy one. Always at her phone talking to Bobby. Pretty much mean, neglectful and angry. But she has a soft heart for us. She said she felt useless whenever we do not rely on her."

"And there is Leni. She's much the fashionista. Lighter blond hair, with earrings and shades on her hair. I like Leni. Though she can be a little scatterbrained, clueless and, not dumb, but silly. Just silly. But she is kind, faithful and very nice. She is fun to be with."

"There is also Luna. She is the musician among us. Short brown-haired, with clip earrings, purple eye shadow, and talks with a British accent, like her idol Mick Swagger. She is exactly loud, bombastic and kinda careless whenever we have first concerts. But she is fun to jam, have fun and hang out with."

"And then we have Luan. Pretty much she's the comedic/pranking genius. Brown-haired pony-tailed, with braces and a knack for puns. She is kinda annoying, hasty and over-the-top. Well, what can I say? She's an entertainer. But she is high-spirited, optimistic and really funny."

"And oooh, then there's Lynn, the hard-to-stand. She's the athlete of the Loud house. Brown-haired pony-tailed, with freckles and an athletic stature. She is the ultimate bully. Rowdy, nasty and even menacing. Well, what can I expect from a sparring partner. But there are times when she is caring, loyal and brave."

"Then we move to Lucy. Oh, what's it for Lucy? She's fun to be with, for a goth girl who loves poems and scary stuff. Black hair, covering her eyes, and pale-skinned. But she's kind of gloomy, lonesome and really creepy when she pops out of nowhere. Though she's really good-hearted, lovable and sweet."

"There is also the twins. But Lana first. She's really tomboyish among my sisters. Blond-haired with both sides tied. And no front tooth. She likes mud, pets and anything dirty. That's why she tends to be reckless, unruly and too playful. But she's thoughtful, fun-loving and adorable."

"Lola is a different one. She has the same looks as Lana, front tooth and all. Only her hair is straight. She's the beauty queen among us. But she tends to be bratty, spiteful and gossipy. Being the tattle-tale, it's no surprise. But she is really soft-hearted, friendly and maybe too passionate on her dreams."

"And we go to your counterpart, Lisa. Messy brown hair and with glasses and a lisp. The child prodigy, Nobel Peace Prize laureate for Chemistry and certified Harvard professor. But she is really unfeeling, unreachable and too distant for our own brain capacity. But she tends to be frank, practical and helpful."

"Finally, we go to sweet Lily. Oh, Lily. Still 15-months and growing. Tips on her hair. There's nothing much to say about Lily since she's still a baby, aside that she's too happy-go-lucky, messy and unruly. But she's as gentle as an angel, peaceful as a bird and cute as she can be. I can't wait for her to grow."

"And I hope I do see her grow," Lincoln then shifts to sharing his sentiments, "And all of my sisters too. I just want to see them all again and tell how much I cannot live without them. But I guess that's not happening. I just missed them." Eventually, the 11-year-old begins to cry. "Is that all?"

However, when Lincoln shifts his focus back to Levi, he sees him sleeping. "Just great…" he comments in dismay.

Levi wakes up from his brief nap and snaps back to proper posture. "Well, here are my findings so far. Intricate data and mush, mush, mush, mush, mush, mush, mush, mush, mush and mush. It is definite that you are inhabited in a household of feminine kin."

Lincoln is kind of exasperated at Levi's observations from his sentimental accounts. But he leaves it dying.

"Well, just a need DNA sample from you," Levi says as he pricks one strand of hair with tweezers, "And then our work is done."

"Wait, that's it?" Lincoln asks.

"For now. I have to configure the schematic framework of your dimension of belonging, based on your personal findings. That is why we have the psychoanalytic test," Levi elaborates.

"Uhmmm okay…?"

"Now, off you go." Levi then places a helmet with an Axis power insignia (where Luke and company belongs to) on Lincoln's head and gives him a paintball machine gun. The 4-year-old is now at his own military gear, but on the Allied side of Loki and company.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"I need you to get back out there. If you yearn to return to your respective time-space confines, you need to adapt to this dimension and gain our brethren's trust. See you in the battlefield, soldier."

Levi then pulls a lever that is supposed to send Lincoln from the attic to the living room, where the brothers are having their friendly fire. However, the self-proclaimed genius instead pulls the lever that sends him to the living room. Thus, he screams as he falls down below.

With that stunning feat, Lincoln looks to the readers in uncertainty and eventually falls to the passage, sending him to the living room but landing on top of Levi.

The brothers stop to witness their landing.

"Woah bro, you one of us?" Luke asks enthusiastically.

"Oh sweet! Lincoln's one of us!" Lynn hollers.

"Victory is at the palm of our hands," Lars sullenly adds.

"Wait, he crashed down our comrade!" Loki observes ally Levi being landed by Lincoln.

"Yey! Victory's now at our palms!" Loni exclaims.

"No, you idiot. He landed on Levi, our ally!" Loki clarifies for his airheaded brother.

"Ohh…" Loni reacts.

"That does it. Revenge will be in our midst!" Leif yells, followed by Lexx.

"All of you will be gun! Hehehe. Get it?" Lane jokingly utters, as the boys yell and resume to war.

Lincoln ducks down and shares his thoughts to the readers, "Well, better adapt than never. Can't believe I'm in a literal battlefield. But I need to battle, FOR MY SISTERS!"

Then there goes the boys' entire night of paintball brawl, a la battlefield.


	8. Luke

Things have gone smoother for Lincoln as he bonds more with his brothers. It is a delight for him that his sleep inside his room with Boy Lynn and Lars is accommodating than usual. However, that night, Boy Lynn pranks Lincoln by inserting a string of liquorice with saliva to his nose.

Lincoln wakes up from the ticklish pricks from Lynn's candy, but gets annoyed by it. "Hey! Lynn!" he complains, but Lynn inserts the liquorice back at his mouth and laughs at it. "You placed that to my nose…"

Upon hearing that, Lynn realizes that fact but brushes it off and continues eating the candy, disgusting Lincoln.

"Why are you even still awake anyway?" Lincoln asks, "It's 1:00 AM."

"Nahh, feel like staying up late from the music that Luke is jamming," Lynn carelessly replies.

"His language captured my soul," Lars shares in addition, "The angst just makes me whole."

Lincoln just ignores their statements and goes back to sleep. However, he now gets disturbed by Luke's jamming. Though the Loud brothers call this normal, Lincoln refuses to abide this normalcy. By that, he marches to Luke's room where he sees the door opened. He sneaks in to see Luke strumming his electric guitar to "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple, with Lane giving extensive support.

"Smoke on the water, fire in the sky," Luke sings, "Smoke on the water!"

As Luke plays the signature guitar riff of that song, he does it with showmanship style. "Man, Luke, you're at the heat of the moment! Hehehe. Get it?"

However, Lincoln frowns at this and unplugs Luke's amplifier.

Luke sees this and complains, "Bro, what's the deal? I'm at the climax!"

"But I'm at the struggle to close my eyes and sleep," Lincoln defends.

"Well, better struggle bro. I need to practice for my auditions to be part of the band for the winter dance," Luke explains.

"Winter dance?" Lincoln wonders.

"Totally right, bro. The dance this year is gonna need a live band, instead of a lame DJ. So, might as well take a shot to glory and fame and rock and roll!"

"Ohhh…well, what are you gonna perform anyway?"

"Something that can be danced to. It is either this." Luke then starts playing "One Dance" by Drake. "Or this." He then plays "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel.

"I think I prefer the last one."

"Really?"

"Well, from what you said, that's a song I can dance to."

"Hmmmm, well, if that's the case, how about this?" Luke then plays "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar, to which Lincoln slowly sways his head on to. The latter brother then moves to the music, as if he was performing it.

"Fine moves, bro," Luke compliments. Afterwards, the 15-year-old rocker retrieves his keyboard synthesizer and sets it to the desired settings. "Okay, now bro. I want you to feel the beat, and let it move."

Lincoln agrees to go along. And with that assurance, Luke starts playing the first four chords of "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. After singing the first verse, he jumps to singing "Forever Young" by Alphaville, then to "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5. Luke then turns his jam to a medley of pop songs with four chord progressions. As much as he wants to dance, Lincoln can only admire how skillful Luke is as a musician. Luke then stops at the middle of the session, sweating profusely.

"Ahhhhhhuhhhh…what do you think?" Luke asks.

"It was fantastic. I really can feel the beat," Lincoln answers.

"Wait, you didn't really dance to the beat? Huh?" Luke queries his younger brother.

"Well, I enjoyed the jam and felt real good," Lincoln adds.

"Agghh, no bro. I need jams that I can lead people to dance. Think about that Marty kid who was able to pull off a guitar riff for a prom in the 50's."

"Well, I don't know how you can pull off a rock song and a dance song. I don't think they mix."

With that statement, Luke thinks of introducing his brother to rock-and-roll in an eagerly manner, so, as to expand his taste for music. "Hmmm I think I know what you need."

Luke has Lincoln sit down on a classroom desk chair and teaches him Rock-and-Roll 101. "Okay bro, welcome to 'insert obvious Jack Black reference here'. And I'll teach how to love rock!"

He then drags Lincoln a little bit forward and pulls down a presentation projection sheet to present his case. "Now, let me tell you what rock needs to be," Luke shares with conviction, "It needs to unique. Needs to be natural, not auto-tune hack. Needs to come from the soul. And importantly, just like what my idol Mick Swagger said, it needs to be fun!"

"Well, yeah, I get it. But how would that improve my appreciation for rock and roll? I mean I really like Smooch, and that's about it," Lincoln asks.

"Hmm, good question dude," the rocker brother responds, then introduces his brother to his room full of vinyl records, which collapse on Lincoln. Luke then relays, "Now bro, Smooch is not the only thing rock-and-roll. For you to appreciate listening to rock, I need you to open yourself to anything 'rock'. Now, I need you to do a little favor for me, and stack all of these records for me."

Lincoln gets up from the pile of records and speaks to Luke, "What? You want me to stack all of these?"

"Hep, hep, hep. It's an assignment. Listen to each of them using that record player there and pick the ones that you can dance to. Then separate them from the others."

Luke sees his brother's worrying face, making him assure, "Don't worry bro. It's just 200 of them. Now do it, if you want me to keep it down. I'll be rehearsing at the attic. See ya, dude!" He then heads to the attic with his amp and electric guitar, not before nudging Lincoln's face.

"How will I supposed to stack these?" Lincoln asks but he does not get a response from Luke. Despite his brother's ignorance and his demeanor to his attitude, Lincoln forcibly turns himself to stacking Luke's vinyl records. He tunes in the record player and gets each record playing for the entire night. His first attempt is kind of a miss, since it is the first time that he used an old-timey music player. But thanks to an Internet search, then a withered manual, he is able to play records on it.

Luke's vinyl collection ranges from 50's rock to 00's contemporary music. Lincoln finds it questionable why his brother has a diverse number of records, even though he has a robust lineup of rock-and-roll songs to tune from his phone and iPod. He guesses that his dad might have handed over his records to Luke, or Luke is just a rock-and-roll purist; but Lincoln agrees to both theories.

The first records are kind of bland. But Lincoln gets hooked on a record of "Hungry Like a Wolf" by Duran Duran. With that, he struts his secret moves to its infectious tune. He does strut to other records like "Beat it" by Michael Jackson, "Maniac" by Michael Sembello, "Rosanna" by Toto and "The Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and the News. But the song where he goes all out into dance is "Footloose" by Kenny Loggins. The way he dances is eerily like how Ren McCormack dances, especially the punchdancing part in the barn. All of those are just out of Lincoln's ease to dance.

After a jolting number, Lincoln takes deep breaths to catch up and soon discovers that Lane was filming him the entire time.

"Hehehe. That was sure was some dance moves you have Lincoln. Hope you didn't lose your footing from it. Hehe. Get it?" Lane jokes to Lincoln, making the latter rather annoyed. "Wait, Lincoln, no seriously, this is a nice disco-very from you. Hehehe."

Lincoln then brings a stack of records that he thinks are suitable rock-dance songs for Luke to take inspiration from, and takes it to him in the attic. As he gets there, the 11-year-old discovers his brother sleeping with his guitar still at his stand. "I wanna…lay down…on a bed of posies…" Luke utters while sleeping. Realizing his brothers got exhausted from practice, Lincoln does the unimaginable…for his rocker brother.

The next morning, Luke gets up from his bed. Even though he should mind about his wakeup call, Luke takes more notice of how he got to his bed for the night. It is so bewildering for him. He then finds Lane still below, browsing his joke book with his headlights.

"Uhmm dude, did you…how…how did I get here?" Luke wonders in disbelief.

"Take a guess from the desk," Lane says with a snicker, "That almost rhymed!"

Luke gets down from his bed and sees Lincoln's stack of records for him – the ones which he deemed are worth auditioning for. Upon that discovery, Luke also looks at the room for his records, to see it properly organized, along with other unrelated stuff.

He then returns to the stack and notices one particular record which Lincoln left a note for. He said, "Luke, got the stacking all done for you. You're welcome. Oh, and here's a good song that I think would do for you audition. Keep rocking bro, Lincoln". Luke pulls out the record and plays it, revealing it to be "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen. As he listens to the music, Luke brings out his instruments (i.e. drums, guitar and synthesizer) to play alongside with the song. At the same time, Lincoln is listening to the same song and jams along with it, complete with using two pencils as drumsticks. Unknowingly, he spurts out his vocal talents. Obviously, he was a product of Luna's knack for music. And seeing that she is one of the closest sisters to Lincoln, the Loud brother might have also inhibited her singing skills.

Luckily, thanks to the open door to Lincoln's room, Luke is able to witness this feat. "Wow, that's sweet bro," he reacts almost speechlessly.

"Oh, uhmmmm…" Lincoln utters nervously, "It was nothing. Just jamming in my room."

Out of nowhere, Luke asks, "Have you been in the roller rink, bro?"

Then with that question out of the way, Luke takes Lincoln to the town's family-friendly roller rink.

"So why you take my here?" Lincoln asks.

"Bro, there's something I want to show you. Get a glance into the future," Luke refers to the EDM disc jockey in a yellow paid shirt and worn-out pants, playing the venue's background music.

"Uhmmm that's just a DJ. What are you trying to say?" Lincoln inquires of.

"Just look at him," Luke says, "Do you think he is happy?"

"Well, the music he is doing is kinda okay."

"Okay, huh? Let me give you a back story. That guy, he was a former Battle of the Bands champ in Royal Woods. Had to abandon his band after he struck a deal with a major recording label. Then, he became much of a corporate sellout that he quitted that his label. Now, he's struggling as a town DJ."

"Well, that's not bad, is it? Why are you telling me this anyway?"

"Because, dude, I see future in you. Your taste in music is so unique and timeless that it needs to morph into a beautiful butterfly. We just need the perfect moment."

Then suddenly, someone greets them, "Hey guys! Hey Linc!" It is Lincoln's secret date Ronnie Anne Santiago who approaches them.

"Ronnie Anne?!" Lincoln utters in shock, "What are you doing here?"

"Have you forgotten Linc?" Ronnie Anne asks, "I like skating. That includes roller skating."

Luke hoots at this liaison, but Lincoln ignores this.

"So, what's up?" Lincoln asks.

"Your brother is a musician right?" Ronnie Anne inquires of him.

"Right?"

"Well, the DJ onstage is about to end his contract 10 seconds from now. We need jams to cover the dead air later."

"Oh, bro! This is our moment!" Luke gets exhilarated, "Let's perform!"

"What?!" Lincoln utters in shock of Luke's suggestion to perform, "Luke, I can barely even sing."

"Bro, remember what Mick Swagger said?"

"Rock-and-roll is about having fun…?"

"Exactly. So bro, let's have fun!"

"Alright!"

This is a big starter for Lincoln. Though he never sings, he did show that he could in "11 Louds a Leapin'", even though it was a choral number. But here he is, proceeding to the stage with Luke to perform.

"Listened to the records?" Luke asks.

"Yeah?" Lincoln answers with uncertainty.

"Just listen to the beat," the rocker brother assures, as he opens with a drumbeat and starts strumming "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" by The Arrows, which was later popularized by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. Lincoln is familiar with the rock song, as this is one of the few records that he played repeatedly. And with his slightly amateur voice and help from audience participation with the stomping (even some with their roller skates) and clapping, he begins to sing rather passively. That is until when he hits the chorus, " _I love rock and roll, so put another dime in the jukebox, baby, I love rock and roll, so come and take your time and dance with me_ ", does he start to have fun, including impromptu stage choreography like a real rock star.

Despite a little setback, the audience appreciates their rock performance, including Ronnie Anne, and applauds them for bringing the fun mood back. Lincoln feels joyous on this hit; Luke then gives a wink to him as a sign of appreciation. The rocker brother then has Lincoln bow before their audience, culminating a fun rock-and-roll performance.


	9. Lars

Lincoln never thought he could jam onstage. But he just did, with his rocker brother Luke. As the crowd keeps roaring for him, he is at cloud nine on this outstanding feat.

After that jam, Lincoln and Luke celebrate with ice cream."That was awesome!" Lincoln exclaims enthusiastically, "Never thought I would rock like that in my life!"

"Told ya bro you can do it," Luke responds, "Just remember the gist of rock-and-roll."And with that, they both exclaim in unison, "It's about having fun!" And they exchange high fives.

Suddenly, Ronnie Anne shows up to them. "Hey Lincoln!" she greets.

"Oh, hey Ronnie Anne!" Lincoln greets back."That was awesome what you did back there. Never expected that my boyfriend would have rocker skills," Ronnie Anne shares her thoughts.

"Yeah, I know right. You don't know the half of it," Lincoln adds.

"Well, here's for you." After saying that, Ronnie Anne unpredictably kisses Lincoln by the lips and scoots off. "Good job, lame-o. You too, Luke!"

Luke can only laugh at this hysterical moment. So, he teases Lincoln about it, "What you think of that, lover boy? I guess I'm gonna have to call you 'The Love Machine'."

Still, Ronnie Anne's kiss makes Lincoln petrified that he faints in response."Lincoln?" Luke calls out his brother.

After their surprise gig, Lincoln and Luke walk home in the delight. However, as they step in, the duo see their brother Lars, sulking by the couch.

"Lars, what's wrong?" Lincoln asks in concern.

"The despair of human connection is when the desire gets no direction," Lars poetically replies.

"He's always like that, bro," Luke remarks.

"Luke, can you play the ode to a grievant Lars?" Lars requests.

"Uhmm sure bro," Luke responds, knowing his request is actually a codename for Luke to strum the song "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day.

Lars then recites the song, "I walk a lonely road, the only one I ever known. Don't know where it goes, but it's only me, and I walk alone.""Okay Lars, can you tell us what's going on with you?" Lincoln asks insistently.

"Why? Would there be sense to listening to my grievances?" Lars points out morosely.

Hopeless, Lincoln leaves Luke to tend to care for Lars, goes upstairs and consults Levi about his brother."Levi, Levi…" Lincoln knocks on his door, waiting for an answer.

"You need to say the password," Levi answers from behind the door.

"You never told me there would a password to your word," Lincoln justifies. Just before he can raise his complaints further, Levi slips the password, written in a strip of paper, to his brother.

Annoyed, Lincoln states the password, "Nu Behl Zadjuk." Levi then opens his door for Lincoln to enter. "Where did the password came from?" he asks.

"I need to thwart personal interaction because of such hazardous discovery," Levi replies. "In addition, it is an intentional wordplay.

"Levi then tours Lincoln to his bedroom, which the latter discovers it to be upgraded and refurbished from top to bottom. "Right on time my dear brethren. You just arrived at the genesis of the exploration of multiverses," the 4-year-old child prodigy presents, then presses a button that recreates the portal that can send him back.

"Holy moly! You did it Levi!" Lincoln expresses his excitement on his brother paving him way to get back to his own dimension.

"Hold it brother. There's one problem: it's hazardous," Levi states.

"What are you talking about 'hazardous'?" Lincoln asks.

Levi then demonstrates its hazards by inserting a golf club through the portal. When Levi pulls it out, Lincoln learns that the other half that was inserted in the portal disintegrated. "See what I mean?" Levi affirms. "Now I can build a makeshift generator that can help you be immune to the disintegration. But I need a few more days to build it."

"A few more days?" Lincoln gets bewildered by Levi's proposal.

"Hey! Science is not prepared immediately like instant noodles," Levi explains, "Those unhealthy preservative-filled concoctions. Yet, they taste so good."

"Just work on it," Lincoln says, "By the way, what's up with Lars?"

"What do you mean 'what's up with Lars'?" Levi asks.

"What I meant is what's going on with him? He's been moping or desponding a lot lately. I don't know what's going on with him, but I feel bad for him," Lincoln explains to his brother. "Come on Levi. You get to observe us. What's going on with Lars?"Levi then gives him a record book about his findings on Lars. "See for yourself," he insists.

With that, Lincoln browses through the book. He discovers it to be filled with Lars' basic biological data. But what is striking are the findings based on his poems. (Levi is able to take a hold of them through their photocopies.) There, the 11-year-old discovers of an emotional pattern that Lars was going through. His first poems were mildly personal but pleasant to hear. But when it comes to his present poems, they are kind of destructive. Though it is because of his goth nature, Lincoln assumes there is something going on with Lars. Afterwards, he decides to take hold of Lars' information seriously. If he is loyal to his moody sister Lucy, he too can be loyal to Lars.

The next day, at school, Lars is placing his stuff at the locker and brings his notebook and a book (an anthology of Edgar Allan Poe's works) with him. Before he closes his locker, the 8-year-old spots a girl with a white skin complexion, straight short brunette hair and rose lips by the distance. He sulks at this moment. But soon, Lars gets concerned by three boys from his class.

"Hey loser!" one boy with a pale blond hair and a green shirt, "What's wrong? Feel the need to read your lovey-dovey poems?"

"Hey! He asked you a question!" the boy's crony with a spiked hair and leather jacket berates back. Another crony, the archetypal dumb one, just laughs at him.

"None of your business," Lars blankly replies.

"So, you're telling me to shut up?" the main boy replies back threateningly.

"Hey boys, let me take care of this," one boy with a Danny Zuko getup, but meaner, says as he approaches Lars. "Hey there Lars, think you forgot what you have done yesterday?"

"What's done is done," Lars replies in an attempt to back them away.

"What's wrong? Feeling like you need to mope more?" the Danny Zuko kid, who is named John, sneers at him, as he corners Lars. "This shouldn't have happened if you don't sweet talk to my girl."

Lars tries to escape but John makes him trip over, making him drop his pencils and Edgar Allan Poe book. The main boy slides the book with his foot. And the dumb crony takes away Lars' bag from his locker, looking for his lunch. The spiked hair crony then pushes Lars back to the locker, so John can corner him. He then takes his pencil and points it to the poor 8-year-old emo.

"Now, if you present any poem, or if I hear you write any poem, I will show what I can do to you with this pencil," John threatens, making Lars tensed.

"Hey!" a sudden voice warns them, which comes from Lincoln himself. "Let my brother go!"

John sees this phony heroic feat and confronts him. "Who do you think you are to tell that I should let this creep go?" he asks foolishly.

"I am Lincoln Loud! Now if you dare mess with my brother, you mess with me too!" Lincoln cautions him confidently.

However, Lincoln gets beaten up in the process, causing him three black eyes to his face. Minutes later, the commotion is stopped by the guidance counselor, and they are sent immediately to his office. After filing a case for this offense, Lincoln and Lars wait outside the office, with the former heeding from his wounds with a cold steak, while Lars, seated on the other side, is languishing at the circumstance he got himself on. "I meant that figuratively," the 11-year-old reacts.

"You shouldn't have stood up for me, Lincoln," Lars says.

"Lars, I'm your older brother. I will always stand up for you in trouble," Lincoln replies in assurance. As he holds the bag of ice to his eye, he inquires from his brother, "Lars, those four boys who try to threaten you, what's that all about?"

"It's something that I don't want to share upon to you. My grief is nothing of harmless," the 8-year-old asserts.

"Lars, I know I may not understand you that much. But what I can do is help you carry your burdens. And how can I if you don't tell me what it is you are feeling?" the older brother tries his best attempts to connect with his gloomy brother but they settle on a minute-long silent treatment.

And realizing his brother's sensibility for him, Lars finally has the guts to confess what is going on to him. With that, he speaks to Lincoln about it, "She broke up with me. Sally. That girl in class. She broke up with me."

"What do you mean she broke up with you?" Lincoln inquires of his brother.

Lars then relays the whole story, "Poetry class and literature class are the only things I like about school. I get to recite my poems from there, an escape from the wrath I call 'bullies'. And then she came. Sally was her name. She was nothing like any other. She was…normal. Bright skin, short brown hair and rose lips. But she is good in poetry. She recites one every week. And I just feel happy hearing her. I took so much inspiration from her that my poems are for her. One time, I was practicing before I get to recite at class, until she was there listening to me. She loved my poems. And so, we started to…connect. We exchange poems through mails and emails. Our souls were intertwined that I cannot feel but happiness from darkness. Then once I expose to her my darkness, she…embraced it. It felt like she's the only person in school who understands me. But out of the waft of bliss comes blight. But one day, I was walking to class. Suddenly, I got tripped over by Nick, the blond guy, and my notebook slipped. My poems for Sally were scattered. And I got discovered by classmates. I was humiliated. But worse, I got discovered by John, who turned out to be hanging out with Sally all along. He got angry at this. And he pushed me around, even threatened to stay away from her. I tried to call her but I never got any answer from her ever since. And look where it went. I'm sorry about you black eye Lincoln. I should have not brought you into this. I deserve to be in the darkness."

After hearing his story, Lincoln immediately drops the ice bag from his face and approaches Lars to hug him. "That's okay Lars," he says empathetically, "I understand what you have to go through. I may not have the answers but I'm here." The older Loud brother tenderly embraces his brother. And in return, Lars hugs him back.

"I could really use a tender moment, even for a little while," Lars remarks, having felt security from his faithful brother.

Minutes go by, and the guidance counselor shows up from the door. "Oh, there you are kids. Sorry it took so long. I have to take them a diagnostics exam, just to fix their case. Are you fine there?"

"Yeah, we're fine," Lincoln answers.

Then, the guidance counselor recognizes Lincoln. "Wait, aren't you the kid who performed at the roller rink yesterday? With your brother?"

"Yeah?"

"Ohhh myyy. It's you! It's actually you! You know, your showmanship is what we need for the winter dance," the counselor says.

"The winter dance?"

"That's right. Yes, we are still looking for aspiring performers. But we want you and your brother to guest-perform for our dance."

"Really?"

"Definitely really. Now, all I need is for you and your brother and a band of your own for technical rehearsals. Would that be okay?"

"We would be thrilled with that news."

"Good. I'll have you guys on lineup for the program. Thanks anyway! Oh, and your good to go now."

"That's great, Mr. Murray! Thanks anyway!"

"Anytime. Lincoln, right?"

"Yes."

"Great. See you there!" With that, Lincoln and Lars leave for home.

"Never knew you actually performed," Lars says.

"I know right. It came out of nowhere. But then, it blossomed. Luke was definitely the one I have to thank for," Lincoln responds.

"That would be grandeur to see you perform," the 8-year-old remarks.

"That's nice," the white-haired brother replies, "Now, I'll just tell this news to Luke. And we can practice. But we need a band. How can I form a band?"

"You need a hand in reach for that?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I may be of assistance for that unfeasible task."

"Wait, you do play, right?"

"Organ playing has been a strong suit I develop to recapture the aura of H. P. Lovecraft, Mary Shelley and Bram Stoker. I may have keyboard playing skills." Lars then drags in a keyboard synthesizer and samples a creepy tune.

"But, can you play something that's out of your depth?"

"I returned the warm embrace that got me secured. I have gone out of my depth already."

"Right? Okay now that's settled, we just need the perfect inspiration for our performance."

From Lincoln's statement, Lars hatches an idea. "Want me to take you to the record bar?" he suggests.

And with that, the 8-year-old gloomy brother takes his older brother to a secluded record bar, found in their neighborhood.


	10. Lane

Just to recap, Lincoln rescued Lars from being beaten up by his enemies. Lars shared his story to his brother. Thankfully, the latter was recognized by the guidance counsellor from his impromptu performance in the roller rink. And the 8-year-old moody brother showed his support for his brother by volunteering to play keyboards.

The two just got off from visiting a secluded record store (located in someone else's house, and are about to get home.

"Ohhh sweet! Never thought I would find both Smooch and Twenty One Pirates on that record store," Lincoln utters in enthusiasm, carrying vintage vinyl records with him.

"Actually, that is one of my hiding places to zone off," Lars speaks about the store, "Luke took me there since I kept on requesting for him to play Green Day songs. And introduced me to me old-school records. I still like them."

"Yeah, glad we can bond over this kind of passion," Lincoln says.

"I have to say. As much as it is a scorn to my soul, yes indeed. I am glad that we bonded," Lars attests honestly.

As they step on the steps to the Loud house, Luke halts Lincoln from approaching to the door.

"What is it Lars?" Lincoln wonders.

"I sense something," Lars assumes. He then pulls out a slingshot and picks up a rock to shoot it at the floorboard by the porch. As he shoots the floorboard, it springs away from its original position, as it was hoisted by a spring, and triggers a target board (which looks like an archer's target board) to spring from behind them. Lars guesses it right: that the contraptions are pranks set by none other than Lane.

Speaking of him, the jokester 14-year-old shows up from the door and utters in disappointment, "Oh come on! I was gonna spring a surprise, so you'll not get board. Hahaha. Get it?" He then shuts the door from the inside.

"Lane…" Lars utters.

"Lane, what's going on with him?" Lincoln inquires of his brother.

"Just as I suspected. He set up traps, even when it's not April Fools. That is one of his pranks."

"Gosh, I wonder if he has any…"

"That's what we need to know."

The two then avoid the springboard prank and enter the house safely. Yet, the house seems intact, with no sign of Lane's pranking destruction. Thus, both Lincoln and Lars walk in casually, until a scorched Loki walks across them, with fumes on his face, and collapses in front of them.

"Loki, what happened?" Lincoln asks in concern.

"Lane…lathered the…popcorn kernels…with oil," Loki utters in pain, "And…it blew…on my face." Then he let his head fall, face down.

Lane then suddenly appears from the kitchen to confront Loki about his feat. "Hahaha. Man do I love it when your head popped to the stove and you got corn-ered by the explosion. Hehehe. Get it?" He then walks away in giggles.

"That's not good," Lincoln reacts.

"We need to stay vigilant and stealthy at any moment," Lars reminds Lincoln. Loki's mishap is just the tip of the iceberg of Lane's pranks.

Meanwhile, Lexx is about to get on his kiddie cart in his room, when suddenly, as he holds firms of the stirring wheel, the airbag pops, ricocheting around the room and bursting him to the wall. This makes Lexx's head stick out on the wooden wall.

Of course, Lane witnesses the whole scenario and shows to Lexx in total prank victory.

"Hahaha. Man Lexx, you sure one fly on the wall. Hehehe. Get it?" Lane jokes around him.

This enrages Lexx as he tries to rub off the wall debris from his face. "Errrghhh! You'll pay for this Lane!" he coaxes.

On the next pranking scenario, Loni is casually ironing his suits. Everything goes as planned but suddenly, the handle gets removed, leaving the flatiron burning his favorite teal suit. He tries to think of ways to remove the iron without getting burned. Eventually, the 16-year-old gets a spatula and flips the flatiron out of the ironing board. Though Loni is successful, the iron unexpectedly lands on his other suits on his bed, burning them in the process. He quickly pulls off each suit, to no avail, since they get scorched, producing a hole in the middle.

In recurring fashion, Lane pops out of nowhere and teases on Loni's clumsy mistake. "Hahaha. Oh Loni, your burning passion for fashion has literally burned your clothes. Hehehe. I'm sure you'll look smokin' in those clothes. Hehehe. Get it?"

However, Loni gets dismayed over Lane's prank that he has nothing to feel but displeasure that his precious but tacky suits have been scorched with a remarkable hole.

Finally, in the last pranking session, Lynn is enjoying his usual round of beef jerky subs. Of course, spicy sandwiches causes the 13-year-old sportsman to have his stomach grumble and send him to the bathroom. His trip to the Loud's bathroom is casual, with no waiting lines to worry about. However, as Lynn places himself above the toilet seat, the water starts to leak from the inside. Lynn attempts to drain them by pushing the flush lever. However, toilet water continues to overflow till it floods the bathroom. Lynn tries to reach the surface. But suddenly, a strong surge of water flows from the toilet, causing the floodwater to burst out of the bathroom and engulfing the bedrooms in the process. Minutes later, as the flood subsides, a soaked Lynn gets up.

And recurrently, Lane pops out of nowhere and joshes on Lynn, "Hahaha, I'm sure you're flooded with questions, like 'how did I get here?', or 'how am I wet?', or 'why am I sticking my underwear?'"

When Lane mentioned that his brother is on his underwear, Lynn instantly tries to cover it from Lane.

"Hahaha, look at how flushed your face looks. Hahaha, get it?" Lane teases Lynn, causing the latter to get embarrassed, then angered. "Aww…sorry that I toi-let your feelings down. I'm sure you can toilet-rate this next time. Hahaha. Get it?" He then walks away in hollers, leaving a flushed Lynn standing soaked and only in his shirt and underwear.

Lincoln is able to hear the commotion upstairs and rushes to catch up with the happenings there. "Lynn, what's going on?" he inquires of his brother.

"Lane is at it again! He flooded our bedrooms with toilet water," Lynn says angrily.

"Oh no!" Lincoln panics.

Having heard what Lynn said, Lincoln checks out the bathroom to ensure it is still intact, which is still. But learning that flood also surged through the bedrooms prompts Lincoln to check out Levi's room, since the flood may have damaged the portal creator that Levi is building for him to get back to his true dimension. As Lincoln checks Levi's room, he discovers it soaked, but Levi's scientific equipment is nowhere in sight. The 11-year-old searches for it from top to bottom, to no avail. "Where Levi's equipment could be?" he utters.

Eventually, Lincoln recalls a similar scenario he had during April Fools' Day when Luan annually becomes overblown in pranking. With that, he checks the backyard, in search of Levi's presumed hidden bunker. He digs through the grass and eventually comes across a metal surface. He knocks on a supposed door. And surprise, Levi shows from it.

"Levi, glad you're safe!" Lincoln expresses his relief.

"I have to stay secluded in an exclusive, subversive area after I learned that Lane is setting up his contraptions for a shot on his comedic gigs," Levi elaborates. "Don't fret, Lincoln. The portal is safe. But I need my respective dwelling back as the base of operations. Conducting elaborate experiments in a foxhole located in a subterranean environment disallows admission to connections for solar energy, renewable squall transmission and wireless local area network."

Having a hard time digesting what Levi said in a hifalutin sense, Lincoln asks favorably, "Uhmm can you repeat what you said?"

"I need my room back," Levi reiterates, "So Lincoln, I need your help. I need you stop Lane in his lollygagging."

"Me? How can I stop a professional pranking master?"

"I don't know. You get to restrain Lexx and Leif for once. I'm sure you can do it to Lane."

With that, Lincoln tries to think of a way to stop Lane in his pranking schemes. Since he recalled Luan's April Fools' pranking spree a while ago, he thinks of executing the same plan to Lane.

Thus, the 11-year-old gathers all his brothers (sans Lane, obviously) in the basement.

"I'm sure you know why I gathered all of you here?" Lincoln pronounces to his brothers.

"Uhh yeah, but we'll you hurry up," Loki insists, "I have to call Bebe to cancel her visit here tonight."

"Don't bother about that," Lincoln assures, "I've got just the solution. But first, Lexx, switch on the dryer."

Lexx then does what Lincoln said, but wonders, "Why Lincoln? Why do I need to…ohhh…clever one, bro."

"Now, I know we have our differences and wild sides on us. But if we can put them aside and join forces, we can stop Lane for bugging on us."

"And how do we supposed to do that?" Lynn asks.

"Let me lay down plans on you guys," Lincoln says.

"Better make it snappy. The spinning cycle is about to last a minute," Levi indicates.

And for the readers who are suspicious, yes, this is a reenactment of the revenge scheme by the Loud kids to Luan on the episode "April Fools' Rules". But there is a difference. It is still the same plan: to trap Lane in a cage. But instead of Lincoln executing this during bedtime, he has this executed at late night, hours away from their sleep. When the plan is set and the boys prepare to execute it, Lincoln climbs upstairs to fetch Lane and take him downstairs, in order for the boys to trap him.

"Okay guys, are we ready?" Lincoln asks.

Then the Loud boys signify it with thumbs up to Lincoln. At that assurance, Lincoln approaches Lane in his room. Since this is Lane, a pranking genius, Lincoln keeps himself vigilant of what surprises he may bring. But as he enters the open door to Levi's room, the 11-year-old sees his brother relaxed on his bed, with a pen, a paper and a head flashlight.

"Oh hey Linc, how's it going?" Lane greets him warmly.

"Hi Lane, I am just here to see if you want to watch TV with me…" Lincoln hesitatingly says.

"Uhmmm okay…what's on TV?" the 14-year-old jokester follows along.

"Well…" his brother replies, trying to think of TV shows to attract Lane to take him downstairs.

"Dust! Hehehe. Get it? What is on TV? Hehehe."

"Hehehe. That's a good one…" Lincoln nervously laughs along, trying not to lose Lane's attention.

"No really, Lincoln. What's on TV now?"

"Well, there is your favorite, _The Late Late Show_. And there's also _Saturday Night Live_."

"Oh _SNL_. You really know my tastes, bro. I guess that make us buds. Hehehe. Get it?"

"Yeah. Hehehe…got it. Well, let's get down…and tune in downstairs."

"Hold on a minute, Lincoln. I just need to formulate some punchlines for my gig this Saturday."

"Well…what you have?"

"Okay, what happens when two campers fight?"

"Uhmmmm...what happens?"

"The situation gets in-tents. Hehehe. Get it?" (Guess the in-joke here.)

"Yeah, pretty much. Yeah."

Lane then glances over Lincoln's nervous reply, deducing that his brother might found the joke already corny. He then asks, "You don't like it?"

But Lincoln denies his obvious disregard for Lane's puns, "No, no, no, of course I like it. It's just…I want to hear more." Lincoln does this with an uneasy smile.

"Good!" Lane replies, "Okay, here's one clever. How did Humpty Dumpty respond to a joke?"

"How?" Lincoln goes along.

"It cracked him that he went egg-rolling on the floor laughing. Hehehe. Get it?"

"Actually, that's pretty clever, to be honest. You might add, 'the joke was too funny that omelet him roll along." Then the two laugh at Lincoln's clever banter.

Lane then suggests, "Or 'all the king's horses and all the king's men try to put Humpty back again, since they dumped him with many jokes. Hahaha." This causes for both brothers to holler over their pun exchange.

"Nice wordplay there, bro," Lincoln compliments, "You know, I never thought that we would be clever on puns." Then, the brothers go through a series of joke exchanges.

"Yeah bro, well that was pun. Hehe," Lane replies, "Well that's too much inspiration for one night, time for perspiration. Let's go hit the living room."

"You said it," Lincoln agrees willingly.

The two then proceed downstairs as planned, though Lincoln has unknowingly set aside the plan to lure Lane into a trap. Lane then shares his testimony to Lincoln, "You know Lincoln, I never thought I would actually bond with you, because I think our relationship was paper thin. Hehehe. Get it? But I digress. It was great having you around."

"You too Lane," Lincoln replies in gratitude.

However, as they are about to arrive at the base of the ground floor, the boys give a sneak attack to Lane. Suddenly remembering the plan, Lincoln pushes his brother aside, shouting "Lane!", as they boys beat up, capture, deface and trap what is presumably Lane to a cage with a key safe padlock. They then cover the cage with a sheet to blind their jokester brother.

"Now Lane, let's see you experience how it feels get trapped by your jokes. Hehehe," Loki mocks, with the boys laughing at the background in agreement. But as Loki uncovers the sheet, it is revealed that they beaten up, captured, defaced and trapped Lincoln instead of Lane.

"What?! Lincoln?! What you doing in there?!" Loki asks in bewilderment.

"Wait, if we trapped Lincoln, where's Lane?" Luke wonders.

"I'm here," Lane utters as he gets up from being pushed by Lincoln to save him from his brothers' wrath. "Lincoln saved me?" he mumbles.

"So wait, Lane was able to teleport? I didn't know that exists," Loni says.

"Just because it doesn't, dumbo," Lynn replies.

"No wonder Loni is as dumb as a peanut-leaving elephant," Leif adds.

"Okay, we'll everyone quit it," Loki assesses; "Now whatever reason we had Lincoln trapped here, it's all Lane's fault."

"Wait, you guys supposed to trap me?" Lane queries his brothers.

"Yes!" the brothers (sans Lincoln) answer in unison.

"Your soul must be tamed behind bars from the pranks you have committed," Lars adds.

"Man, that really bums such a high spirit. Hehehe. Get it?" Lane still adds a joke, in spite of a direct confrontation with his brothers.

"Well, since Lane here got lucky not being trapped, we're gonna have him trapped once more, in sentence of your destruction," Loki says out of an evil aura and furious anger.

Eventually, the boys agree to punish Lane by having him release Lincoln out of the cage via decrypting the safe padlock. Lane must not use any equipment other than his wits and muscular strength. With that, he sorely accepts his repercussion, despite never meaning for his pranks to be the source of venting from his brothers, and does the task overnight.

Lincoln, bruised and filled with marker pen vandalism, recognizes Lane having a dismayed face for the first time. "Hey Lane, are you okay?" he asks.

"I'm sorry I have you trapped here," Lane apologizes.

"No Lane, it's okay. I really want myself to get trapped instead of you," Lincoln sincerely shares.

"But why bro? I deserve this."

"I don't want my brother to get embarrassed from the passion he loves. And also, this is on my own doing too, bro, since I planned all of this. Jokes on me. Hehe."

"Awww…you fail, bro. Hehehe. Failed as Nicolas Cage. Hehehe."

"That's actually a good one."

Minutes go by, and still, Lane cannot decipher the code combination for the lock.

"Sorry Lincoln, I tried my best," Lane expresses his regret.

"Well, you can do something else, other than freeing me," Lincoln says to reboot Lane's optimism.

Sighing, Lane pulls out a harmonica and plays it to the tune of "Stand by Me" by Ben E. King. His performance with the instrument is okay for a seldom player of the instrument, but Lane sometimes to use it as part of his act. Lincoln starts to mumble the words, since he only knows the chorus. Then, this prompts Lane to play something more modern: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. And with that, they jam all night long, with the highlight being its bridge of "I see a silhouette of a man…" Lane is able to play solidly, making Lincoln think he is a perfect candidate to include in his band to play for the winter dance.

After an enjoyable jamming session, Lane expresses his enjoyment, "Man, never thought we would go together in harmony. Hehehe."

"Of course, Lane. Glad we weren't treble. Hehehe," Lincoln jokes, turning it to another round of laughs.


	11. Lynn

The next day, Lincoln wakes up to discover that the cage door is opened without any tampering or damage, which only means Lane has successfully unlocked the cage where Lincoln is at. He walks to the kitchen to wash his face. But suddenly, he sees a newly reinvigorated Lane preparing the family's breakfast.

"Good morning Lincoln!" Lane greets his newly awakened brother, "Good thing you're the early bird right now. Though I am not gonna serve worms. Hahaha."

"Hey Lane!" Lincoln greets him, "Are you preparing our breakfast?"

"Indeed," the 14-year-old jokester, "We have cornflakes, corn chowder, muffins with corn, bread and jam, and of course, corn with rice. Or simply known as a Corn-tinental breakfast. Hahaha get it?"

"Well, that was corny," Lincoln replies, prompting the two to laugh harder.

"At least it's not fast food from Kernel Sanders," Lane replies jokingly, continuing their laughing spree.

"Yeah definitely. This is a-maize-ing. No pun intended."

"I cornfield you Lincoln. Can't believe you would actually fall for my corn puns."

As the two laugh extensively, Luke and Lars get up from their sleep. They walk to the kitchen to see the two exchanging laughs.

"What's going on here?" Luke asks woozily. His eyes are drooping, indicating he had a heavy sleep.

Lars then realizes that Lane has actually freed Lincoln. "I see you were able to unlock the cage that Lincoln got trapped in…"

"Yeah, it was hard," Lane replies, "But I just got lock-y when I hit the right combination: 9-0-2-1-0." He then laughs at this feat.

"Whoever made that as a code combination is a moron," Luke comments.

"It's Loni," Lars answers."That explains everything," Luke adds as they both see Lincoln and Lane holler in laughter.

Lincoln then announces the big news to Luke, "Hey Luke, guess what? We just got lined up to perform for the winter dance!"

"Shut up!" Luke replies.

Lincoln then excitedly tells the whole story, "No really. I think Lars was there when that guidance counselor, who turns out to be an organizer, recognized me from performing in the roller rink. So that's why he wants us to perform with a band."

"No…mind blown," Luke reacts, "That's awesome dude!"

"I know right! But, we need a band. And it's just the two of us…"

"Okay, what we need is a drummer, a keyboardist, a bassist, a guy who can do winds and a roadie."

"Lars volunteered yesterday to play the keyboards."

Lars then replies, "I owe it to the brother who spared my soul from infirmity."

"That's awesome," Luke replies.

"And I just got the guy who can do winds," Lincoln says, "Hit it Lane!"

At that motion, Lane sounds his harmonica. This somehow amazes the two, but Luke is rather undeterred.

"It takes more than just a harmonica to do rock-and-roll," Luke sternly comments.

This makes Lane hide his harmonica and pull out a saxophone to play. Though an amateur, Lane is able to pull off a performance from the sax. Luke is rather impressed, but still undeterred. "Good, but I don't know if we need a wind instrument in our band," Luke says.

"Come on Luke! Please! Give Lane a chance," Lincoln pleads.

"I don't know. He might be just 'dust in the wind'," Luke responds.

"At least I'm not 'blowin' in the wind'. Hahaha. Get it?" Lane jokingly adds.

"Smooth words, bro," the 15-year-old rocker reacts to such a purposeful pun.

"Come on, please!" Lincoln pleads once more, making Luke think of an alternative way to include Lane in their band. Though he is reluctant, since he knows other people better suited for a shot as a rock band member, Luke paves way to take advantage of his prankster brother's hidden talent. Since he knows, in the end, playing for rock-and-roll is all about having fun.

With that, after a corn-filled breakfast, Luke has Lane play his bass guitar.

"Okay bro, stay in this position," Luke lectures, prompting Lane to follow him, "Your fingers on the bridge, then thrum. Just like that. Your turn."

Lane does so, mimicking Luke's beat.

"Hmmm…not bad," Luke reacts impressed, "Now just keep on playing in that beat throughout our number."

"Wait, just that beat?" Lane asks.

"Yeah. What's wrong with that bro?"

"Nothing. I just thought that I could do a little more fun in the beat, than just phoning in the beat. Hehe…"

"Well, show me how you can have fun in the beat?" Lane thinks of Luke's words as a dare. With that, Lane plays an impromptu beat that blows Luke away. Then, the 14-year-old jokester turns it into a performance of "Tribute" by Tenacious D. His beats are as wild as how Jack Black plays the guitar with Kyle Gass. He even utters some of the words in the chorus. Truly, Luke's mind is perfectly blown.

After that, Luke with a bewildered face looks at awe on his brother's number. He then pats his shoulder, saying, "Wow! Never thought that my brother would actually have rock talents…"

"Did I beat your expectations? Hehehe. Get it?" Lane jokingly utters.

"More than just beat. You crushed it!" Luke compliments with sheer conviction. As a response, he exchanges fists with his brother.

Just as then, Lincoln and Lars enter the room. "Hey guys! How's it going?" Lincoln asks.

"Oh dude, your brother here is a rock star," Luke says.

"I am?" Lane articulates, "Yes, I am!"

"You know, with that talent, you could do comedy albums."

"Hey! That's a resounding idea! Hehe. Get it?"

"I am glad you discovered Lane's musical potential," Lincoln applauds.

"Yeah, now we need one crucial member: the drummer," Luke indicates.

"Great. But where do we start?"

"I came to know many drummers I came across with. But there's one in the family who knows how to play the drums: Lynn."

"Lynn? How do you know Lynn knows how to play drums?"

"It was back at Gus' Games N' Grub."

Luke then recalls one time when he went with Lynn at Gus' Games N' Grub to order pizza for the family. While waiting, Lynn took a hike to play at the arcade. Since he played most of them, Lynn took notice of the drum set arcade game. Being the competitive brother he is, Lynn gave it a chance to the extreme, and surprisingly was able to finish the game. Overhearing this, Luke was surprised at his athletic brother's hidden talent for drumming.

"Woah, never thought Lynn can actually can pull off drumming," Lincoln reacts."I know. That's why we need him to trust us in this gig," Luke says with conviction.

"And how will we do that?" the 11-year-old inquires of his brother.

Then suddenly, Loki bursts from the door, looking for the four brothers. "Glad I found you guys here! Aren't you going?" he asks them.

"Uhmmm going where?" Lincoln asks."Oh, I forgot. It's Thursday mudball," Lars recalls. At the hearing of "Thursday mudball", he, Luke and Lane excitedly pull out their football jerseys and helmets, and scoot towards downstairs.

"Wait guys! I thought we…" Lincoln says hectically, trying to catch up with his brothers. He then sees Levi walking causally with a clipboard and a whistle. "Levi, what's going on?"

"Oh. I haven't spoken to you about this," Levi utters, "Every afternoon of the first Thursday of the month, which is today, we have a tradition called 'Thursday mudball', where play a team sport in Lynn's favorite field."

"What's that?" Lincoln asks.

"Oh. It started when Lynn won his first gold medal for basketball. He won as MVP for that year. But Loki and the rest bragged that they can beat Lynn in a sports game. That includes me. Thus, we dared Lynn this: if he and his team win, the losing team will have to do everything as he pleases. But if he loses to the team that is not his, the tradition is cut off, and he must give up being an athletic nuthead. Got that?"

"So wait, let me get this straight. We must defeat Lynn and his team for him to give up?"

"That seems like an arbitrary interpretation, but affirmative. If you need to earn Lynn's trust, here is your opportunity."

"Oh that would be easy."

"Hope it will because you are assigned in the opposing team this year."

"What?!"

"Don't vex, brethren. Just play a fair game, and all will be fine for him."

"Well, at least this year's game would be easy, right?"

Just as Lincoln has his assurance, he quickly learns, after the boys arrive on the field (covered with mud to up the ante) and set up their uniforms and gears, that the game is something unorthodox.

"Capture the flag with dodgeball?!" Lincoln vexes in bewilderment, "How does that work?"

"Easy," Levi confirms, "Goal is to capture the enemy flag. And the only way to fend off each other is hitting with balls. You get hit, you're out. Last man standing for this game."

"Who ever thought of this hare-brained idea anyway?" Lincoln queries, leading Levi to point at none other than Lynn Loud Jr., who is seen picking his nose. "Should have known…" he replies, "Wait, why you aren't in uniform?"

"I got referee duties. Lucky for this year. Hahhh," Levi utters. He then walks to the center field to initiate the gameplay. Speaking of which, those on Lynn's team (called The Pachyderms) include himself, Loki, Loni, Lexx and Leif, while those on Lincoln's team (The Mules) consist of him, Luke, Lane, Lars and a guest player.

Luke then taps Lincoln's shoulder and guarantees him, "It's gonna be great bro. Can't wait to play this game."

"I don't know. I think they have a stronger spirit," Lincoln comments, looking at Lynn's team butting their chests together as their act of "unity".

"They don't. Trust me," Luke assures.

Lincoln's team then gathers around before the game. "Okay, I am pretty nervous. We can win this, right?" Lincoln addresses.

"Nahh, expecting defeat is less throbbing than feeling defeat," Lars utters, "So, I will spare this moment with less hope."

"Maybe if you could stop with the hope-la and savor the game. Hehehe. Get it?" Lane jokes.

"Wait, were supposed to be five, right?" Lincoln shares his concern.

"He supposed to be here any moment," Luke confirms.

Right after Luke states that, a voice sounds to them, "Wait up guys!"

"And there he is," Luke comments, to reveal that the one calling them, Clyde, is their fifth player.

"Sorry Linc. Sorry guys. Have to rush from home to the field. It was a long run," Clyde says as he catches his breath.

"Clyde, can't believe you came here for us!" Lincoln proclaims gratefully.

"Why wouldn't I, buddy?" he replies, "Luke here is desperate to look for a fifth player for your team. So, I stepped in."

"Hey, I'm not desperate," Luke denies, "I'm just…convinced that you are a fine player."

"Besides, I have worse things to handle," Clyde adds as he spots the arrival of Loki's girlfriend Bebe. She has all the characteristics of Bobby (the jack-of-all-trades and all) if she was gender-swapped, but has the likeness of Mrs. DiMartino and Vanessa Hudgens in High School Musical. As she arrives, Loki approaches her and kisses her on the lips, just to show the extent of their relationship.

Looking at this, Clyde gets infuriated. "Redemption is now in my blood. Let's do this Linc!"

With that motivation, Lincoln replies, "Alright!"

Afterwards, the Mules huddle up shoulder-to-shoulder as the team captain, Luke, lays down their plan. "Okay, simple plan dudes! We just need to find the perfect opening to hit Lynn. Got it?"

Thinking that plan is simple but ineffective, Lincoln raises his hand in concern, "Uhmmm Luke, is that it?"

"Yeah, what's the problem?"

"I don't know. I mean there could be other strategies to kick Lynn out."

"Alright, that's it! Just try to Lynn while we think of a strategy to hit him. Got it?"

Then the rest of the team players, except Lincoln, utter, "Got it!"

"Wait, that wasn't I was…" Lincoln tries to lay his concern, but Luke gets the boys ready in the field.

"Formation!" Luke yells, placing the boys in position.

As for the other team, they finish huddling and prepare their positions. The Pachyderms seem to be in high spirits (with their snarling/growling faces), for the obvious reason that Lynn is part of their team.

Levi sounds his whistle to get the teams' attention. "Okay. Same rules as last time. Balls are in the mud field. Get hit by a ball, and you're out," he explains, "The goal is to be the first team to get 5 captures of your enemy's flag. But last man standing applies, if each of you get easily eliminated. Every whistle means we pause the game when somebody either gets hit or a flag is captured. Are we clear?"

"So wait, there are two ways to win?" Lincoln queries.

"Mhm," Lane confirms, "Think of it like Quidditch: you have to shoot the ball, but you can also catch the snitch. And I'm sure none of us are. Hehehe. Get it?"

"Okay! Balls are on the mud, flags are in your bases. Are you ready?" the 4-year-old signals, putting the two opposing teams at set position. And at the blow of Levi's whistle, they start getting balls and hit each other, making Levi get soaked in mud in the process.

The game goes on smoothly with the boys hitting their opponents. Lincoln, on the other hand, is trying to crawl away from the squabble but is flabbergasted to see his team go through the motions.

Finally, he is confronted by Lynn with two balls on his arms raised. "Going somewhere, bro?" Lynn asks with a threatening grin.

With that, Lincoln flees from him in panic, evading other passing balls in the process. He suddenly bumps onto Luke, making them fall to the muddy ground.

"Bro, watch where you are going. You're gonna get us cornered," Luke cautions Lincoln.

"Sorry bro. Didn't know that this game is really brutal," Lincoln replies.

But while Lincoln says that, Luke sees a horde of balls speeding to their direction and places Lincoln behind to shield his brother from the balls. "Bro look out!" the rocker brother alerts, making the dodgeballs hit him.

"Luke!" Lincoln wails as he runs to his brother's aid.

"Lincoln, you…coach now," Luke utters in the same manner as a dying mentor would do in mainstream Hollywood movies.

"Me coach?" Lincoln responds, "I can't. I barely even know how this game works."

"Me…too…"

At that sight, Levi sounds his whistle to pause the game to announce Luke's status. "Luke, out!" He then drags his eliminated brother away from the field.

As he is dragged, Luke utters like a dying mentor, "Beat…Lynn…"

Because of that, Lincoln is determined to think of strategies to get through such a ludicrous game that Lynn, of all people, could ever invent. He then tries to huddle his teammates. "Okay guys with Luke gone, it's only us against them. We have to stick together to win this…"

However, Levi abruptly signals for the game to continue.

"Come on guys!" Lane encourages them charging mindlessly to their opponents.

Frustrated, Lincoln follows along. While dodging in general is no hard labor for him, having his brothers execute another strategy is a hard one. Each of them are trying to fend off each of the opposing team's members: Lars to Loni and Leif; Lane to Lexx; and Clyde to Loki. However, he spots Lincoln absent from the field. But then Lincoln looks behind to his team base to see Lynn capturing their flag.

"Hey Lynn!" Lincoln shouts at his competitive brother and tries to catch him. However, Lynn physical strength is no match for Lincoln. As the 13-year-old athlete runs back to his base, he unknowingly steps Loki in the foot, leaps onto Leif's head (making him slip), hits Loni in the face with the flag, elbows Lars in the arm (making Lincoln tend to his care) and slides to the base, mudding Lexx in the process. Regardless, the two cheer for him, as Lynn sets the enemy flag to the base.

"A point goes to The Pachyderms," Levi declares, giving the cheers to Lynn's team.

Meanwhile, Lincoln's team gathers from one tiresome round, with the exception to an adamant Lars.

"Okay bud, what can we do now?" Clyde asks.

"I don't know," Lincoln responds hopelessly. He then turns to Luke for help, but he declines. "I can't bro. Penalty," Luke emphasizes by pointing at Levi with a clipboard and a counter-clock. He can only rest by the bench with Leon and Bebe watching. Due to that, Lincoln gets frustrated.

"There's no hope for this," Lincoln says hopeless.

"We just need a diversion, in order for some of us to get the flag," Lars suggests.

Taking that in mind, Lincoln lays his plan, "Okay, new strategy, we need a quick hand to distract Lynn. Clyde, you distract him. Lars, you lead Loki and the twins to where Clyde leads Lynn, so we can hit them at one piece. Lane, you help Lars. I'll take care of Loni. He's a weak link."

"Uhmm I don't you should call him…" Lars notes. However, Lincoln interrupts as he gathers his team back to the field.

"Okay battle station guys!" the 11-year-old hollers, while the other team excitedly positions as well. Lincoln glances on his brother's proud sneer, the mark of a real snarling athlete.

"Back to the ball game!" Levi signals them, then blows his whistle to resume the game.

As planned, Clyde hits at Lynn's direction, getting his attention. The latter then chases the wingman across the field. Lars also gets Loki's attention, but gets nearly cornered by Lexx and Leif. However, he is able to lead them alongside Clyde's path, giving Lane room to hit at their direction. Lynn speeds us, pushing his fellow teammates in the process to corner Clyde and Lars.

Lars and Clyde's diversion gives Lincoln the opportunity to sprint to the Pachyderm's base to get their flag.

Suddenly, Loni shoots him from behind. Gaining momentum to defend his team's base, Loni haphazardly throws balls to his direction. And one pounce at Lincoln's foot direction gives him the slip. This gives Loni the opportunity to hit him. But Lane takes a dive for Lincoln to get hit instead.

"Lane's out!" Levi declares with a sound of his whistle.

"Lane! How can…you…?" Lincoln spouts to the aid of his brother.

"Brother, it's ball yours..." Lane utters in a serious tone, though with an intended pun, "Defeat the Dodge oven, for us."

"Enough drama, Lane," Levi says, dragging him away from the field.

As Lane is eliminated, Lincoln has Clyde and Lars left in his team. The two then approach him for their new strategy.

"What do we do now Lincoln?" Clyde asks.

However, Lincoln has no answer to utter. He can only look hopelessly to the other team, who is celebrating their consistent victory. But a particular note is that he finds Lynn attributing the victories to himself.

"Okay, okay, thank you guys. I am so thoughtful of you guys, for me. It has been great for me to bring the entire team to victory. Without your efforts, I wouldn't put us to victory," Lynn brags, making the brothers cheer for their (or his) accomplishment.

"I know we are outnumbered. But numbers do not always define a team," Lars utters.

"What are you saying?" Lincoln responds.

"I just want to ring the point that it does not matter if we are outnumbered," the 8-year-old moody brother elaborates, "We can take advantage of it. Numbers don't even matter to them."

"So, what do you suggest?" Lincoln asks. He then reflects on what Lars mentioned about numbers. At that ground, he gets an idea, "I think I got it! You're right about the other team not minding about their numbers, because they are relying on one – Lynn."

"What do you mean Linc?" Clyde inquires of his best friend.

Lincoln then explains his conclusions, "Lynn has been the driving force of his own teams. Think about it. His varsities. His own brothers. It's all about Lynn. And where does Lynn get his support to the victories that he thinks he "single-handedly won"? His teammates. If we can target anyone aside from Lynn, we can corner him and outnumber him."

"Sounds like a far-fetched idea. But it's a good deduction," Lars comments.

"Yeah, but how can we beat them? There's five of them and three of us," Clyde points out.

"If we work together, and in a coordinated way, we can beat the Pachyderms at any moment," Lincoln encourages, "Now who's with me? Mules in the middle!" He says so with playing his hand in the middle. Lars then follows Lincoln and Clyde follows last. "I'm with you buddy, till the very end," the latter says confidently.

With that, the game resumes. While the Pachyderms are kind of chilling, confident of their assured victory, the Mules are more determined than ever.

"Okay guys, follow my lead, and you guys lead as well," Lincoln utters to them in position, making them nod in agreement.

"You're going down, donkeys!" Lynn mocks them as his team positions themselves on the field.

Right now, Lincoln can foresee a confrontation against his toughest sibling in general, Lynn. Face to face, they ready for the next round.

 _To be continued…_


	12. A House Full of Lynns

On the next round of capture the flag with dodgeballs, the game goes forth in the muddy field between the Pachyderms (Lynn, Loki, Loni, Lexx and Leif) and Mules (Lincoln, Lars and Clyde). At Levi's blow of the whistle, the round starts.

Lincoln leads the way, with both Lars and Clyde behind his tail. The rival team just throws dodgeballs at them, since clusters are always an easy target. Reaching the edge of the left side of the field, Lincoln signals, "Lars, you go to the enemy field. Clyde, come with me!"

"Right," both respond, as Lars slides to the Pachyderms' base and Clyde joins Lincoln back to their own base.

Having a dodgy persona (pun intended) allows Lars to evade his brothers' attacks to him, despite a load of balls being thrown at him.

Lynn then spots Lars circling around their base and then hurtling towards their flag and calls out for his teammates, "Bros, intruder alert. Fire at him! And no Lynn doing nothing!"

With that, Lynn, Loki, Loni, Lexx and Leif turn their attention to Lars and shoot at his direction. This gives the opportunity for Lincoln and Clyde to drag several balls on their side to allow them to corner one opponent.

Sure enough, Leif notices a shortage of balls. As he tries to find extra dodgeballs from his own team's field to the opponent's field, he gets cornered by Lincoln and Clyde. The 6-year-old brother chuckles at hesitation over their control.

"Going somewhere, Leif?" Lincoln intimidates his brother.

Leif can only respond in nervous chuckles, realizing that he has nowhere to run. Despite the assurance that Leif could run away to where he been before, Lincoln and Clyde hits him simultaneously.

With that, Levi pauses the game with his whistle and declares Leif eliminated, giving the Pachyderms their first loss.

"What?! How could that happened?" Lynn reacts as Levi points to Leif, who got woozy from being hit on the head. "Tell me why…am nothing but a heartache…" he woozily utters, then faints to the ground.

Lexx clenches his shirt and complains, "Leif, you moron! How could you get mauled by the enemy?!"

"I want it that way…" Leif spouts dazedly.

As usual, Levi drags him off the field. And Lynn gets enraged on their first loss. Nevertheless, they continue the game.

The next round continues with Lincoln and him team being chased by the rival team. As they reach near the Pachyderm's base, Lincoln stops from running and shouts, "Hey guys! It's uncle Lincoln!"

At that signal, the opposing team targets to lunge on top of Lincoln, allowing Lars and Clyde to outrun them.

"You take the left side," Clyde utters.

"While you take the right," Lars responds, in agreement to the team strategy. With that, Clyde and Lars run to the right and left side of the field, respectively.

Meanwhile, Lincoln braces for Loki, Loni, Lynn and Lexx to pile on top of him. However, he is able to evade them by quickly digging a hole on the ground and shielding himself from the dogpile.

Clyde and Lars pick up balls from their respective sides and shoot it to the pile's direction. Unfortunately, Lexx springs out of the dogpile and shouts, "You and your dogpiles, Lincoln! Why could you?!" This gives way for both Clyde and Lars to hit balls at Lexx, eliminating him from the game.

Levi officially declares this, "It's three against three!" He then drags Lexx off the field, while the latter bellows, "Please no! Don't drag me away! The game isn't over for me!"

Lincoln, Lars and Clyde applaud their instantaneous winning streak, while Lynn watches them in rage.

"Don't worry. They're just little sprouts that need to be get rid of," Loki assures.

"Yeah, we can sure reduce bean sprouts in our diets," Loni adds.

"It's a different sprout I'm referring to, Loni," Loki clarifies, "But let's not worry."

Out of his temper, Lynn confronts his older brother by the fist, "You better know what you are talking about because losing is not an option!"

"You mean failure is not an option?"

"Same thing!"

After a short break, Levi resumes the game in full swing. Luke and Lane cheer for their team by the bench, while the twins, Leon and Bebe watch as the game unfolds.

For the next round, Lynn commands the boys to throw many balls as fast as they can, while Lincoln has assigned Lars and Clyde to outrun and hit Loki and Lynn, respectively. As for him, he plans to lure Loni to a diversion. With that, Lincoln sprints to his direction to get his attention, "Hey Loni! Care to catch me?"

"Oh, under the ruler of Master Lynn, I will catch you!" Loni utters proudly.

"You mean 'by the rules of Coach Lynn'? Not Master Lynn."

"It's the same thing!"

At that signal, Lincoln has Loni chase him throughout the field and towards his home base. Loki then notices Loni passing by the enemy flag and calls out to him, "Loni, get the flag!"

"What?" Loni responds, trying to hear his brother/roommate from a distance.

"Get. The. Flag!" he reiterates loudly. This catches the attention of Lynn, who stops chasing Clyde.

Loni then faces his right side to notice that the enemy flag is right beside him. He then looks back at Loki for confirmation.

"That one! Take it and bring it back to the base!" Loki instructs, leading Loni to do that what he says. He claims flag and celebrates like a kid.

However, as Loki and Lynn grasp on their victory, they notice Lars and Clyde hurtling towards Loni. They both try to evade them through dodgeballs.

But one thing they do not notice is that Lincoln is swipes the enemy flag and rushes back to the base while dribbling a dodgeball. Lexx and Leif try to warn them, to no avail. And at full speed, Lincoln throws a ball to Loki to get out of his way, leaps from a ball thrown at him, retrieves his team's flag from a clueless Loni, hits a ball to the latter and places both flags to base's mound, declaring victory for the Mules.

Levi is able to witness at full speed and declares, "One point for the Mules, leading a two-way tie. And Loni is eliminated!"

At that announcement, the Mules celebrate in their near victory, while Lynn grows angrier than ever.

"You should have the flag away from his hands!" Lynn complains to his older brother.

"But you told us to throw many balls at them," Loni reminds Lynn, but the latter beats him up from his mistake.

"Okay, break first before we move to the next round," Levi announces as he walks to his podium, sipping a cup of Gatorade.

While Lynn is venting on his teammates for their surprising incompetency, Loki approaches Lincoln's team to congratulate them, "Hey Mules, not bad for a winning streak."

"Well, we might as well call it a lucky streak," Lincoln boasts.

"Yeah, but you know what they say, it ain't over till it's over," Loki warns them, "Especially you, Clyde. I try to forget what you did. But I can't. So better be ready 'cause I'll literally turn you to a human pretzel!"

As Loki walks away, Lincoln asks Clyde, "What is it with you and Loki?"

"It's a long story buddy," Clyde replies hesitantly.

Clyde then recalls that moment that Loki is specifying. Clyde was riding on his bike when suddenly the bolts of the wheels came loose, causing him to lose control and to traverse to the park. Unexpectedly, he ended up on a romantic dinner by the moonlight set by Loki for Bebe, thrashing all its hard-worked décor and crashing to their table. As Clyde recovered, he accidentally smacked his lips to Bebe's, an unexpected opportunity for him but a trigger for temper for Loki. At that day, though Loki had animosity towards Clyde prior to the date, he officially considered him as public enemy #1.

"It 'literally' didn't end well," Clyde says.

Abruptly, Levi announces, "Five minutes everyone before we start the next round!'

At that signal, Lincoln and Clyde go back to the field. "Just don't mind about it Clyde. Whatever happens, we're all in this together," the former encourages.

The Pachyderms and the Mules position themselves for another round. Lynn is fiercer than ever, given the fact they are empty-handed from Lincoln's team. At Levi's whistle, Lincoln, Lars and Clyde charge for Lynn and Loki, but the two pull out dodge balls simultaneously and hit them on Lars and Clyde respectively, sliding them to the separate sides of the field.

"Lars! Clyde!" Lincoln reacts in shock.

But Lars, by his whistle, declares, "Lars and Clyde, out! That leaves only Lincoln for the Mules!"

After getting hit on the head by a dodgeball, Clyde slowly regains consciousness to reveal Bebe calling out to him. "Clyde? Clyde? Clyde?" Bebe attempt to call him, to his aide.

"Bebe, is that you…?" Clyde utters.

"Are you okay?"

"Bebe, it's like looking an angel."

"I get that every time. Clyde, you need a pain reliever or sorts?"

"No Bebe, you relieve my pain."

"Oh no, time to get you to the infirmary."

Loki then notices Bebe carrying Clyde off the field. "Bebe, what are you doing?"

"Taking him to be cured," Bebe answers.

"But Bebe, you have a game to see."

"And you have more boys to hit on the head. Hmmphh." With that, Bebe brings Clyde under a tree and gives him an icepack for his head injury. Loki gets infuriated at the prospect that Bebe's attention is to Clyde and not to him.

"That's way harsh, dude," Lynn reacts, infuriated Loki further, "Chill man, we got only one Mule to defeat and victory is surely ours."

Lincoln cannot help but tremble in nervousness at the fact that he is the only remaining member of the Mules. Lars then approaches him for guidance.

"How come you are not injured?" Lincoln asks him.

"My body is impenetrable from pain, given how my soul walks in the world," Lars answers somberly, "Besides, I just get mildly hit by the elbow."

Lincoln then shifts back to his main concern. "What am I gonna do now?"

"Well, a better question is what will Lynn do now?" Lars replies.

Lincoln is perplexed at what Lars is talking about. As much as his knows, he is absolute that he is less athletically competent as Lynn, the true athlete. Winning ever competition is on his blood, as does his sister counterpart. However, he managed to find weak spots for Lynn in the past, as part of his role to keep the family at firm balance. He then realizes that if he can apply what he experienced with his sister, it can apply to his brother. But then, he understands that living with his brothers is like living with a house full of Lynns.

As the game resumes, Lincoln stands still to think of quick ways to defeat the opposing team. But when Lynn and Loki position to throw dodgeballs at his direction, the 11-year-old suddenly lets out some…gas, much to his embarrassment.

Of course, Lynn and Loki react laughably at this.

"You sure literally can't get the oven waiting. Hahaha," Loki teases mockingly.

Having Loki distracted gives Lincoln the opportunity to hit his brother with a ball. Sure enough, he does, making Lynn more infuriated and determined to defeat Lincoln.

Levi blows his whistle to pause the game but Lynn contradicts.

"Loki out! One-to-one round," Levi announces.

"Good. Let's start now!" Lynn insists.

"But I thought by game regulations you formulated…"

"My game! My way! Ahhh!" Lynn then charges to Lincoln and throws a barrage of balls at him.

"This is why you are no James Naismith," the 4-year-old child prodigy utters, then blows the whistle.

Meanwhile, Loki gets up from being knocked over. And soon, Bebe confronts him, kind of annoyed.

"Hey baby…" Loki utters blearily.

"Got eliminated because of a fart. How immature," Bebe chastises before walking away from him.

"Wait!" Loki catches up to her.

Back at the game, with Lynn's swift dodgeball skills, he is predictably going to claim the victory over his own invented game. However, Lincoln plans to distract Lynn.

"Hey Lynn! Ultimate champ!" Lincoln calls for his attention while dodging his throws, "What you gonna do after you win?"

"Well, perhaps you guys treat me to Gus' Games & Grub, or you guys serve as our mud sleds in our mudslide," Lynn brags.

"Good, good. Fascinating idea. If you gonna win."

"Of course, I'm gonna win. Why wouldn't the ultimate champ of everything not win this?"

"Oh ultimate champ of everything, huh? Does that include doing the dishes?"

"Well…yeah…but…"

"How about doing the laundry?"

"Is that even a contest?"

"Or spelling bee?"

"Okay, correction, I am a…"

"Or even drumming?"

"Heck yes, I know how to drum!"

And at his words, Lincoln gets a perfect vantage point and strikes a ball onto Lynn's chest, knocking him down and defeating him. And just to top it all, Lincoln swipes the enemy flag and places it on their base, signaling the Mules' victory.

"The Mules won!" Levi declares, "For the first time, Lynn is defeated!"

This monumental moment makes the brothers holler in victory and lift Lincoln in the process. "Lincoln! Lincoln! Lincoln! Lincoln!"

"Did Lincoln won?" a recovering Loki asks.

"He did brother! He did!" Loni confirms jollily.

"Well, it's kind of a win-win for me too. No more Thursday mudball!" the older brother cheers.

As the boys, Bebe and Clyde in a head cast walk off the field in celebration, Lincoln looks behind to see a defeated Lincoln moping on the mud field.

"Wait guys," Lincoln says, as he gets down from being carried and rushes to Lynn. He offers a hand to lift him up, but he declines.

"Sports is everything to me, bro. I can't live without it," Lynn bleats.

"Then prove you are more than just a sports lover," Lincoln encourages.

"How does that make sense?"

"I tell you what. Prove something else that you are better at, besides sports. And then we can let you play sports again."

"Oh yeah? I am in!"

Lincoln then executes his plans for Lynn.

The next night, Lincoln gathers Clyde, Luke, Lars and Lane in the attic to meet up for their performance in the winter dance. Luke sorts the instruments and hands a tambourine, a keytar and a harmonica to Clyde, Lars and Lane, respectively.

"Are we all here?" Lincoln asks.

"Yeah, had instruments for them," Luke replies.

"Good, we just need to wait for the 6th member to show up."

"And who that might be?" Clyde queries.

Then at a knock on the attic door, Lincoln answers, revealing it to be Lynn carrying a beatbox.

"Sorry bro. Tried to find my drumsticks in my sports chest. But I'm sure Lars locked it up heavy-handedly," Lynn says.

Lars grins at this. "I am sure you got unlock-y. Hahaha. Get it?" Lane jokes, to Lars' annoyance.

"Where do you get that beatbox?" Luke asks.

"Oh, saw this in our homeroom. I asked my friend where can I get drumsticks But I told him I have no drum set. So, he threw me this junk," Lynn answers.

"You can't call musical instruments junk."

"Okay, let's get this jamming running," Lincoln persuades, "Luke, help Lynn with drumming. Lars, sample a tune. Clyde and Lane, follow the beat and try to think of perfect ways to harmonize. Let's do this thing!"

Abruptly, Lane asks, "Uhmm what should we call ourselves?"


	13. A House Full of Louds

Lincoln can rejoice at the success he attained with securing his brothers' trust. Though their previous night's practice is kind of sophomore, Lincoln is optimistic of their progress. With that assurance, he carries that feeling as he goes to the school the next day. He hums the 80's favorite "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" by Starship as he struts by the hallway and proceeds to the gymnasium. There, he notices maintenance personnel preparing for the winter dance. Eventually, he is approached by the guidance counselor who gave him the singing gig for the winter dance.

"Lincoln, you're just in time to witness the magic," the guidance counsellor says with a dramatic stance."What magic?" Lincoln happily asks.

"Where we bring the beauty of a snowflake for the students to witness in every corner. I am just playing with you. Need to prepare for our presentations. Oh, speaking of which, is your band good?"

"Oh definitely. We are really packing it."

"Great! Now if you don't mind, I need you guys for technical rehearsals tomorrow."

This favor shocks Lincoln. "What?! Tomorrow?! But we…kinda….have tah…we just need to polish our numbers."

"That's good to hear. Now, I hope you considered the lineup we agreed on."

"What lineup?"

"You don't know? Your performance starts with an icebreaker number, goes with slow dances and ends with a climactic rock-and-roll finale."

"Oh, that one. Hehehe. You see, we're trying different genres to play. But we're wrapping things."

"Hopefully you do son. Now I'm expecting big."

"Will do."

"Great! See you tomorrow.""Yeah. Sure." With that, the guidance counselor goes back to supervising the arrangements for the dance. On the other side, Lincoln panics on the fact that his band is not yet ready to perform.

He exits the gym, only to stumble upon John, the kid who attempt to beat up Lars previously. The boy notices Lincoln and approaches him. "Hey, you're Lars' brother?" he threateningly asks. Lincoln tries to escape but John blocks his way. "Woah, woah, what's with the hurry there?" John in his greaser jacket utters as he pushes Lincoln by the lockers. "You know, thanks to you and your mopey brother, I got four months of detention. You got lucky when I didn't try to maul you over with a book. And now, I think I wanna do it."

John then punches Lincoln's gut, paralyzing him and dropping him to the floor. He then swipes Lincoln's backpack and drops his things to him.

Lincoln tries to crawl away from him as he heeds from the pain. "What do you want?" Lincoln piteously asks.

Seeing him crawl away prompts John to step on his fingers, causing pain for Lincoln. "Just the thing you need. You protected your brother, you cost me my girlfriend."

"So….what…?"

"You rightfully deserve this." After that, John grabs a book with a thick cover and readies to strike it on Lincoln's head, which can cause a severe head injury for Lincoln.

But suddenly, someone stops John by the arm. It is Lars who comes to Lincoln's aid. "If you hit my brother, you're going to hit me first," Lars affirms.

John then forcefully pushes Lars down with Lincoln. "Oh, you useless twerps. You think you can outrun me after what you have done to me!"

At that confrontation, someone answers, "They may not, but we can." It is revealed to be coming from Luke and Lane on the right side. "You get one pinch to our brother, we will pinch you harder," Luke warns.

"I bet you don't wanna really listen to your ten pinch wails. Hahaha. Get it?" Lane jokingly adds. On the left side, Leif and Lexx enter.

"You mess with our brothers…" Leif says."…you mess with all of us," Lexx finishes.

Then, the gym door behind opens, revealing it to be from Lynn, who glares at John. "Nobody there's pound and push my brother like that, except us, sure." And to add more panic for John is Loki and Loni in hall monitor uniforms, warning John of his threat if he dares cross the line. Realizing the Loud brothers finally cornered him, the bully slams the lockers and retreats. "You better be lucky your brothers arrived to save your sorry butts," John intimidatingly says, "But we're not done yet. That goes for all of you, Louds! Better come prepared."

As he walks out, the Loud brothers come to Lars and Lincoln's aid. "Bros! Are you okay?" they collectively ask.

"I'm fine," Lars confirms, "But Lincoln's badly hurt."

"We need a nurse now!" Loki insists. They then bring him to the clinic where he is treated from his wounds, his punched gut and his aching fingers. Gladly, they are not that severe. Still, the brothers stay with Lincoln in his clinic bed to aid their brother.

"You okay dude?" Luke asks."A little pain by my chest, or my stomach, and my fingers too," Lincoln replies.

"More ice pack will do," Loni suggests, bringing two icepacks to the pain-stricken parts of his body.

Then out of nowhere, Lars utters, "Why can't he ever stop? He already took away my love. Now he threatens Lincoln for him."

"Who? The stud with the greaser jacket, the shades and the stupid haircut?" Lynn queries his brother.

"John? Yeah…John," Lars confirms.

"Oh. That's guy's a complete jerk. One time he tried to take over the line in the cafeteria. He took the place in front of me. I tried to warn him, but he is that tough."

"Why didn't the school warned him or something?" Luke addresses.

"Just because he is the principal's favorite nephew," Lexx answers.

"Really?" Luke responds.

"Uh-huh. I saw him during practice for our boy model fashion show," Lexx shares, "He kept approaching Principal Frye, giving out tips or something, or perhaps power-taking advice. Probably something out of his bullying schemes."

"Why won't the school notice it?" Lincoln butts in.

"Because he's an A student in my class," Lars replies, "Don't know how he became an A student. But when he recites, he was really smart."

"Ohh. Never mind," Lincoln sighs as he leans to the bed.

"Don't worry about it bro," Loki assures, "We won't let any principal's favorite nephew beat the heck out of our brother."

"We promise bro, even with a niece, we will beat him up," Loni adds.

"Uhmm I think you literally got it the wrong way, Loni," Loki comments on Loni's misunderstood words."The point is we're here for you bro," Leif reiterates.

"Yeah, we got your back bro to straighten things out," Lane adds, "Hey! Then that makes us the 'back-straight boys'. Hehehe. Get it?" This makes some of the boys groan. "What? It's a good band name."Feeling the trust and assurance he needs, Lincoln utters out of gratefulness, "Thanks bros. Glad I can count on a great band of brothers like you."

But in a non-sequitur fashion, Lexx lets out some gas. "Ahhh glad this moment came. Needed to let it out."

"Are you literally kidding me bro?" Loki says, "That's not how you let that out. But this." Loki then out of an urge releases his gases, sounding like a mic static.

Lynn enters the scenes and braggingly utters, "Nahh-uh-uh. You do this." He then lets out a fart that sounds like a motorcycle. And at that signal, the boys release their Dutch ovens simultaneously.

However, Lincoln opts not to join along. But the boys insist, "Lincoln?"

"Uhmmmm…" Lincoln stutters out of pressure. And finally, without control, Lincoln lets out a series of fart that literally sound testing a car engine or more of a trombone. Feeling ashamed, he says, "Sorry. Got my stomach running."

Nevertheless, the Loud brothers laugh at this out of their amusement. And even though this moment is made out of flatulence, Lincoln feels contented and joyous that he gets to bond with his brothers in one happy but sappy moment.

 _Down to the last three chapters…_


	14. Levi

**Greetings guys! Back again in the writing board after an abrupt vacation, which I need for the holidays in New Years. Last year was a blast, and it ended with a blast. More stories to publish and update (especially my supposed Christmas special) for months to come. And as an offering for the New Year, here is the latest update to "Real Boys". Hope you enjoy! And I am wishing you all a prosperous New Year of 2017!**

* * *

After Lincoln's trip to the clinic, he and his brothers set off on a joyride back home. The Vanzilla was spacious to accommodate nine brothers for an all-out enjoyable ride. Lincoln is still recovering from his punched gut and stubbed fingers. Still, that did not stop him from having a quality time with his fun brothers jamming to "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen (in probably the same fashion that Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar had done), as they take the turnpike on their way home.

Altogether, they sing that iconic rock anthem in their own over-the-top fashion and headbopping, especially in the lines, " _Bismillah! We will not let you go (let me go)."_ At this point, Lincoln truly appreciates his brothers showing many quirks, even though they tend to go crazy around him. Just seeing his brothers go over the top is kind of a weird relief for him, especially since he also has crazy sisters.

Luke then spouts the final line, " _Any way the wind blows_."

"That was awesome, eyy bros?" Loki comments from their enjoyable jam.

"What's next in the playlist?" Lynn asks.

Loni then gets Loki's phone being plugged to the car radio and browses through his playlist. "It's 'Perfect' by One Direction. Wow, they are really perfect."

"Ughh, why do you have that song in your playlist?" Lynn asks.

"Come on, it's for me and Bebe Bear," Loki answers.

"What a softie you are, Loki," Lexx reacts, "Try finding something adequate."

Loni continue to find the perfect song for the boys to listen to. "Okay, why do you have this in your phone?" he wonders, and then plays "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton. Obviously, the boys reacted heavily on this choice.

"Woah bro, what's a chick song doing in your phone?" Leif asks.

"Hey, stop it!" Loki insists.

"Seems Bebe Bear hijacked your phone," Luke teases.

"Ooh. That must have been a one trick phony. Hehehe. Get it?" Lane adds to the fun.

"Dude, that joke came from a thousand miles. Hehehe. Know you get it?" Luke mocks in response.

"Okay, okay, guys, come on," Loki utters as he swipes the phone from Loni. "It's a guilty pleasure. I bet you guys would take time to listen to it." But the Loud boys deny his claim. Loki coaxes them to let the song play, "Come on! _Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound_."

"Skip that teeny rubbish!" Lexx demands in spoiled fashion.

"I could understand a guilty pleasure," Luke shares, "I mean I like 'Wheels on the Bus' once." Luke's testimony makes the boys face at him in disbelief. "When I was little. Obviously," he clarifies.

"I still listen to 'Ice, Ice Baby'…just because it's in the Edwina soundtrack," Lars randomly shares.

"Ehh fine, if you don't want it, here's one will do," Loki says as he plays a different song.

"Not saying we don't like it," Leif emphasizes, "Just saying you have better songs to play than that.

Finally, the rock song "Fox on the Run" by Sweet plays, capturing the boys' attention.

"Woah bro, is that…?" Luke asks, recognizing one of Sweet's hits.

"Literally yes," Loki confirms.

"Ohh yeah, I love this jam!" Luke remarks.

"Hey, isn't this the song from that trailer?" Lexx asks.

"But we're in a car, not a trailer," Loni mistakenly implies, as they boys are about to jam to the first lines.

"Lincoln, are you alright?" Lars asks his brother in concern.

"Yeah, just need my body to rest," Lincoln says.

"How about your fingers? Or your chest?"

"Relax Lars. It's not like I got involved in a car accident or something."

"Better not think about that. The tragedy still buried in the subconscious has find its way unearthed."

"Not gonna happen this time, Lars."

As the boys hit a cloverleaf, Loki suggests something, "Hey bros, what you say we hit the highway mall?"

With that, the boys cheer to confirm that they should stop by at the mall.

"I thought we hate the mall," Lincoln wonders.

"Nahh, we're literally doing something else in the mall," Loki answers as he steps on the accelerator, driving to their destination.

As they arrive in the mall, each of the Loud boys do their own thing: Loki takes a trip to the supermarket for supplies and also to try out the free samples, Loni digs like a dog through a pile of clothes in a clearance sale, Luke tries out a _Guitar Hero_ -like arcade and competes with a little boy, Lane does pranks and makes fun of people inside a food expo, Lynn takes a trip to the sporting goods shop where he 'tests' newly released sports balls by actually playing them, Lars aimlessly watches the fountains while he unintentionally scares off children, and the twins Leif and Lexx barge through a toy store and play with the toy guns. Lincoln on the other hand takes his time to visit a record store and check out vinyl records he can get inspiration of.

"Great. Winter dance is this Saturday, and I have no idea what we can perform," Lincoln utters.

"Then you should try looking for inspiration on this OST," someone responds, showing him an OST of the movie _Sing Street_.

" _Sing Street_? What's it about?" Lincoln asks.

"Nahh. Just an average boy forming a rock-and-roll band to astonish a rebellious runaway," that someone answers, "Has the romantic clichés that this cerebral-conscious specimen cannot occupy."

"Wait, the way you explain this. Are you…?" Lincoln then faces the person who recommends the _Sing Street_ OST, who turns out to be Levi.

"Indeed I am, beneficent brethren," Levi claims, scaring Lincoln.

"Sheesh, Levi, don't do that," Lincoln reacts, "And are you turning into Lucy now in this dimension?"

"Negative. There is a scientific explanation why I ended up in this destination about on a specific 10 seconds and 15 millisecond travel time," Levi clarifies.

"And that is?"

Levi then pulls out the dimension-travelling watch that Lincoln asked him to repair and unleashes a portal. "Holy moley! Is that?"

"Affirmative, Lincoln. The portal to your dimension," Levi assures, "Now you could return to your respective dimension."

"Awesome!" Lincoln bellows, "Wait, is this it? No other hurdles? Just pass through?"

"Well, there is an essential note that need of your knowledge."

"What is it Levi?"

"The watch is of two-times function. I used it once, and the final usage is yours. I have the coordinates to your dimension slated in the watch. So once you enter the threshold, you will arrive at your house. But you need to enter in T-minus 30 seconds."

"Okay." Lincoln then steps in front of the portal, assessing if he should returns to his dimension or not. He indeed still has one more responsibility to take care of. So, Levi's abrupt discovery is an ill-timed happening. "I don't know if it's the right time."

"Your choice, Lincoln," Levi emphasizes, "This is what the strenuous labor builds up to. Do you really wish to see your sisters again for a long time?"

Levi's claims just pressure Lincoln more and more. Although he truly wishes to be reunited with his beloved sisters, Lincoln had found his place among his brothers. Though, with that, he is just bummed that he has one more thing to fulfill before he leaves.

10 seconds sweep in, and Levi calls out to him, "What are you waiting for? For daylight to burn itself? For your further information, Lincoln, the sun will continue to emit solar weather that can cause to burn itself."

"And what happens if I don't get back to my sisters?"

"I don't know. You're trapped here forever, I presume."

"You presume?"

"Just make up your mind."

Pressure packs within Lincoln. And as the final second hits, the 11-year-old finally makes his decision, to Levi's stun. And no one in the record store gets to witness this, not even the oblivious store clerk.

Meanwhile, back to the brothers, Loki waits for his brothers to arrive by the food court. He bought body spray and other style products for men from the supermarket. Though, his escapades there are best to be kept to himself, since they are so childish.

Luke eventually arrives, holding Lexx and Leif each on his side. He grumbles out of this to Loki.

"What literally happened to you? Or to them?" Loki asks.

"Spotted these two snooping in the toy center, where I supposed to get my first price for my love," Luke answers, "But thanks to the two idiots here, I cut myself off the line to stop them. And my price was lost."

"It was Lexx here who took all our savings and spent in on a nerf gun," Leif complains.

"Ohh…I can't hear you Leif. What is that you say?" Lexx mockingly says, and then shoots a nerf bullet to him, "Sorry I was busy being overwhelmed with using this gun."

This annoys Lexx, which causes him wanting to vent his irritation to his twin brother. But Luke is able to stop them by pulling their wedgies.

"Stop it morons!" Luke warns, "Or you don't want me to hang you by the towel rack." Lexx gets aggravated at Luke's warnings. "I actually I enjoy this."

"Hehehe. Good one bro," Loki remarks, "Try literally shaking them." Then Luke shakes the twins by the band of their underwear like grocery items in a plastic bag. "Nice."

Lane then appears and witnesses Luke annoying his brothers. "Gee Luke, looks like you gone so wedgie with your style. Hehehe. Get it?"

"Nice one, dude," Luke comments as Lexx shoots at his face, making the former release him to a drop but rip out the band of his brief.

"Oh, dang it! Ripped pants here!" Lexx utters with his face buried on the ground.

Lynn and Lars then enter the scene, with Lynn suddenly wearing a beret and handling a golf club, and Lars carrying a golf bag, as if he is Lynn's caddy.

"What's with the hat Lynn?" Loki asks, "And why do you have a golf club?"

"It's called a beret, Loki," Lynn answers kind of snobbishly like a rich guy, "Got this for free in the sports shop. I tested the clerks if they know a thing or two about the sports featured in the store. And surprise, they are shocked that this face got knowledge. And in exchange, they gave me these golf stuff for free. And men, I haven't played golf before and I want to."

"Maybe, you shouldn't go easy on that," Lane says, "You don't want be en-golfed in being hole-y full of yourself. Hehehe. Get it?" This annoys the rest of the brothers.

"That wordplay merits a silent treatment," Lars utters.

"Why Lars? Did I putt you in a bad mood? Hehehe. Get it?" Lane responds in more laughter.

"Okay, that's one's admittedly clever," Lars comments.

After that, Loni finally arrives with five shopping bags and hands one to Loki. "Got everything I need. Here's your sweater," he utters.

Loki then takes the sweater from the bag, revealing the kind of ugly design it has.

"Loni, what's this?" Loki interrogates his brother.

"That's what I got from the clearance sale," Loni confirms.

"Clearance sale? And what I got is an ugly Christmas sweater?"

"Well, at least it's a sweater with snowflake designs. At least it's not a Thanksgiving sweater." Loki gets turned off by Loni's understanding.

Finally, in a hint of surprise, Lincoln and Levi arrive to the group.

"Hey guys! Look who I just spotted in the mall!" Lincoln greets the boys, making them shocked at Levi's sudden arrival.

"Levi! What are you doing here?!" the boys ask in unison.

"No. Better question. How did you get here?" Lynn asks.

"There is some sort of logical explanation for my questionable arrival but it needs a deep theoretical deduction to figure that out, if you are willing to divulge yourself into," Levi explains.

"Well, I don't need to, whatever you just said," Lynn responds.

"Okay, Levi's here. Now, what you say a Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet?" Loki asks.

"Yeah!" the boys respond in excitement as they rush to the food kiosk where the buffet is. Lincoln and Levi are left behind, contemplating the decision Lincoln made.

"You do know you are trapped in this dimension with those Neanderthals," Levi utters despondently.

"I know. For the better," Lincoln responds, "I mean who will be here to control them, like you said."

"Point taken. I mean there is another way to recreate the portal, the more elaborate scheme, definitely."

"Really?"

"I want to but recent observations confirm it to be implausibility."

"Why not? I thought you are the multi-level intelligent Levi who can create out-of-this-world contraptions that merits recognition from the scientific community."

"I am multi-level intelligent alright. But the community just could not credit a 4-year-old sophomore who believes that nuclear energy can be enhanced for water guns."

"Now is your time to prove it."

"And why would I suppose to do that?"

"Because I controlled our brothers, including you."

Thanks to Lincoln's defense, Levi gets stunned at that revelation. He ponders further of the impact that the Lincoln from the other dimension had brought to the family.

"Hey Linc! Levi! Aren't you coming here? There's lobster in the menu!" Loki calls his brothers.

"Please think about it, Levi. You have been a great brother to me. We can't quit now," Lincoln says as he proceeds to the buffet queue, leaving Levi behind.

Levi deeply thinks about choosing either to move on with the original plans to recreate the portal or not. As a scientist, it should be cardinal rule not to stick to one conclusion to a hypothesis, for there are numerous answers to get from it. Still, he is undeterred to continue, not due to the mishaps of the experiment but of Lincoln's illogical choice of staying with the brothers.

Yet, he eventually sees the essence when Lincoln offers a hand to Levi to take him to the line. "Wanna come?" With no hesitation, Levi takes Lincoln's hand as they walk to the lunch line, as if Levi is really a 4-year-old being guided by his bigger brother. That certain emotion that comes from it occupies most of Levi's cerebral space during their lunch, making this a turning point for Levi.


	15. A House Full of Boys

After Lincoln's crucial decision to stay behind, he lets time pass to bond with his brothers. And though the prospects of getting back to his own dimension range from zero to one, he still sets his optimism high, for the better. As he is, it is better not to stoop to hopelessness. They are in the food court anyway, with Chinese all-you-can-buffet being served to them. Automatically, it is sort of a win for Lincoln. Though Levi is baffled but moved by his decision.

As the two get their serving, Lincoln offers something special for Levi. "Fortune cookie?" he asks.

"I don't believe in fortune. Eastern hemisphere belief is not an option for this anomaly," Levi responds, presumably to hide the fact that he is still bewildered at Lincoln's choice.

"You can just eat the cookie," Lincoln stresses.

"Fair enough," Levi replies. Then, he rips the cookie apart and takes one half to his mouth. He also inexplicably glances at the fortune inside it, which says "Time will blow you away". "Such vague words," he comments, "Who even writes for fortune cookies anyway?"

"Beats me. Why don't you ask the chefs?" Lincoln replies as they both head to their tables. One of the chefs of the buffet kiosk overhears the two and glares at them in secret.

"Hey bros! Over here!" Loni directs the two to a special room where gatherings usually take place. Lincoln and Levi arrive there to witness the boys gorging on their buffet meal like little boys would do. Their meal by the way consists of stir-fried noodles, wonton soup, egg rolls, steamed meaty dumplings, sweet and sour chicken, Peking duck and fried rice. Neither of them considers Chinese dining etiquette, as evidenced by their poor using of chopsticks. Instead, they just do their own gimmick: Loki texting while throwing his food, Loni trying to use the chopsticks but failing, Luke using the chopsticks as drumsticks, Lane doing tricks with the noodles and the egg rolls, Lynn playing with his food as if playing baseball, Lars forming sculptures with the served food, and Lexx and Leif outdoing each other with their food fight.

"Well, welcome to the jungle," Levi says.

"I know," Lincoln reacts. When it comes to the out-of-control nature of his brothers (and even his sisters), the 11-year-old middle child would tend to work out with the situation. Being the middle child means being the one to sustain the fulcrum of the relationship of his siblings. That includes accepting their very nature. With that, Lincoln thinks of the best possible option to gain his brothers' trust and to cooperate with him on taking him back to his own dimension. "Wait, Levi, should we tell them?"

"It goes without saying that they will be doubtful of your claims," Levi asserts, "But you are Lincoln. You can find your way out of our messes."

"Right, and I just got the thing."

"Instantaneous begrudging tendency and distaste on saccharine durations aside, I hope you can pull this through."

"Thanks bro! Glad I can count on you." With that, Lincoln fist pumps Levi as a sign of their trust to each other. Though initially baffled, Levi feels proud and contented that this Lincoln actually cares for them.

Levi gets hit by Leif throwing food, urging him to do the same.

"Hah! Direct hit to Levi!" Leif utters with full energy.

"Oh you rascal!" Levi vents, "I will show you a direct hit." He then forms a ball out of the rice, noodles and dumplings and throws it to Leif. However, he dodges it immediately, making the ball hit at Loki.

"Hah! You missed!" Leif jeers.

"Okay, who did that?" Loki infuriatingly asks, prompting the boys to point at Levi. "So Levi, this is how you literally want things to go?" With that, Loki joins along by forming his own food ball and throwing it to Levi. However, Luke happens to pass by that direction. "Hey dudes, what's going…?" he says before the food ball hits on his face. The boys laugh at this sudden hit as the rice and its toppings drip from Luke's face.

"Hahaha bro! You shouldn't have wok that way. Hehehe. Get it?" Lane mocks his brother.

Out of revenge, Luke then throws wonton soup at him, making Lane wail from its mild heat. "I soup-pose you didn't see that coming. Hehehe. Get it bro?"

Suddenly, Lane spits out a wonton dumpling to his brother's face. "Hahaha. I knew you were wonton for more puns. Hehehe," he teases evenly.

Of course, Luke prompts to act in retaliation by throwing a spicy drumstick to his face. However, Lane continues to laugh, making him bend his body and leading for drumstick to hit on Lynn's face.

"Ahhh hot! Hot! Hot!" Lynn screams as he feels the spicy sensation of the chicken part on his face. The boys laugh at his detriment, prompting Lynn to initiate the fun.

"So, is this what you want, boys?" Lynn confronts them. Then, as he grasps his buffet food with his bare hands, and in the tradition of John Belushi in Animal House, he bellows, "Food fight!"

With that, all Loud brothers leave their good behaviors behind and throw their food at each other, and gorge on some morsels as well. Lincoln, meanwhile, dodges them and goes to the table quietly to eat his food. Though he is bewildered with the playful nature of his brothers, he just feels like finishing the scrumptious Chinese food that was served to him.

Suddenly, Lars lands on the table in front of Lincoln after being thrown like someone being blast off in a battlefield.

"Lars, are you okay?" Lincoln approaches his brother in concern.

"Lincoln, you must…protect…the rice paddies," Lars utters as if they are dying words.

"What are you talking about?" Lincoln wonders."We must protect the valley, or darkness will swallow the light forever," the 8-year-old goth kid spouts as he inexplicably sports out a conical farmer's hat, a silk robe and two chopsticks to fend off his brothers, as if he was a warrior.

Then, as if Lars' bit is not much non-sequitur, Lexx throws egg rolls at Lincoln's face to distract him. "Will you stop that, Lexx?" Lincoln insists as he gets hit by the rolls, "Your spring rolls are not match to me. What you're gonna do now?"

"This one, bro," Lexx jeers, just as Leif lassos Lincoln's leg with a string of noodles and ties it around his body to hang him by the ceiling.

"Gotcha bro!" Leif evilly says, as he shares a high-five with his twin brother Lexx."You do know I'm tied up with noodles, right?" Lincoln stresses to them.

"Yeah, so?" Lexx replies.

True enough, Lincoln's deductions are correct as the noodle string gets instantly loose, dropping Lincoln to the table and landing head first to his plate. "Hahaha! How's it hanging there, loser?" Lexx jabs.

"Should…have…know…" Lincoln utters hazily, getting dizzy from his fall. The twins laugh at his fall, which instigates for Lincoln to join in the fight. With a glare, he takes the noodle string that he got tied up in the first place, then lassos both of the twins and throws his rice to their face. There, he unleashes his extreme playful side, nothing like he experienced before. Truly, he becomes one of the boys.

Thankfully, with the door shut, nobody is able to notice their tirade. Well, except for the chef earlier, who spots the boys throwing his creation at each other. "The American dream lied to us," he utters to himself.

After a while, the boys tidy up slightly the room and go back for more rounds of the buffet. When their stomachs get full, they rest at the comfy seats of their tables and let time pass.

"This is the life, eyy boys," Loki enunciates.

"You said it, bro," Leif agrees.

Lynn is then heard playing the chopsticks like drumsticks. It is just a way to hone amateur drumming expertise for their winter dance performance.

"You seemed to be good now in drumming," Lars reacts.

"Need to, bro," Lynn emphasizes, "Did you know I took online drumming tutorials all night for this?"

"Just to prove you are more than just a sports champ?"

"Exactly. More like a drumming champ."

"I don't know if that silly word exists."

"It is in my book. Did you know that movie _Whiplash_?"

"Where the boss of Peter Parker yells at this drummer?"

"That one. That one is a sports movie. And it has the coach being a loud jerk that the player needs to prove better. This is the way I can prove better."

"And you might want to start it with using drumsticks instead of chopsticks," Lars stresses comically, "Seriously Lynn. It's like using a sword to chop broccoli. And I mean the sword that can capture the souls of its victims."

"Working progress, dude."

After that exchange, Luke opens up to Loki, "Hey Loki, what is up with you and Bebe so far? I heard you are gonna prom-pose to her."

"Well, it's a secret. Need to literally plan for a huge setup," Loki shares, "Like a flash mob, maybe."

"But isn't it too early to ask her to the prom?" Lynn asks.

"Not if this guy, the grand romantic, can't help it," the elder Loud brother brags, "She said she wants spontaneous. I will literally give her spontaneous."

"Wow, I didn't know you can give spontaneous," Loni reacts, "Where can I buy it? How much it costs?" Loki just rolls his eyes at Loni's misunderstanding.

"Speaking of which, when are you gonna ask her?" Luke asks.

"Hmmm possibly in the winter dance this Saturday," Loki answers.

Hearing that makes Lincoln drops his chopsticks as he is about to feed noodles to his mouth, and for the brothers to hoot in a teasing way. It is a sheer coincidence (or contrivance) that Loki is going to propose to an event where he will be performing. "Oh, you're really going huge," Lexx comments.

"I know right. That's why I'm literally nervous right now," Loki shares.

"Well, you shouldn't be because Lincoln will sing for you," Lane says.

"Lincoln?" Loki reacts with a giggle of how ridiculous it is. "Wow, you sure are a joker, Lane. You know, if I were to even ask for a wedding singer, Lincoln would literally be the last person I would call. Hahaha."

"No, for reals, dude," Luke backs up.

"What are you talking about?" Loki asks, trying to hold his laughter.

"Lincoln is going to perform at the winter dance," Levi indicates.

"Wait, this must be a joke or something. Lincoln is going to perform ONSTAGE for the winter dance?"

Lincoln then steps up to confirm to his dear brother. "Yes Loki. Why don't you check the schedule yourself?" He shows him a yet-to-be-released flyer for the dance, which indicates Lincoln and his "band" will perform for the finale.

"No…no…you can sing? And you guys are performing with him as a band?" Loki interrogates his brother out of confusion, "I don't know if that can slip."

"Why bro? You're gonna make us get band? Hehehe. Get it?" Lane reacts.

"Though I gotta say, sounds legit more than the fact that our president is a loudmouthed car salesman."

"Yeah, and there's one more thing."

"What next? You are some kind of being from another dimension and somehow, you literally got moved here because you don't feel like staying in your own." The boys laugh at this with ridicule.

"Yeah bro, that would be a hair raisin," Loni laughs along.

"Or more like raised in a barn. Hehehe. Get it?" Lane adds. The boys really do not buy far-fetched facts like that, especially Loki. Though even the rest can adjust to non-sequitur facts like that, the latter might need to get used to it.

"Why yes," Lincoln answers straightforward, "I am from another dimension."

Despite Lincoln's confident revelation, the boys, excluding Levi, still heckle at this.

Lane admits to Lincoln, while trying to hold on to his laughs, "You know bro, you're an effective joker than I am with what ridiculous stuff you're throwing at us."

And immediately, Lincoln pulls out the photograph he had with his sisters and shows it to his brothers. Loni is able to spot this first, befuddled at what he's saying. With others following suit, they all have their jaws drop of the imagery that Lincoln presented to them – their female doppelgangers.

"No, this can't be literally true," Loki utters in disbelief, "There's a girl version of us?"

"Woah, I didn't know I have long hair," Loni mistakenly points out Leni's appearance from the photograph.

"And you got melons here," Lane comments.

"Melons? I thought they are in the chiller," Loni replies, making Lane facepalm.

"I didn't even know that a girl me would have hair like that," Luke comments, "So cool."

"It looks like I am looking at my own picture," Leif notes, "This girl knows stuff."

"Uncanny resemblance," Lars adds, "I can feel the torment of my counterpart."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, but how can we know that these girls are not just posing as us, Lincoln?" Lexx suspects, "Also, does this fairy princess meant to look like me?"

"Verify, Levi," Loki instructs.

"Lincoln showed me that photograph before. It is true. Those are his sisters," Levi reiterates.

"How is that even possible?" Lynn raises his curiosity.

"It's a bit complicated for your testosterone-filled nerve space," Levi sarcastically implies.

"Well, even if we belief that he is from another dimension or whatever cockamamie, what are you even literally doing here in the first place?" Loki earnestly asks his brother.

With a sigh, Lincoln sincerely confesses, "It's because I think it would be cooler to have brothers instead of sisters. So, I went to this dimension to feel what it's like. And I love it. I love you guys. But I miss my sisters. And I really wanna go back."

Being the playful fellow they are, the boys do not know how to react to Lincoln's situation. Clearly the fact that he is from another dimension is baffling enough for them that they do not know how to respond. Regardless, confessing that he misses his sisters makes Lincoln miss them even more. But that won't stop adamancy in the heart amongst the brothers.

But in a surprising turn, Levi backs up Lincoln by encouraging the men, "Brethren, the day has been surreal enough for us all. We can all agree on that."

"Yeah, true. I am not even what's sure real. Hehehe. Get it?" Lane backs Levi's conclusion with a pun, making the brothers groan.

"Continue," Lars insists.

Levi then continues, "But tell me otherwise that nothing changed from anyone of us for the past few days. It is all the presence of a foreign specimen that placed us in this pedestal. Lynn was defeated for the first time. Our bathroom is consistently clean for the first time. And we became nicer for the first time. Argue with me that you didn't observe that." However, no one is able to verify that fact that they all have to agree to what Levi claims. "Lincoln proved his worth here. Now let's prove ours now."

Despite a rousing speech, the brothers are still adamant. Eventually, Lars stands up to show his support. "You know, because of you Lincoln, I finally realized I am never alone at school. And you also help me realize that Lynn can be beaten."

"Hey!" Lynn reacts.

Lars continues, "For that, I am with you." In response, Lincoln smiles from Lars' testimony.

"Me too. You rescued me from embarrassment," Leif joins in, "You can count on me, dude."

"Yeah, me too," Loni follows along, "I thought that you might need a wardrobe artist. Though I don't paint."

"Why not? You showed me how you rock," Luke adds up to the pack, "And it's awesome."

"Me too," Lane shares and gets involved, "It really means a lot that you took the prank for me. So I have'ta prank you. Hehe. Just kidding."

"If my twin brother agrees so, I so too," Lexx responds, "Who needs servants when I have you bros?"

"Uhmm okay," Lincoln reacts.

Then suddenly, Lynn rubs Lincoln's hair from behind. "Why not too? Man, because of you, I never thought I could be a champ to anything other than sports, since yeah, I am a solid sports champ already. Well, except for hopscotch."

With almost all brothers in support to Lincoln, all heads turn to Loki. "Well, Loki?" Loni asks.

Before he can answer, someone comes knocking by the door. Loki answers it to see that the restaurant manager is knocking at them.

"Uhmm sir, I have to offer you the bill now since you must leave the premises right away," the snotty manager with a posh French accent warns them. "This room will be occupied by 5. So I suggest you tidy up, you and your…varmints there, and leave now."

"Sorry. We're really having a legitimate family moment," Loki replies.

"Well, I'm sorry for ruining your family moment. I don't know if it has to consist of food littered around," the manager banters, then walks out, "Why don't you get real boys?! I urge you to leave now."

After that, Loki shuts the door and goes back to Lincoln, who has somewhat got inspiration for a band name.

"Man, what a jerk," Lexx comments.

But back to Loki, after moments of reflection from the first instance that Lincoln was nice to him to the part where he helped his brother from a bully, the Loud brother confirms his allegiance to Lincoln. "I gotta say, you literally surprised me. Now tell us what we can do."

Finally, with the full support of his brothers, Lincoln feels secured that he has his brothers with him. With that, he rallies his brothers, "Never knew I would get this far, but thank you bros. All of you. Now, winter dance's on Saturday and we have one shot to recreate the portal back to my dimension. We need to work together. Now who's with me?"

The brothers then answer in unison, "I!"

"Great! Now let's get real boys," Lincoln utters.

And to cap off this chapter, Lane comments, "Wait. Is that supposed to be our band name?"

"What?" a dumbfounded Lincoln reacts.


	16. The Real Boys Part 1

Now back at home, having gained their utmost trust, Lincoln huddles his brothers to the living room and lays his master plan. With the help of Levi's precise planning measures and probability for another dimension-hopping portal to be created, he provides them a blueprint of their plan. The reason why it has to be placed on a blueprint, we'll never know.

"Okay guys, gather around," Lincoln calls his brothers, "Now, Levi has it another chance to redo the portal. But he needs our help.""The dimension portal creator is really schematic. Let me handle the science. I just need some muscles, some power and some defense," Levi proposes.

In response, Boy Lynn stands up on the table and boasts, "Okay, count me in. You got everything what you looking for, except smarts.""Not you, you ingrate," Levi corrects him mockingly, "Let me explain.""Awww…" Lynn utters as Levi continues.

"Okay, since the electric company already gave me a warning, I must need another effective power source that can generate 1.21 gigawatts, and with a power converter, I can gain power for another portal to be created," the 4-year-old child prodigy explains.

But Loki has doubts for an obvious reason. "Wait, literally hold on there, Levi. 1.21 gigawatts? Doesn't that sound familiar?" he comments.

"What? Are you thinking this as just another gobbledygook Hollywood schlock?" Levi asks.

"Oooohh…oooohhh," Loni excitedly raises his hand, as if this is a school recitation. "Pick me. I think I know the answer."

"What is it, Loni?"

"I think that sounds familiar. It sounds like coming from Levi's mouth," Loni dumbly deduces, to the annoyances of the brothers.

"Okay, we kinda got off topic," Lincoln utters, "Now, if we can help Levi generate 1.21 gigawatts…wait, that really sounds familiar from somewhere."

"Look, it's either you swallow this fact, or we could just slow down this operation."

"Now we're talking. Alright here's the big deal." With that, Lincoln glosses over his plan. Levi's findings deduces that a 1.21 gigawatt current can be generated through a high intensity of sound from loud occurrences, like concerts and jet plane takeoffs. Which, for their case, can be accumulated from the winter dance. Though theoretically speaking, it is implausible to amass such energy from sound sources like that. But with Levi's mad science, it is not impossible to see why.

For the operation prior to the dance, Lincoln assigns Lexx and Leif to sneak in to the school auditorium to gain access to the power source of the auditorium and plug in a wire connecting to the portal creator, while the band (consisting of Lincoln, Luke, Lane, Lars and Lynn) distract the staff there as they go through technical rehearsals. On the day itself, Luke helps the two sneak in via the rack case for their instruments.

"Alright, coast is clear dudes," Luke signals them, as he opens the case containing the two.

"Finally! Fresh air after Leif's Dutch ovens here!" Lexx complains.

"What is it with your babbling? I thought you tolerate my Dutch ovens," Leif argues.

"But you said you can do better Dutch ovens," Lexx points out, "I have the better Dutch ovens!"

"Oh yeah?!" Leif counters.

But Luke stops them from arguing. 'Will you shut your mouths, you two? Do you want us to get caught?" He then hands them a blueprint of the auditorium, in accordance to Lincoln's plan. "Okay, here's the map of the stage. The power source's upstairs. Here's the wire jack connecting to Levi's machine. Just slot it in to the power box."

"Ahhhhh how we supposed to do that?" Lexx asks, "We are just 6."

Then, Luke hands them a dummy guide for the that Levi designated for them, as the operation merits a need of knowledge about electronics.

"Is this serious?" Leif complains, "You know I get to fix stuff you know."

"But do you know how to rearrange electrical stuff?" Luke asks.

"Uhhh…" Leif utters dumbly, making it obvious that he has not yet handled electronic components.

"Knew it. Just follow Levi's instructions, and don't get caught."

With that, Leif salutes to him, and the twins take the wire and head to the control room where the main electrical switches are placed. Entering the room is easy for the boys, since the door was unlocked. But as Leif opens the power box with a screw driver, they learn that connecting the wire there is never that easy as expected.

"Uhmm you can do this one, Leif. Right?" Lexx reaches his brother in concern.

"Ahhh…I just saw dad fix our toy cars in one piece," Leif says, "I never saw him fix one like this. What did Levi say?"

Lexx then opens Levi's guide for them, which shows the twins how to plug in the machine to the power box without detection, using elementary stick figure drawings to direct them easily. "Really impressive, Levi," Lexx reacts halfheartedly.

"Well, here goes nothing," Leif utters.

"You do exactly know what you are doing, Leif?"

"If there's one thing that dad told me about fixing stuff with electricity is to wear rubber gloves." Leif then pulls out his emergency rubber gloves and, using Leiv's guide that he finds too supercilious, dismantles half of the power box to plug in the Levi's wire, making it obscure from other wiring.

But suddenly, several electricians are about to climb to the room.

"We got company, Leif! Hurry up!" Lexx alerts his brother.

"Need more time, Lexx! We need a distraction," Leif persuades.

Frustrated, Lexx reluctantly takes initiative by distracting with whatever is in the room. Since the room is basically the maintenance's room where the lockers are, it is filled with staff paraphernalia. But fortunately, Lexx finds the perfect distraction. He then picks it up with sheer disgust in his face, silently opens the door and sends the distraction out, which is a flying cockroach, which sends the two technicians away and screaming like little girls.

"Yeah, you better run!" Lexx sneers, "Note to self, don't pick up disgusting bugs."

"Almost there, just need a notch," Leif updates his brother, "Why don't you find a way out of here?"

As he says that, Lexx suddenly spots a way out – the air vents.

While that is going on, Lincoln, Luke, Lars, Lane and Lynn fix their blocking with their instruments. As they are directed by the guidance counselor organizer, Clyde suddenly enters the auditorium in such hurry.

"Sorry guys I am late. I have to dodge these goons with the greaser jackets," Clyde says at the top of his breath, "Man, I didn't know that greaser jackets are still a thing."

"What did one of them look like?" Lars asks.

"One has a hair like Elvis Presley's and looks like a dopey version of that guy from _Grease_ ," Clyde exposits to them.

"John. He's still around," Lars assumes, "We need to lose him before the dance."

"Wait, isn't that guy like 15 or something?" Luke asks.

"He's acts like 15, and has friends who are 15," Lars tells them, "It ain't good if he gathered his cronies."

"Okay, Lars, come with me," Lincoln says, "Luke, you have Clyde prepare for rehearsals."

"Good. Very good bro," Luke says with a sneer, "Why don't we have Clyde do the oath and pledge…"

"Oath and pledge?" Clyde wonders.

"Yes, all members need to go through it," Luke explains.

"Really? I thought they start with oath-ditions? Hehehe. Get it?" Lane comments jokingly.

"No, dude. This one is a must," Luke says with a sort of evil smirk for Clyde, which he finds kind of unnerving.

While that is going on, Lincoln and Lars quietly sneak outside of the auditorium to see John with his extra batch of cronies from the third to ninth grade.

"That's a lot of them," Lars comments, "He gathers his thugs from the skateboarding club. They were primarily victims of remedial classes. We must not let them know we are performing."

"Or else?" Lincoln replies.

"Something dangerous will happen," Lars answers.

Then suddenly, one crony of his with a burly physique and a skinhead catches them by the locker. "Like now. You dead punks!"

Lincoln and Lars try to flee back inside, but the crony holds on to the door and catches them by the collar of their shirts. The other cronies surround them as the main crony brings Lincoln and Lars to John.

"Well, well, look who we have here?" John enunciates with an evil demeanor, "Isn't it lovely that you drop by in front of me?"

"Let go off us, John," Lars insists, "What do you want from us?"

"No, it's not what I want. It's what they want," John says, "I told them my story. And they were stirred of how much trouble I went through. They understood me…that you, your brother and your house full of ragdoll brothers are nothing but trouble to my life. So, it's time to get rid of you all."

"Hey! Call us anything! But don't call my brothers ragdolls!" Lincoln chastises them.

Angered, Lars tries to charge John but he is stopped by the crony who brought them.

"What should we do to them?" the burly crony asks.

"Smack them by the fire alarm. Make them seem that they set it on." And with that, the cronies cheer as the burly one approaches a fire alarm and prepares to smack them there.

Then suddenly, John and his thugs freeze by their sight without affecting Lincoln and Lars. Out emerges Levi with a remote on his hand.

"Need a hand?" Levi smirks.

"Levi!" the two gladly utter in relief.

"Nice, we better get out of here. The freeze only lasts for 30 seconds."

With that, Lincoln and Lars release themselves from the hands of the crony and flee away with Levi.

After 30 seconds, the cronies get unfrozen, bewildered at what happened.

"Where they are?!" John belches in anger, gripping the burly crony. "Where they are?!"

"I don't know. Run away I guess," the crony assumes.

With that, the whole gang disperses while John calls out to them with a sing-song tone, "Louds, come out to play. Louds, come out to play. Loud, come out to play!"

Fortunately, Lincoln, Lars and Levi retreat to the dumpster in the school parking lot. And as they spot the gang retreat to their classes, they resume to Levi.

"Glad that was over," Lincoln says.

"We need to keep watch. They might be around in the dance," Lars assumes.

"Alright boys, I mapped how to get Lincoln back home," Levi explains. He then lays out his plan on how he can set up the machine from his underground bunker to outdoors. And indeed, he takes inspiration from a great sci-fi classic in the 80's. "I forecasted that the portal will be a strong form of matters; thus, I need a high-speed contraption to deliver you to the portal. And since the machine will not hold the portal longer, we need to recreate the portal outside of the school, tomorrow night."

"How can we do that? The dance is pretty much packed for the night," Lars brings out his concern.

"I think I know a way," Lincoln utters. Then he receives a text from Luke, informing that the technical rehearsals will start right away. "We need to get back. Come with us, Levi." With that, the three of them rush to the auditorium via the fire exit.

Meanwhile, Luke wraps up Clyde's oath to the band, as if it were reciting the American preamble.

"And I pledge to be with my brothers till the end," Luke enunciates.

"And I pledge to be with my brothers till the end," Clyde responds.

"So, help me rock."

"So, help me rock."

"Welcome to the band!"

"Yeah! Can't wait to play bass!"

"Sorry guys! We're here!" Lincoln calls to them, as he, Lars and Levi enter the auditorium. The former two return to their positions earlier as the band prepares to play. "Nice to see you here Clyde!"

"My pleasure, buddy. Would be a great moment to play with my best friend," Clyde shares.

"What happened to you two?" Lynn asks by the drums.

"There more of them," Lars answers, "But we got rid of them."

"I like the words you are saying," Lynn complements his brother.

Meanwhile, Levi sits by the audience, and is joined by Lexx and Leif, who got out of the electrical room, covered with dust and cobwebs.

"Are we good Real Boys?" the guidance counselor signals them, "On my count…"

"Here's goes nothing," Lincoln says nervously.

Noticing his brother's trembling, Luke approaches him and assures, "It's okay bro. Doesn't matter if you have no singing experience. Remember, always have fun."

With that encouragement, Lincoln begins to start the rehearsal with their first number:

 _Well I know when you're around_

' _cause I know the sound  
I know the sound, of your heart  
_

 _Well I know when you're around_

' _cause I know the sound  
I know the sound, of your hear_ _t_

Indeed, it is "The Sound" by The 1975, the first number by the Real Boys.


	17. The Real Boys Part 2

Night has fallen. It is the night before the winter dance. And the boys huddle to Gus' Games and Grub for dinner, where Lincoln plans to share the final instructions for tomorrow night's operation.

There, while the boys chow down to ten boxes of pizzas, Lincoln states his plan in stock movie fashion:

"Alright guys, one more night before I go. Now, that night's the winter dance too, so we gotta make sure everything goes hand-in-hand without anyone noticing it. The plan is simple. Luke, Lane, Lynn, Lars, Clyde and I will perform, and I need the rest of the guys to clear up for us. Levi, you are in charge of powering the portal creator. I know you can handle that department. And tell us there is any trouble. Lexx, you'll be helping out Levi in unloading the machine to the street. But make sure too that no one will see it. Leif, you're our groupie. Your job is basically to stop people from raising an eyebrow on us, or any threat possible. Loni, since you're handling our wardrobe, you're our decoy if things got out of hand. And Loki, you're our eyes. Make sure you communicate to us any threat you detected. Basically help out Leif. Alright, this is basically it. Hours left before I get to see home, and I get to miss you. Now, this is it! Who's with me?"

However, the boys are too busy chowing down the pizzas that they fail to listen to Lincoln's plan.

"Uhmmm guys?!" Lincoln calls them out, to absolutely no response. The boys seem to mind their own business. Loni shows a viral video to Loki, to which they both laugh at. Luke is playing with his drumsticks, with Lynn commenting on his style. Lane is playing his food, in front of Leon. Lars is texting on his phone. Lexx and Leif are boasting their miniature cowboy figurines to each other. And Levi is browsing through his clipboard of plans.

Lincoln asks once again, "Guys, are you even paying attention?"

"Go on bro, we're listening," Loni insists, though his eyes are directed to his phone.

"Yeah, bro. We're multitasking," Loki adds, "Just literally go on."

"Come on, I'm really serious," Lincoln pleas, "I need all eyes and ears here."

"Just a second, Linc," Leif says, "Trying to defeat Lexx in a Mexican standoff."

In character and with his toy cowboys, Lexx enunciates, "You are going down, hombres!"But Lincoln truly insists. With that, he says these condescending words, "Alright, suit yourself. This may be the last night you'll ever hear from me."

Hearing that, the boys become stunned, making them stop what they are currently doing, and direct their attention to Lincoln.

"I know this is a lot of mumbo-jumbo. But I need your help. I mean all your help," Lincoln appeals, "This may be the last time you'll ever see me. And I want to seize this moment for you, guys. Now, who's with me?"

However, the brothers remain speechless and guilty for ignoring their brother's words. Nonetheless, Loki steps up for Lincoln and calls forth the attention of his brethren.

"You heard him guys. He needs us," Loki pronounces, "And I know this is the literally the corniest thing I ever did since I did that speech in kindergarten. But that's beside the point. The point is let's take this moment to spare for our brother before we return him to…wherever he belongs. Now, I need all hands on deck. Shall we do this, bros?"

But with all the dramatic enunciation that Loki did, the boys remain speechless on the occurrences.

"That's definitely the corniest thing you ever did. Ever," Luke comments, "But yeah, let a rip, dude. What's the plan?"

At Luke's words of affirmation, Lincoln seals his brothers' trust once again. "Alright, as I was saying..."

Into the night itself, the school is packed with high school students who are game to have the night of their lives in the winter dance. It is mostly like prom, but it serves more as a gathering or celebration for the students. Complete with glowing spotlights, fancy cars, colorful streamers and a linen banner that says "Winter Dance", the night is setting the mood.

The boys arrive via the Vanzilla and park near the street, right beside the spot where the final operation will take place. One by one, the boys in their Beatles-sque marching band coat get out of the van and slow walk as if they are the _Guardians of the Galaxy_ , complete with "Cherry Bomb" by The Runaways playing in their heads. Passersby are just stunned at their presence, with one girl even fainting at Luke's sudden wink. They stop at one spot, before most of the Louds enter the school auditorium.

Lincoln assesses them, "Alright, guys. This is it. Everybody knows their places, right?"

"I was going to ask Lincoln, what if there will be guards roaming around, or even teens who got out of the dance early? How to manage that one?" Lexx asks.

"Then you lose them. You love to fool people, remember?" Lincoln replies.

"Ohh. Got it handled," Lexx assures.

"Alright, anybody else?"

Then, Lane enthusiastically raises his hand. "Oooh me. Pick me!"

"Yes Lane, what is it?"

"I was wondering if the crowd loves us, and we're called to perform beyond the night, how will we answer, now that you're gone after that?"

"He raised a legit question, dude," Luke comments.

"Look guys, we're just brothers performing for a crowd of teens. Let's clarify. We're not a real band. We just love to jam. Hehe. I don't know…"

But Luke relaxes him. "It's okay bro. I got this." Lincoln then takes delight on Luke's assurance.

Suddenly, from a distance, someone calls to them, "Hey guys! Wait for us!" It turns out to be coming from none other than Clyde, with Bebe accompanying him.

"Clyde, you made it on time," Lincoln utters.

"Yeah, you made it on time dude. We just finished performing. And we're on our way home," Luke joshes.

Thinking that he really was late to perform with the boys, Clyde utters, "What?! For real? Sorry guys if I did."

The boys take a laugh at this obvious fooling.

"Just kidding bro. You should look at your face," Luke titters.

"Man guys, that really caused me a panic attack. Well, not literally, but you know…"

Lane then leans on Clyde's head and rubs his hair as he slows down laughing. "We're just playing with you bro. Why would we ever Clyde away from laughing? Hehehe. Get it?"

"Okay. That I can take."

Loki turns his attention to the love of his life and woos her. "Hey, how's my bae? Haven't seen you in a while."

"Well, I have to ask permission from my boss to take off for the night. And after two night shifts to replace them for this, it worked," Bebe exposits.

"Aww poor thing…"

"I did it for you, my Loki bear."

"Awww. Glad that you're here for the night, babe. Saving the last dance for us?"

"Oh, with pleasure, I would. Only for you." After an exchange of sweet compliment to each, they brush on each other's noses before they kiss. The boys are able to witness this. And as usual for public displays of affection, they feel grossed out by it.

"Can I be the first one to say 'eww'?" Lynn reacts.

Lincoln then interrupts, "Uhmm Bebe, hate to ask but have you seen Ronnie Anne?"

"Ohh, she was just changing to her outfit for your moment later," Bebe answers while embracing Loki.

"Wait, what?"

"That got me reminded, Lincoln. I heard from Luke that you guys will be playing later. And so I approached him, if I can perform with you guys, and then we can set up you and Ronnie Anne for a dance."

"Wait, Luke, is this…?"

"For your moment to spare, bro," Luke replies.

"But I have a lot of Ronnie Anne back on my place."

"Then, take this chance to impress her, so you'll impress her ten more times there," Luke assures with a wink from his face.

Loki then supports, "And not to worry. My bae here is a good café singer and barista too. And she understand your situation bro, if I have to go crazy."

Gaining such strong support, more than what he expected, Lincoln utters, "Alright! All hands together!" With that, the brothers, Clyde and Bebe gather their hands together. "Let's do this: Operation: Let's Get Lincoln to Perform for the Winter Dance and Back to His Own Dimension, and somebody help me please think of a shorter name for that?"

"How about Operation: Homecoming?" Lane suggests.

"That will do," Lincoln replies. "Alright. Let's do Operation: Homecoming and not _Spider-Man: Homecoming_. In 3 Real Boys. 1…2…3!"

"REAL BOYS!" The group then cheers as they begin to put Lincoln's plan into execution.

However, Lars suddenly spots his supposedly girlfriend Sally by the distance. Thankfully, at this moment, she is alone, leaning by a car and glancing upon Lars and his ragtag group of brothers.

"Lars, we're heading inside now," Lincoln calls his brother.

"I'll catch up, Lincoln. Go ahead. I need to take care of something." Lars then approaches Sally to tie up all loose ends. She is in a beige flower dress, black leggings and a polka-dotted headband with a bow. "Hey!"

"Hey," she utters somberly.

"Look Sally, I was wondering after…John back there that I really left you a bad impression…"

"No, Lars. I am the one who's supposed to be sorry. I left you back there, hurt and humiliated. I have to be the one regretting. But I don't know what got into him. That's not the John I know."

"You're still with him?"

Sally then sadly nods without a word.

"I see."

"He warned me about you. I know it's not true what he said."

"Yet you are still with him?"

"It's complicated, Lars. You shouldn't take it too hard."

"After what he did to me and my brother?"

But Sally becomes adamant of what to say, as Lars' words strike of harsh truth.

"I knew it. But you know, I want to leave it all for now because I'm going to perform with my brothers." Lars then walks away from her.

"Wait Lars! They're coming for you." Lars then stops at Sally's warning. "He called his brother. They're there at the dance, along with his friends. Just so you know."

Then without looking at her, Lars utters, "Thank you. And Sally, I knew this all along. We're too young. We have a life ahead of us. And it's better off if we wait. But you took your path. But I'll stay waiting." Ironically after that, he rushes inside, leaving Sally despondent on Lars' confrontation.

Right inside backstage during an encore break, the boys are preparing for their performance backstage. They are rounded as the third in line to perform, after a jazz-number from the school vocalists club and a dance number from the school's representative for a hip hop competition. Each member of the group goes to their respective assignments; Luke at his electric guitar; Lane in his harmonica, trombone and saxophone; Lynn on the drums; Clyde at the acoustic guitar; Loki and Leif in the crowd; Levi and Lexx by the amplifiers to power the portal; and Loni and Bebe around the backstage premises.

The guidance counselor, who is also the master of ceremonies for the night, enters from the curtains upfront. "Okay guys, are we set?" he asks.

"Just a minute. My boys are prepping," Luke answers.

"Good. Good. Five minutes to go. I'll let you guys ready yourselves," the guidance counselor says, "Good luck out there."

While that is going on, Lincoln sneaks from the curtains to see the crowd of willing teenagers. Glancing at their joyful faces just builds up the pressure for Lincoln, as he does not want to upset their expectations.

"Anything wrong, bro?" Loni, who has Leon strapped to his front, notices Lincoln worrying.

"It's just the crowd," Lincoln answers, "They're basically older than me. And if they see a kid performing for them, an amateur singer if you will, I don't know what they'll see in me."

"They'll see you," Loni replies with a smile, "Okay, maybe I'm not that smart in encouraging. But I know when my brother is happy, even when we fool him around. I guess you need to be…happy that you're going to sing for them."

"Really think so?"

"I don't think so good. But I guess so."

"Poo-poo!" Leon follows in agreement with hard pats to Lincoln's nose. Though he thinks of it as a way of encouraging.

"And besides, they might be surprised that a little boy will be performing for them. That's chick magnet potential there." Then Loni thinks of something advantageous for the performance. "Wait, that got me thinking bro, stay right there." He then places Leon right beside Lincoln and gets his makeup kit.

Meanwhile, Levi and Lexx have finished rewiring the amplifiers. "There, now the sonic energy from the amplifiers and the sound system can now be converted to electrical energy," Levi utters.

"Though we need earplugs to avoid eardrums popping right?" Lexx inquires.

"You're starting now to gain intelligible logic, my dear brethren," Levi praises his brother.

Luke then notices them. "Shouldn't you be in the van, dudes?"

"We're just plugging in the wires to the amplifiers."

"Alright, but you better get settled. Performance is about to start."

"Well, heard what he said," Lexx says, "Let's go Levi." With that, the two leave the stage through a backstage fire exit.

While that is going on, Loki tries to contact Leif via walkie-talkie, "Norse god to Frogs, over…Norse god to Frogs, over…Lei, can you literally hear me?" Unfortunately, Leif is gorging on the finger food and free-flowing drinks by the concessionaire. "Why won't that troublemaker answer me?"

Suddenly, Loki bumps into Bebe.

"Ohh, Loki, sorry about that," she apologizes.

"Bae, what you doing here? I thought you were gonna sing," Loki inquires from her.

"I will. But I wanna enjoy the dance first. Come on Loki!"

"Oh Bebe, I can't. We're in a mission now."

"Well, it wouldn't be a mission in the crowd without blending in. Come on Loki!"

"Well, why literally spoil the night?" He then joins Bebe, dancing to the beat of "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel.

Returning to backstage, Lars rushes to the keyboard and readies his blocking.

"Lars, where have you been?" Lynn asks.

"I just took care of something," Lars laments, "It's all gone to oblivion now."

"Was it Sally?" Lars then confirms this with a nod. "What does she want now?"

"She's still with him. But it doesn't matter. What matters is that we might be facing a little threat from the crowd."

"Oh don't tell me…"

Lars goes upset about this fact.

"It's okay Lars. There are a lot of bats in the sky. And you know what they say, bros before…"

Then suddenly, the stage manager reminds the boys, "Two minutes, Real Boys! Be ready!"

At that signal, Lynn returns to the drums but Lars approaches Lincoln to warn him of John's presence, along with his brother and their cronies. "Lincoln, there's something I need to tell you." But as he checks out his brother, Lars sees Lincoln in a face getup resembling Matthew Healy, vocalist of The 1975 (complete with curled hair).

"Oh Lars, what is it?" Lincoln asks him.

Lane abruptly comments, "Well, that will definitely make up for your amateur voice. Hehehe. Get it?" But he receives nothing but disdain. "I'll get back to my position. Hehe."

"Why are you in that makeup?" Lars asks.

"Something to boost confidence I guess."

"It's something he needs for the girls to fulfill their need," Loni comments.

"Well, fine. But Lincoln, John might be around in the crowd. We better be vigilant."

At Lars' warning, Lincoln becomes more pressured. "That really helps, Lars."

"Oh, are you okay?"

"Yeah, definitely," Lincoln assures nervously.

"Sorry about that, big brother. Well, I'll give you good news. I'm through with Sally."

"Well, congratulations Lars And speaking of which, we can dedicate the opening to her, if that's okay with you."

"Oh, I see where you going from here. Good one, Lincoln."

The stage manager then interrupts them to announce, "One minute to go boys!"

"Alright here we go Lars!" Lincoln reassures to his brother. "Let's rock this!"

"Will do, Lincoln," Lars replies before he goes back to the keyboards.

Lincoln then heads to the front and wait by the microphone stand, with Luke and Clyde in electric guitar and acoustic guitar, respectively, behind him. He then faces behind to Clyde.

"Are we good Clyde?" Lincoln asks.

"Ready, set buddy, just as planned," Clyde guarantees.

He then faces to Luke as he strums random riffs on his guitar. "Luke, I am kind of nervous."

"Bro, chill. Remember what Mick Swagger says," Luke points out.

"It's all about having fun. Got it."

With the boys ready in their stances, smoke comes out from their receptacle, indicating that their performance is next.

They then hear the guidance counselor introducing the boy band, "Okay, without further ado, let me welcome the Loud brothers, or as they call themselves, the REAL BOYS!"

And at that moment, their performance starts.


	18. The Real Boys Part 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own the songs "The Sound" by The 1975, "Drive It Like You Stole it" by Sing Street or "Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones, or even _The Loud House._**

* * *

In his emo getup and esteem on his voice, Lincoln introduces the band's first number, "Hey guys. This song just came at the nick of time when a brother of mine went through a horrible love story. This, he dedicates to that one who got away. Here's what we say for him." After that, he starts their first number with an a cappella intro.

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

Initially ignorant, the teen crowd has their jaws dropped as they see an 11-year-old perform for them. It becomes a silent moment of bewilderment to see Lincoln try his best to perform one of the alternative hit songs of 2016 of all things. Still, Lincoln encourages them, "Come on guys. If you know the words, you can sing along."

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

Rarely are there fans of The 1975. But that does not hinder for the boys to perform. Eventually, a Hispanic brunette loudly sings along, followed by a clique of girls and then a horde of boys who are alternative music devotees. Eventually, the majority of the crowd sings along, echoing their voices on top of the halls, which is just heavenly choral songs to the boys' ears. Lincoln stops singing to hear the audience singing along.

"Wow dude, keep going!" Luke encourages Lincoln.

"Are you ready guys?" Lincoln asks his brothers and Clyde.

"Yeah!" they enthusiastically retort. With that, Lincoln returns to the microphone, Lars begins to technologically rearrange the tone of their number and Lynn aims to beat the bass drum. And thus, the song number continues.

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

 _I can't believe I forgot your name_

 _Oh baby won't you come again?_

 _She said "I've got a problem with your shoes_

 _And your tunes, but I might move in_

 _And I thought that you were straight, now I'm wondering_

Feeling the heat of the moment, Lincoln keeps waving his newly styled Matthew Healy hair as part of flair and swinging the microphone stand like a real rock star.

 _You're so conceited, I said "I love you"_

 _What does it matter if I lie to you?_

 _I don't regret it but I'm glad that we're through_

 _So, don't you tell me that you "just don't get it"_

 _'Cause I know you do_

At the point, Lincoln takes the microphone away from the stand and begins to prance in a showy manner. It is like a rock-and-roll enthusiast trying hard to strut along to the song he is listening to his phone. Nevertheless, the students dance along.

Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound

I know the sound, of your heart

Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound

I know the sound, of your heart

To extend further the showmanship, as he really feels the moment to the extreme, Lincoln gets down from the stage and interacts with the crowd, much to the surprise of his brothers.

"What the heck is Lincoln doing?" Lynn asks loudly in the midst of their loud music.

"Having fun, dude," Luke affirms.

"Guess he found his fun-dom now. Hehehe. Get it?" Lane remarks.

"He sure did," Lars agrees.

Lincoln's stint gets further over-the-top when girls approach him and jam with him. Some even take selfies and broadcast his performance live online.

 _It's not about reciprocation, it's just all about me_

 _A sycophantic, prophetic, Socratic junkie wannabe_

 _There's so much skin to see_

 _A simple epicurean philosophy_

 _And you say I'm such a cliché_

 _I can't see the difference in it either way_

 _And we left things to protect my mental health_

 _But you'll call me when you're bored and you're playing with yourself_

Lincoln then has the crowd chant with him, hearing that majority of the students know the song's lyrics, or just happen to sing along without knowledge of its subtle lines.

 _You're so conceited, I said "I love you"_

 _What does it matter if I lie to you?_

 _I don't regret it but I'm glad that we're through_

 _So don't you tell me that you "just don't get it"_

 _'Cause I know you do_

The rocking 11-year-old then goes back onstage as his brothers jam enjoyably with him.

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

The song number transitions to the part where the instrumental solos become the showcase. Lincoln then introduces each member of the band.

"Alright. Great to have this as an opening number. Let me introduce you to each of my brothers and brother at heart. Luke at the electric guitar!"

Luke then does a guitar riff, in harmony with the song.

"Okay, let's hear it for Clyde at the acoustics!"

At that call, Clyde strums an impromptu mariachi-like beat in a fast pace. He finishes it off with a bow.

"There's Lynn at the drums!"

Hearing his name drop, Lynn energetically does a spontaneous drumbeat, using every part of the drum, even the unexpected cowbell.

"I have a fever!" Lynn exclaims, "'Cause this is sick!" He then ends that with a rimshot because it is appropriate for an obvious pun.

"We also have Lane by the harmonica!"

Lane then plays his wind instrument while simultaneously mixing its tune through a laptop. His tune corresponds to the main song, despite the setbacks on multitasking in playing.

"Hey everyone, who's the girl who plays beautifully with her instrument? It's Harmonica. Get it?!" Lane then continues with his harmonica solo.

"Let me introduce you as well to Lars at the keyboards!"Upon the mention of his name, Lars then improvises a keyboard riff that meshes well to "The Sound" that it resembles more a remixed beat. "And to end of it all, yours truly, Lincoln Loud. And now, let's continue on!"

Then the whole crowd wildly holler as the band continues with their number.

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

 _Well I know when you're around 'cause I know the sound_

 _I know the sound, of your heart_

When the boys finish the number, the crowd goes wild and girls start to converge near at the front edge of the stage. Every one of the Real Boys are astounded by this kind of reception. Nevertheless, they appreciate the Loud roars of the audience.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Lexx and Levi, the two are on stakeout from the van, ensuring the parking lot gets vacant for the moment. Upon hearing the crowd's cheering echo beyond the auditorium walls, Lexx notices the decibel meter raising back and forth.

"Levi, the meter thingy is jumping up and down," Lexx alerts his younger brother genius.

"We're receiving sonic energy. But it's not enough," Levi deduces, "We need to somehow convert the maximum sonic energy that we have, which few decibels higher than what we are receiving, to generate the necessary power that we need."

"How are we gonna do that?"

"We need a high frequency device that can take a large amount of sonic energy, then use it to power the machine."

"Where are we going to find those?"

"Let me ask you. What's the loudest sound you know?"

"Ummm, lions, tigers, bears. Oh my…uhmmm concerts?"

"Okay, that falls on our current situation."

"Airplanes taking off, I guess?"

"Wait, that's a good deduction. But no one gather airplane sonars. We need a device that is capable of gathering sound simultaneously."

To make matters appear coincidental, Levi notices a radio transmission tower a few blocks away from the school that is decorated with radar dishes receiving radio signals."What are you looking at?" Lexx asks, and then looks where Levi is looking.

With a sudden idea in mind, Levi takes this with a sort of evil grin to his face. "You're thinking what I'm thinking?"

But Lexx nervously shakes his head "no".

* * *

Back inside, the crowd keeps roaring for the band to continue to play. Lars then begins their next performance with the first keys for their next song, "Drive It Like You Stole It" from the 2016 motion picture Sing Street. At the start of their performance throwback to 80's dance music, Lincoln does a brief Michael Jackson strut before he holds the microphone.

 _You just can't stand the way that I walked out from the wreckage_

 _Can't understand the way that I turned myself around_

 _I try to terminate this war, with you_

 _But you won't let it go you keep coming back for more_

 _Freedom, I'm taking it back_

 _I'm outta here, no turning back_

 _In a baby blue Cadillac_

 _Just when I was stalling_

 _I heard an angel calling_

 _This is your life, you can go anywhere_

 _You gotta grab the wheel and own it and drive it like you stole it_

 _Rollin, this is your life, you can be anything_

 _You gotta learn to rock and roll it, you gotta put the pedal down_

 _And drive it like you stole it, and drive it like you stole it_

Loki is still astounded at Lincoln's sudden vocalist skills. He never knows that his brother would actually have this sort of talent that raises the spirit of a number of people. With that, he appreciates this.

Bebe then suddenly drags Loki's arm to the dance floor. "Loki, come on! Dance with me!"

"Bae, slow down. I might slip. Plus, I'm on the job," Loki says.

"Loki-bear, I am about to perform. Dance with me while you have the chance."

Seeing her point, Loki dances with his girlfriend.

 _We get stuck in the dirt and we can't see where we're going_

 _We've faced all kinds of hurt and the friction slows us down_

 _But I won't be waiting here for the world to end in gold_

 _I leave your dust behind me stranded in the road_

At this point, Lincoln starts to imagine himself back to his own dimension, where he is performing the same number with a band that resembles his brothers. One by one, his loved ones enter the dance floor that is filled with high school students. His classmates start to enter the auditorium, all dressed in 80's prom suits and dresses.

 _Freedom, I'm taking it back_

 _Attitude I'm giving it back_

 _In a baby blue Cadillac_

 _Just when I was stalling_

 _I heard an angel calling_

The school faculty enters the hall like concertgoers. His parents also enter the dance floor, and are dressed as if they are John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John in Grease.

 _This is your life, you can go anywhere_

 _You gotta grab the wheel and own it, you gotta put the pedal down_

 _And drive it like you stole it_

Clyde then enters the scene in a blue tuxedo and slides down the dance floor. And as the highlight, each of his sisters arrive all in; with Lori with a baby blue headband, and Bobby escorting her; Leni in teal; Luna in purple; Luan in yellow; Lynn in red; Lucy in black; Lana in blue; Lola, of course, in pink; Lisa in green; and Lily in being able to walk freely. Overjoyed at all of his loved one's presence, Lincoln encourages the audience to dance altogether, which he did with great success.

 _This is your life, you can go anywhere_

 _You gotta grab the wheel and own it and drive it like you stole it_

 _Rollin, this is your life, you can be anything_

 _You gotta learn to rock and roll it, you gotta put the pedal down_

 _And drive it like you stole it_

 _And drive it like you stole it_

 _And drive it like you stole it_

 _And drive it like you stole it_

But slowly, Lincoln realizes that what he is seeing is just a figment of his imagination, a product of pining for his normal life (or specifically, his sisters). When he gradually returns to his current reality, he sees that the crowd is cheering for him as they end the song. Lincoln is just stunned at the recognition he and his brother receive. It is more than what they thought of. Lincoln may have overlooked his reality for a second, but he decides to seize this moment.

"Thank you guys!" Lincoln expresses his appreciation to the audience, so does his brothers with a bow. "We're not done yet. I'll pass the mic to my brother Luke."

"Well, my turn now," Bebe implies.

"Good luck bae," Loki lauds, then kisses his girlfriend on the lips as a sign of good luck. He then mutes his walkie-talkie to listen to Bebe's number.

As Bebe proceeds to the stage, Luke introduces her, "Okay, don't worry dudes and dudettes. Lincoln will come back for the rock performance. He just needs to take this moment for the next portion of our performance: the slow dance." However, half of the audience groans at that news. "Now relax dudes. This is not just for the ones with boyfriends or girlfriends only. If you feel like dancing, feel free to do so. For now, I like to introduce you another discovery from us brothers. He is the girlfriend to my brother Loki, and she also performs as a jazz band vocalist in Buckstar Coffees downtown. Here is Bebe Santiago."

Upon her introduction, a few of the students welcome Bebe with applause. Bebe then takes the microphone stand and places it properly in front of her. She starts her number with an opening spiel, "Thanks Luke for that. And thank you, and our beloved guidance, Sir Tennant, that you gave me a chance to perform before Lincoln goes back to perform. Now, Luke introduced me to you guys as a jazz singer. So, I like to start the slow dance with a jazz-inspired song. It's by Norah Jones, and it's called 'Don't Know Why'."

* * *

Meanwhile, Lincoln heads backstage as instructed by Luke.

Loni with Leon strapped to him then approaches Lincoln. "How it turned out bro?"

"It's just awesome! I can't believe I've done it again!" Lincoln expresses his enthusiasm.

"Awww…you must have really a great time," Loni says, "Now, she's down at the hall near the library. Follow the purple rose petals."

"Ronnie Anne?" Lincoln asks.

Then, Loni confirms his answer with a nod. With that, Lincoln heads to the hallways, which is sparsely occupied by the students who either took a break from the constant dancing or avoided the crowded auditorium.

* * *

On the other hand, Leif is still at the dessert table, gorging out of the endless serving of finger food and truffles. "This is the life!" Suddenly, he spots two boys (one with a ginger beard named Simon Frost and one fat guy with glasses called Nick Pegg) in greaser jackets approaching the table. Instinctively, Leif hides under the table with a plate of cronuts with him.

"I don't what got into Danny's little brother. Poor kid," Nick says.

"He told me he got caught up beating up some kid's brother. Blocked him in the eye but he sang earlier," Simon explains.

"Was that him?"

"Yep."

"So wait, the guys who are performing are the boys will corner later?"

"That's what the Danny says. Glad John told him about this. He wouldn't want the people responsible for his near expulsion go scot free."

"Oh I can't wait beat them. I say let's start with the older one, so we can corner the weaker younglings." However, hearing this shocking plan, Leif accidentally drops the plate, causing one cronut to roll to Simon's right shoe.

"That's a good plan right there." Simon then notices the cronu and picks it up. "What have we here?" Knowing someone might have rolled the pastry to him, Simon checks under the table to see no one.

Thankfully, Leif is able to escape to the crowd. He tries to warn Loki through radio, "Frogs to Norse god, over! Frogs to Norse god, over! Frogs to Norse god, over! We got an emergency! Some guys want to beat us up, over!" However, since Loki muted his walkie-talkie, he never hears Leif's alerts. Nonetheless, Leif tries to search for him in the crowd.

* * *

But back at Lincoln, he follows the trail of purple rose petals and reaches the hall that he was told where Ronnie Anne is. All he sees is the hall with the lights off. He starts to wonder what supposed to be the surprise that his brothers and Bebe has set up for him.

"Hello? Ronnie Anne?" Lincoln calls out. Suddenly, he hears grunts from the dark hall.

"Dang it! Maybe I should have go for a suit rather than a dress." Then from there, Ronnie Anne emerges from the dark, wearing a lilac dress and mid-high heeled sandals. Strikingly, her hair is down, giving natural curls to the edges. She also has a flower clip by her left bangs. This new makeover to the tomboyish Ronnie Anne really stuns Lincoln of how beautiful she really is.

Ronnie Anne then gets surprised of Lincoln's presence (and his emo Matthew Healy makeup), "Lincoln, you're…you're here. Too soon, lame-o!"

"Wow, my Ronnie…Ronnie Anne, you're beautiful," Lincoln sincerely compliments her.

She then blushes out of Lincoln's sweet praises to her beauty. "Uhmm Linc, I don't know what to say."

As they gaze at each other, Bebe's number starts to be heard from the speakers in the halls they are in. Some students take the moment to slow dance, but it is Lincoln and Ronnie Anne's moment now.

 _I waited 'til I saw the sun  
I don't know why I didn't come_

"Ronnie Anne, if you may, please, will you take this dance with me?" Lincoln asks sweetly before he offers a hand to his girlfriend.

Feeling so secured with Lincoln's polite gesture, Ronnie Anne takes Lincoln's hand but suddenly slaps him in the face.

"Awww! What's that for?" a surprised Lincoln asks.

"That's for being cheesy. I hate cheesy, Linc. You're indeed the worst. You know I hate slow dances like these," Ronnie Anne angrily says, making Lincoln dismayed. However, she cools down. "That's what I love about you. You still give me corny, even though I hated it."

 _I left you by the house of fun_

 _I don't know why I didn't come_

 _I don't know why I didn't come_

With that, the two dance by the halls. Casting all his worries aside, Lincoln seizes this moment to finally dance with Ronnie Anne. Yes, she is not his ideal love interest. But still, she is beyond a good friend.

 _When I saw the break of day_

 _I wished that I could fly away_

 _Instead of kneeling in the sand_

 _Catching teardrops in my hand_

 _My heart is drenched in wine_

 _But you'll be on my mind_

 _Forever_

Behind the scenes, Loki sneaks up on them and sets the mood by switching on a fog machine. After that, he takes a picture of the two romantically dancing under his girlfriend's lovely number.

"I am literally proud of you, Lincoln," he whispers to himself.

 _Out across the endless sea_

 _I would die in ecstasy_

 _But I'll be a bag of bones_

 _Driving down the road alone_

 _My heart is drenched in wine_

 _But you'll be on my mind_

 _Forever_

 _Something has to make you run_

 _I don't know why I didn't come_

 _I feel as empty as a drum_

 _I don't know why I didn't come_

 _I don't know why I didn't come_

The two then take a break after dancing. They just need to let the moment sink in to themselves. Never do they experience this since ever. It becomes their most intimate moment ever.

"Hey, want to hang out by the moonlight before my next number?" Lincoln asks.

"I will try to swallow every cheesy line of yours like a tennis ball," Ronnie Anne replies, "But yeah. Why not?" They then both head to the school's rooftop garden, which they have for some reason.

After witnessing that lovely number, Loki exits the scene to the end of the halls. However, he is suddenly cornered by the thugs Simon and Nick form awhile ago. He does not know them, but they keep pushing him back. Nevertheless, he gets captured.


	19. The Real Boys Part 4

The program goes smoothly as planned, but problems will arise at this point.

But back at Lexx and Levi, when the latter genius concludes to use another electrical conductor reserve to gauge power for the portal (which in this case is the radio tower), he propose Lexx to break in to the compound base to hook a wire to the tower. Sure enough, after Levi justifies the brighter side of his task, Lexx reluctantly goes along with his plan.

"So how would I suppose to reach the other side?" Lexx asks as he faces in front of the barricaded area.

"Easy. You break through," Levi straightly answers.

"That's ridiculous!" Lexx replies, "How would I break through this fence?" Then the self-proclaimed prince thinks of an idea. "Wait, Leif knows where dad hides his tools so…" At that assumption, the boys check the back of the van to see handyman tools that are kept under the seat. One of which is a bolt cutter. "Sweet!" he remarks after taking the tool on his hands.

Lexx then cuts through the metal wire fence and gets to the other side with the electric wire on his hands.

Just as that is going on, the two hear commotion from the school grounds: two male high school students exiting the school premises and heading to the parking lot.

"We got company!" Levi alerts Lexx, "Just work that out. I'll distract them."

"Wait, Levi! I don't know how to…" Lexx admits before facing to the power box to see the exact same setup as the one that was in the auditorium, much to his chagrin.

As the boys walk down the steps, Levi stealthily shoots their faces with a water hose that blinds their way. They try to evade the sudden splash of water, but the 4-year-old also soaks where they are standing, making them slip from the slippery floor and allowing Levi to knock them out with a pan.

"Need to get me one of these," Levi utters proudly. "Though I have to inquire why there is a misplace skillet, coated with polytetrafluoroethylene, just scattered in the domestic vehicle?" After that, he checks all the exits around the school perimeter and jams each one, except the fire exit that leads to the auditorium.

Back at Lexx, since he was not the one who connected the wire in the auditorium booth, he has no idea what to do. Frustrated, he utters, "Leif, you moron! Why didn't you told me what to do in this case? Hmmm, if I were him, what would I do?" At a loss of hope, Lexx then observes that the power box connection leads to the ground. And just like Leif, he digs it up to uncover an underground connection that presumably leads to the primary power plants. Luckily for him, he sees another pipe slot that he can connect to (What convenience!) and plugs the wire there, resulting for the power to generate to a range of a maximum 1.21 gigawatts and spark in response.

Levi gets to witness with true glee. "Great Scott! It's alive!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the auditorium, Leif hurtles backstage to alert of what he just saw. He only sees Loni rocking Leon on his arms as the band performs "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin from the movie _Enchanted_.

 _So close to reaching that famous happy end_

 _Almost believing this was not pretend_

 _And now you're beside me and look how far we've come_

 _So far we are so close_

"Loni, we have trouble!" Leif informs his brother alarmingly.

But Loni is too distracted with the slow dance tune. "What is there to trouble when such lovely song is played to sweep you off your feet…?"

"Loni, I am serious! There are these two guys who want to beat us up!" the 6-year-old reiterates, but Loni ignores his warnings. Left with no option, Leif thinks of warning the boys of what he gathered. With that, as the song hits the bridge, Leif dims the lights on the boys and switches the radiance to the audience, for him to sneak to the boys. He then alerts Lars, who is closest on his position.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to patrol?" Lars questions his brother.

"I am. That's why I am here," Leif says, then whispers the situation to Lars, making the latter give a distress signal to Lynn, then sending it to the rest of the band.

While that is going on, Leif spots from a distance the two goons from earlier, Simon and Nick, who reenter the dance hall and alert a fellow crony of their discovery. That crony, who is indicated by his thick brown mustache and bare forehead, then phones his other comrades of their next plan.

 _How could I face the faceless days_

 _If I should lose you now?_

But such a quivering occurrence is not felt on yet felt on both Lincoln and Ronnie Anne, as they dance to such a passionate song, sung by Bebe.

 _We're so close_

 _To reaching that famous happy end_

 _And almost believing this was not pretend_

 _Let's go on dreaming for we know we are_

"Still think of this as corny?" Lincoln asks.

"What you think? I am in a relationship with the wimpiest and corniest boyfriend in the history of everything," Ronnie Anne mocks him, "That's why I like you."

Lincoln smiles at this rather harsh but earnest compliment from his secret girlfriend. Well, it is to be expected from the tough bully Ronnie Anne. Though most know her from her bullish antics, a few like Lincoln knows her for her soft heart and cheerful attitude. But only Lincoln knows her subtle romantic soft spots. Gladly, he takes advantage of this on this sweet slow dance moment that he will soon ask her for when back in his own dimension. And it all ends with Lincoln giving Ronnie a tender kiss…on the cheek.

 _So close_

 _So close_

 _And still so far_

* * *

After the slow song number, the band initiates a short intermission to take care of Leif's concern. The latter tells what he heard, making them worry about the situation.

"Are you sure you heard all of what you said?" Lynn interrogates Leif.

"I swear. I heard everything. I was munching on truffles underneath the dessert table, then those two goons showed up. And I really heard that they'll take on Loki."

"Not my Loki-bear," Bebe responds, "If I ever see their faces, I am gonna smack them hard."

"Gees, too harsh," Luke remarks.

"Let's take 'em by the eyes!" Lynn bolts out, "And we'll show them whose boss!"

"That we'll be a fist for the eyes. Hahaha. Get it?" Lane untimely jests.

"Have you heard of anything else?" Lars asks.

"Well, I heard of plans from boss, and his little brother…" Leif answers.

"It's John and his goons. Just as I thought," Lars assumes. "They're after us, most especially Lincoln."

"Lincoln. What about Lincoln? What we'll happen to him?" Clyde expresses his concern.

"And so as Ronnie Anne?" Bebe follows, "Oh no. Two of my loved ones in trouble?!" Then the entire group brings out their concerns simultaneously that the huddle becomes noisy.

Abruptly, Luke steps in front and appeases all of them. "Okay, let's not get over ourselves, dudes. I hate to assume leader role thing but if we need to perform like a band with no trouble, we have to stop the trouble."

"But how?" Lynn asks.

Then Luke replies, "I have a plan. Lynn, Lars and Bebe, find Lincoln and Ronnie Anne before they do. Leif, we need your twin's help. Get him and take down the goons you saw. And Loni, why you have Leon still strapped on you?"

"Oh, I kinda like babysitting Leon now," Loni happily answers, "I saw it from the Animal Planet of those guys caring for the leon cubs."

"Uhmmm okay, you help Leif take down the goons. Can you do that?"

"Yes, sir-ty sir!"

"Good. And Lane and Clyde, the show must go on. You're with me. Alright, battle stations!" At Luke's cry, the group disperses to their respective assignments.

* * *

Lincoln and Ronnie Anne just finish dancing to the slow tunes that the band and Bebe performed. And as the final melody strikes, it signals for him to return back onstage to do the fast numbers.

"I better go now. Duty calls on the floor," Lincoln tells Ronnie Anne.

"Well, go ahead bucko," Ronnie Anne replies with a smirk.

But as the two are about to leave, three frat boys enter the scene and block their way. Another group of three boys also block their way behind them, leaving them at the center of confrontation.

"I don't like the looks of these guys," Ronnie Anne utters.

"Uhhmmm if you excuse us guys? We are about to pass by. Please?" Lincoln politely asks to the boys.

"Not so fast Loud," a voice warns the two. Then, out of the tough boys appear three more, who are shielding to whom is presumably their boss in the events. He is dressed in an all-black tuxedo with a maroon button up shirt, a black tie and dark trousers, just like a mafia boss. "You're Loud right?" he asks.

"Yeah?" Lincoln answers.

"Hmm. Just as we need," the "boss" replies. "Alright, little bro. He is yours."

By that signal, the trouble none other than Lars' enemy (and his new enemy) John appears from behind his brother, dressed in the same getup.

"Finally Lincoln, we find ourselves face to face again," John says.

"John, get out of the way. This is not your night to ruin," Lincoln replies as Ronnie readies her fist.

"Oh, I know. I know it's not the night I should ruin," the Danny Zuko lookalike retorts grinningly, "I will just take it on your brother instead."

At his words, Lincoln is left at shock.


	20. The Real Boys Part 5

In the heat of the situation, Leif heads back to his younger brothers on the parking lot to alert them on the happenings. Recently, Lexx successfully plugged in the time machine to the telecommunications tower to procure the needed power and Levi confirmed a power surge for his contraption.

"Guys, glad I found you!" Leif utters.

"Should not you been patrolling around the partygoers?" Lexx brings out his concern.

"I am just doing my job! Lincoln and Loki are in trouble!"

"Not good. That's a negative if such unexpected intrusion happens to the principal perpetrators of this plan," Levi reacts. "I meant to say 'this is not good'. Happy?"

"But still, we have to help them! But where they could be?" Lexx replies.

"They said in the hall, but we need a faster way to get there," Leif implies.

Just as he brings that up, the three boys spot an air vent, adjacent to the fire exit door from the backstage. This triggers them to think of an idea – using the vents to gain access to the school's hallways without squeezing themselves in the dance crowd.

* * *

But back at Lincoln and Ronnie Anne being confronted by John, his brother and their gang of loyal thugs, John continues his evil-ish soliloquy against Lincoln.

"I will let you feel how I felt being embarrassed in front of my uncle. You know what it feels like to present to him, the principal of this school," John says this as he clutches the collar of Lincoln's suit, before he pushes him aside. "Bring him in."

At his signal, Simon and Nick bring in a beaten-up Loki and throw him in front of Lincoln and Ronnie Anne.

Shocked at this happening, Lincoln runs to his brother and relieves him. "Loki, are you okay?"

"Lincoln…do I literally see you?" he says in total pain. His body is all bruised up, giving him a hard time to speak. His arms are battered. His body is covered in scratches and black pigments, implying that the two goons kick his entire body. And to top it all, his right eye is in total black eye that even bled at the side. Due to such heavy injuries, he slightly faints to the side. But Lincoln picks him up. "You were good with Ronnie…Anne."

"Loki, speak to me. You are going to make it," Lincoln empathetically consoles him until Loki leans on his chest. Ronnie Anne comes to support but she gives a glare to John's gang. "Why you!" Lincoln is about to charge John but John's crony stops him from behind. "You are going to pay for this!"

"No, you are going to pay for this," John retorts back. "And you can help in there." Suddenly, John flips and kicks Lincoln's face. This causes for Lincoln's cheek to bleed.

"Lincoln!" Ronnie Anne shrieks in startling reaction. "You arrogant little prick!" She then is grabbed by two more of his cronies, for showing corresponding retaliation.

"Ha! I guess you're dimwitted girlfriend here fails to comprehend the force that comes from this guy," John keeps on bragging.

"What's next little brother?" Danny asks.

"Well, I guess we can take the beating to the next level," he sadistically suggests.

Danny then signals his remaining units from his behind (John C, Graham, Terry G., Terry J., Eric and Michael) to ready to aim for Lincoln, "Okay fellas, you know what to do. Let's take the pain to his brothers. They're just around the venue. Got it fellas?"

But as the two brothers turn to them, they see the six goons beaten up and crouching on the floor in pain.

"Hey, what's wrong, you morons?" Danny furiously asks.

"I farted in my general direction," John C replies in pain.

"We just have flesh wounds," Graham adds. (I bet you would not get this reference.)

"What are you talking about?" Danny replies dumbfounded.

But John vents, "Who did this to you?!"

But just as he asks that, Boy Lynn hurtles himself on air and strikes on Danny's face, knocking him down and landing right in front of Lincoln and company.

"Did I come late?" Lynn spouts out that one-liner.

"Lynn, how come you are here?" Lincoln asks.

"Not only me, bro." After Lynn answers his brother, Lars flips on top of the goons' stomachs like stone steps on a pond and lands on the same position as Lynn.

"Your second reinforcement has just arrived," Lars utters. "And we have a third."

Exactly after Lars says that, Bebe suddenly appears and hurries to catch up with Lynn and Lars' path. "Sorry guys, I cannot just on these heels, you know." But as she arrives, the Hispanic 17-year-old sees her boyfriend beaten up. "Loki! What happened?"

Despite being injured, Loki hears his bae's voice and turns to where she is. "Hey bae…" But after that, he faints again.

And for those who have yet to know, when Bebe sees her boo in harm, she confronts those who are responsible for such harm, whether before or after the harm. Naturally, seeing her boyfriend bruised up and helplessly leaning on Lincoln makes her heart break, and then extremely furious.

And just to double that, she also notices her sister Ronnie Anne being held by two goons and Lincoln coming to Loki's care. "Ronnie Anne! Lincoln!"

As she slowly erupts in anger, the six cronies from earlier get up again and sees Bebe right in front of them.

"Why a lovely lassie…" Eric woos Bebe.

But realizing that with their thuggish stature that they are responsible for Loki's beating and Ronnie Anne and Lincoln's capture, she easily lashes out the six in one kick. "That's for you fiends!"

"Wow, nobody expects the Spanish inquisition," Michael utters while heeding from the pain on his face.

"Now that's something completely different," John C reacts.

John and Danny see this as a warning sign for them to retreat. With that, John orders, "Guys, to the parking lot. Bring Lincoln! He's the only one we need!" Three thugs then grab Lincoln's arms to take control of him. But the guys push Ronnie Anne by Loki's side.

"Lincoln!" Ronnie Anne screeches. And in the same way as Bebe, so like sisters, Ronnie Anne vents in anger and attacks the three thugs taking hold of Lincoln. "You morons let go off my boyfriend!"

But as the thugs get up back again, Ronnie Anne and Bebe team up side by side to strike them back again.

"You ready sis?" Bebe asks.

"Let's take them down!" Ronnie Anne replies. At her signal, the Santiago sisters knock out the nine thugs with flair and cooperation, and tie them all together with one rope. What is left is for them is to do a fighting pose to them. Just because of that, the nine retreat to the separate direction.

Lincoln and Loki just witness this in sheer astonishment of seeing their girlfriends kicking butt.

"Wow Loki, you sure a lucky guy to have a girlfriend like that," Lincoln compliments to Loki.

"We are literally lucky guys Lincoln," Loki clarifies comically.

"You guys are okay?" Bebe asks.

"Literally fine after seeing my girlfriend does her awesome fighting moves," Loki replies.

"Oh no, Loki bear!" Bebe utters as she helps Loki get up, with Ronnie Anne assisting her.

"Go ahead guys. You stop that jerk!" Ronnie Anne persuades them.

With that, Lincoln, Lynn and Lars gather together and hurry to stop John, Danny, Simon and Nick from running away.

* * *

Back on the four fiends, they are virtually unaware that the rest of their men lagged behind, suspecting that they had Lincoln in their clutches.

Then suddenly, Lexx and Leif jump out from the air vents and land on the faces of Simon and Nick.

Leif then notices the faces of the men they land on. "Lexx, these are the thugs!"

"Hey why don't you get those baby hands off my face!" Simon shouts at Lexx.

Because of this, Lexx vents in anger. "Baby hands?! Let me show you baby hands!" And with that, the twins punch the two thugs on their faces.

John and Danny stop as they notice their two main thugs being beaten up by 6-year-old twins.

John then berates his brother for his gang's incompetence, "Oh come on! I thought you said they were the best batch of goons you can afford!"

"They are. Well, they are competent pool teammates," Danny answers.

"Well pool teammate or not, these are incompetent morons!" John replies.

Lincoln, Lynn and Lars catch up to them. "Stop right there, John!" Lincoln shouts to him.

"Well, well Lincoln," he replies.

"This has to stop right now!" Lincoln persuades him.

"Alright, I'll show you," Lincoln responds, but Lars stops him by the last time.

"Nope brother, I will take this," Lars convinces.

"Lars?"

"Save yourself. You have sisters back where you came from," Lars says, "This is my problem now." With that, Lars marches to John to confront the rival himself.

"Why Lars, you come to accept your terms," John boasts.

"I come to finish this."

"Well, you're finished from the first place. Sally is gone. Your brother has nowhere to go. What else you gonna do?"

From there, Lars attempts to punch him but John dodges them all. This gives John the advantage to punch Lars by the gut and knock him down with his elbow. Lars gets up, despite the heavy blows from John, and tries to fight him back.

On the sidelines, Danny retrieves a mop and prepares to hit Lars by the head. But Lynn overpowers him by lunging to his head and clawing his face. "Go ahead Lincoln! Save Lars!" Realizing that Lynn takes control of Danny, Lincoln takes the mop from the strong grip of Danny's hand and strikes it to John's back, which makes them get pushed to the door going to auditorium. They both suddenly burst in to the hall as they attempt to overpower each other.

The guests are shocked at the happenings that they clear the space for them to fight on. However, Lars and John are nonchalant of the people watching them and escalate their feud to claw wars, with John having the upper hand.

To stop them, Lincoln runs back onstage and joins Clyde, Luke and Lane who have just finished performing an EDM jazz number. "Guys!"

"Lincoln, you're back in time!" Clyde reacts.

"What's up bro?" Luke asks.

"Lars is fighting John. We need to stop them," Lincoln tells them alarmingly.

"How do we suppose to do that?" Luke asks.

"Let's spice things up, for the dance too."

"What you're waiting for? Let's drop it like it's hot. Hehehe. Get it?" Lane humorously persuades.

But back at the two, John presses Lars' face to the ground, signifying he overpowered him. "You see Lars, there are two people in this world. The ones in the light and the ones in the dark. You fall in the latter. Why? Because you love the dark, and the dark will only be your best friend."

As John aims to punch Lars one more time, Luke presses the keys to the keyboard to sound the first chords of a Ryan Lewis track. And the Ryan Lewis number belongs to...


	21. The Real Boys Part 6

It is a tense showdown between the greaser John and the emo Lars. As they prepare to tackle each other in the middle of the dance floor, Lincoln and Clyde abruptly distract them by oddly dressing themselves in oversized winter coats and fedora hats and performing this number, at the start from Luke's synthesizer rift. Lincoln starts it off.

 _I got this feeling inside my bones  
It goes electric, wavey when I turn it on  
All through my city, all through my home  
We're flying up, no ceiling, when we're in our zone_

"Wait…Is your brother singing a song I love?" John furiously asks. Just as he is distracted, Lars punches John by the elbow. "Hey! You cretin!" John attempts to charge Lars, but he surprisingly finds himself digging into Lincoln's voice singing his favorite song.

 _I got that sunshine in my pocket  
Got that good soul in my feet  
I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops, ooh  
I can't take my eyes up off it, moving so phenomenally  
Room on lock the way we rock it, so don't stop_

Everybody else joins in the jam as Lincoln and Clyde cooperatively perform "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake. The whole auditorium is filled once again with vibrancy after two slow dances and a jazz overture.

 _And under the lights when everything goes  
Nowhere to hide when I'm getting you close  
When we move, well, you already know  
So just imagine, just imagine, just imagine_

In any way possible, every student in the hall dances along with the number. John finds this so infectious that he cannot help but go along with the flow and participate in dancing. "Oh this is so precious! I must!"

Lars, meanwhile, is stunned at John's sudden shift in tone. He can accept that his enemy could be a fan of pop songs but he never would expect for him to dance along to them uncontrollably. It is truly out of his element that just triggers curiosity to such a one-sided bully. Nevertheless, Lars finds this as advantageous.

Before Lincoln and Clyde go to the chorus, a horde of students, including John, huddle by the middle of the dance floor and follow the duo's jiving moves. This really apes the cliché of kids' movies needing a dance number near to the end of a movie.

 _Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance  
Feeling good, good, creeping up on you  
So just dance, dance, dance, come on  
All those things I shouldn't do  
But you dance, dance, dance  
And ain't nobody leaving soon, so keep dancing_

In the heat of such a sporadic moment, Lincoln and Clyde unexpectedly get lifted up by the Winter Dance guests and cheered by them. They still continue to sing.

 _I can't stop the feeling  
So just dance, dance, dance  
I can't stop the feeling  
So just dance, dance, dance, come on_

Meanwhile, Danny bursts from the door, having taken an upper hand to Lynn, and gets stunned to see his brother mindlessly dancing to a dance-and-song number, performed by people he despises. "Hey John, would you cut the nonsense on dancing to this song?!" he loudly warns him, but he ignores his pleas. "Oh that's it! I shall show those boys who they should dance to!"

Suddenly, Boy Lynn catches up to Danny and kicks him by the face. "Oh no you don't!" He then overpowers him by stomping on his head and burying his face to the floor. "If you dare mess with my brothers, you mess with me!" After that, noticing the performance has shifted to the fast songs, Lynn goes through the crowd and joins his brothers onstage to the drum set. Danny tries to catch up with him but he is subsequently surrounded by guests who converge at Lincoln.

 _Ooh, it's something magical  
It's in the air, it's in my blood, it's rushing on  
Don't need no reason, don't need control  
I fly so high, no ceiling, when I'm in my zone_

Meanwhile, the six other goons who earlier were tied up together enter the dance floor to finish the job. But still, while all being tied to a rope nonetheless, they end up dancing mindlessly. Simon and Nick, who showed with bruises on their faces after Lexx and Leif beat them up harshly, arrives on time to see their fellow cronies asininely dancing.

"Hey, you fools! What are you doing?!" Simon shouts at them.

"They can't hear you, mate. The song's too loud," Nick utters.

"Oh quit your observations and help me cut them loose," Simon persuades.

However, one of the guys takes them by the hand and drags them to the posse, ending them being tied up alongside with them. Now, the two are stuck with the six.

"This is such rubbish, mate!" Simon reacts while feeling choked from how tight the rope is.

"You tell me. I can almost question how we end up in a gang of monkeys," Nick responds while being pressed to Simon's chest. With no other way out, the two just go along with the six's mindless jiving.

Lexx and Leif stumble upon them as they enter back at the auditorium.

"Look at how they go, Lexx," Leif utters. "But they're still a threat."

"I just got the solution for that one, Leif," Lexx replies with a grin.

With that, Lexx and Leif retrieve one ball carrier that is filled with Mikasa basketballs and open it to release the balls for the goons to trip over. Sure enough, thanks to being distracted on the song, they do trip over and land on the carrier altogether. Lexx has them caged there, and the two push the cart away to the hallway. The eight goons end up being slid on the cart, having to come across or hit several students who are passing by and knocking out their other three men. They all end up crashing to the janitor's mound, where he places and rinses his mop. And in that note, the eleven give up for assisting John and Danny.

 _'Cause I got that sunshine in my pocket  
Got that good soul in my feet  
I feel that hot blood in my body when it drops, ooh  
I can't take my eyes up off it, moving so phenomenally  
Room on lock the way we rock it, so don't stop_

On the other hand, Bebe and Ronnie Anne carry Loki to the backstage, where they see Loni and Leon dancing to the song number.

"Loni! Come here quick!" Bebe calls him out, to which he responds instantly by approaching them

"Loki, what happened to him?" Loni asks as he carries Loki for them and brings him to a nearby chair.

"Those goons from Lars' rival beat him up," Ronnie Anne answers.

Bebe continues to nurse him and makes him wear an arm sling. "You okay, Loki bear?"

"Absolutely fine, bae," Loki woozily answers, "Just feel alive seeing you."

Relieved on his safety, Bebe kisses him on the lips for more relief. Eventually, she notices the song number continuing. "Wait, who's singing?"

"Oh Lincoln got back on gear," Loni answers while dancing to the beat.

At that shocking revelation, Loki, Bebe and Ronnie Anne check out from the curtains onstage to see Lincoln and Clyde performing "Can't Stop the Feeling" and encouraging the others to dance. Also shocking to them is seeing the root of all their problems tonight, John, mindlessly participating to the crowd dancing.

 _And under the lights when everything goes  
Nowhere to hide when I'm getting you close  
When we move, well, you already know  
So just imagine, just imagine, just imagine_

Lars is still stunned at the turn of events. Despite seeing John submitting to the rhythm of an already infectious happy song, Lars remains cautious at the sneak attacks he might do.

While singing, Lincoln notices this and convinces his brother to join in with the dancing.

"Bro, this is out of our elements, much as John there. I will not sell my soul to move my body to a corny pop song from a corny kids movie," Lars explains.

Yet still, Lincoln drags him to the crowd who follow their every dance moves. Lars is initially unconvinced of his brother's persuasion, but slowly, he gives in to the groove and eventually dances along.

 _Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance  
Feeling good, good, creeping up on you  
So just dance, dance, dance, come on  
All those things I shouldn't do  
But you dance, dance, dance  
And ain't nobody leaving soon, so keep dancing_

 _I can't stop the feeling  
So just dance, dance, dance  
I can't stop the feeling  
So just dance, dance, dance  
I can't stop the feeling  
So just dance, dance, dance  
I can't stop the feeling  
So keep dancing, come on_

Lincoln and Clyde ultimately get up onstage for the final blow.

"Man, I never thought we would perform like this," Clyde shares.

"Yeah me too. And I almost think I have the voice of Justin Timberlake," Lincoln replies.

"Well said buddy. You think you lend these chops back on your own dimension?"

"We'll see. I still sing there, but not actually become a singer. That would be terrible."

"Right where you are. But who knows? Let's enjoy the moment."

With that, they continue on with the bridge.

 _I can't stop the, I can't stop the  
I can't stop the, I can't stop the  
I can't stop the feeling_

The rest of the boys, with the exception of Levi, converge onstage.

"Hey guys!" Lincoln exclaims to them.

"Lincoln!" they reply loudly.

"Lincoln, you wouldn't believe what we just did! We took out those goons, one by one!" Lexx shares ecstatically.

"Yeah, and we cage them to a cart and drive them away, and like that, boom!" Leif adds.

"I wouldn't go on to the boom. But still, good!" Lincoln replies.

"Hey bro, thank you. Thank you for helping me overcome," Lars expresses his gratitude to his empathetic brother.

"I am always here for you, bro," Lincoln responds by making them do an improvised secret handshake.

Loki, Loni, Leon, Bebe and Ronnie Anne then follow along. "Lincoln!"

"Hey fellas!"

"Plan worked out perfectly," Loni replies.

"Loki, are you doing okay?"

"Just literally bumps on my body but doing good," Loki answers. "Can't believe you have grooves bro."

"Yeah us too," Ronnie Anne agrees, "So as romance, even though it's corny."

"Go on Lincoln," Bebe encourages him to continue with number.

And with that, Lincoln sways the audience of high schoolers, "Everybody on the dance floor, show your moves in 1, 2, 3, go!" and the Loud brothers, Clyde and the Santiago sisters lead them to dance, altogether onstage.

 _Nothing I can see but you when you dance, dance, dance  
Feeling good, good, creeping up on you  
So just dance, dance, dance, come on  
All those things I shouldn't do  
But you dance, dance, dance  
And ain't nobody leaving soon, so keep dancing_

With no delays stumbling on their way, the Real Boys perform their last number with enthused flair.

 _Everybody sing  
Got this feeling in my body  
Got this feeling in my body  
Wanna see you move your body  
Got this feeling in my body  
Break it down  
Got this feeling in my body  
Can't stop the feeling  
Got this feeling in my body, come on_

After that, the audience gives The Real Boys a round of erupting applause and loud cheers from their peers. Some boys hoot, "Real Boys! Real Boys!" Some girls scream at the top of their lungs. While the rest throw their applause up in the air.

Lincoln is enthralled at this reception. He can only celebrate this unbelievable feat with a flip of his Matthew Healy hair and a smirk to his brothers.

The guidance counsellor host gets up onstage to wrap up their performance. "There you go, ladies and gentleman! Give it up for 'The Real Boys'!"

The crowd gives them a louder applause. In response, the boys and girls onstage give them a resounding bow altogether. And also, this signals them to retreat to the backstage for the next part of the plan.

As the guidance counsellor continues with his announcements, the gang vacates the backstage and heads out to the parking lot.

But expectedly, a recovered John and a bruised up Danny block their way.

"Well, well, well. Do you think you can get away that easily?" John interrogates them.

"John, will you stop this? It's pointless of you threatening us," Lars sways him.

"Do you think all of my work is pointless? You had my brother get stampeded. You got rid of our men. And you made me dance on a Justin Timberlake song. Now, you'll pay." John says while folding his sleeves to preparing beating Lars up.

"John!" someone eventually warns him, which turn out to be his girlfriend Sally, "Leave them alone!"

"Sally?" John turns to her and persuades her, "Sweetie, you supposed to be waiting at the parking lot. Let me take care of this."

"Stop this nonsense now or else," Sally warns.

"Or else what?"

"I'll be breaking up with you."

John tries to give out his excuses to justify his actions. "But Sally, they humiliated me…"

"So what? Then you are just going to turn against them?"

"What? No, of course not. Well, that goth classmate of ours really deserves a beating."

Suddenly, Sally slaps John's face, making everyone stunned at this feat.

"Sally? Wwwwwwhwhwhwhwhwat…?" John utters in disbelief, "I thought you promised not to hurt me. That was our vows."

At that distraction, the gang eventually escapes on a clean sweep.

"Well, you hurt my feelings right inside. It is done." And at that note, Sally walks away from John, who whines from this unbelievable turn of events. Danny aids him by his side, but John still cries like a baby.

The gang escapes via the fire exit backstage. But before they all escape, Sally catches up with Lars. "Hey, it was great seeing you perform."

"Thank you," Lars resolutely replies.

"Hey, take this with you." By her words, Sally kisses Lars on the cheek. "Take it as something to fulfill your night." After that, she walks away from the stage. In turn, Lars takes delight on this that he lets out a beam in response.

"Lars, aren't you coming?" Lynn asks him from behind.

"Hold on!" he utters back.


	22. Goodbye Brothers

The gang eventually made it to the rendezvous point where Levi already set up the portal creator, which looks like a giant laser gun.

"How are we doing Levi?" Lincoln asks.

"We're reaching unprecedented levels of power, beloved brethren," Levi analyzes, "Due to the amount of energy that was procured, we have exceeded levels of power required to refabricate the interdimensional portal to your respective realm of living."

"Which means?"

"We have more than enough power to bring you home."

"Okay let's do it!"

"But hold your horses Lincoln. We only have limited time duration as the power may diminish at any moment now. So better lay your farewells now."

At that news, Lincoln proceeds to express his gratefulness to his loved ones, starting with Bebe and Ronnie Anne.

"Hey, you're such a good jazz singer. Hope you continue with that," Lincoln compliments her.

"Oh thank you Lincoln," Bebe replies and embraces him.

"And please do take care of my brother."

"Don't worry little Loud. I always have my eyes on him."

Lincoln then turns to Ronnie Anne. "Ronnie Anne, I will still see you on the other side. Well, not other side like many people say. But you get my point…"

However, Ronnie Anne directly kisses him by the lips, having already gotten his point. His brothers hoot in response. "Just show yourself to me on the other side of how corny you are. That I can take."

"Thanks." Lincoln then proceeds to Clyde. "Clyde, you still have a counterpart on where I belong. And almost the same as you."

"So, no any other farewell messages then?" Clyde replies.

Lincoln eventually hugs him. "Thanks for always being there for me, my best man."

"Best man buddy!" The two then do a lengthier handshake, just to show how deep their friendship was.

Finally, the 11-year-old gives his farewells to his brothers. "Guys, I have to admit, I had fun with you at first. But you turned into the worst things ever."

"Point taken," Luke replies.

"But I realized, all of you are not bad as I thought you would all be."

"Awww…" the boys react.

"That's so dramatic I need to cry," Loni says and then blows his nose using Leon's diaper.

Starting from here, Lincoln gives out to his individual messages to his brothers.

"Leon, can't wait to see where you grow from here."

Leon replies by splurging more blueberries to him.

"Lexx and Leif, stay good as twins. You need each other."

"Aww, such sweet message," Lexx replies, "As long as Leif stops growing an earthworm colony under my bed!"

"I thought you like earthworms?" Leif asks.

"That was before!" Lexx vents.

"Loni, thanks for the haircut. Keep it up!"

"Awww. Glad you love it. I was going to try different style but I'm glad you like it," Loni replies.

"Lane, you're as funny as my funny sister. Can't wait to see what you'll do next."

"Me too bro! Maybe if I can drop some 'wait' now, you might see what. Hehehe. Get it?" Lane humorously replies.

"Lynn, well, you're basically like Lynn where I came from. So no surprise, but thanks for having my back."

"Oh bro, if there's one thing I would miss from you, it's this," Lynn implies by pulling Lincoln's pants down. "Just teasing bro. Good luck back there!"

"Levi, I know you are better than. I hope to see your name dubbed as a Nobel Peace Prize recipient."

"That's nice," Levi replies, "Now hurry up. You have one minute."

"Luke, it's an honor being taught under your wing in the School of Rock."

"The pleasure's all mine bro," Luke replies, then pounds on Lincoln's fist. "Just remember, music is not about being the best."

"I know bro." Lincoln then moves to Lars. "Lars, I know we cannot connect with all your gloominess. But I could not ask a better brother like you. You're still one of the bests."

"Lincoln…" Lars utters. Lincoln then embraces his younger brother. "Take care, Lars."

"May the souls of mercy guide you home."

"And Loki, after all this time, thank you for believing in me."

"Ehh, I have literally real trouble believing in you for the first time. But I have to admit, I am surprised by what you have done," Loki implies, making Lincoln smile at him, "You're full of surprises, Lincoln. And we would not forget that. All of us."

"Thanks! You too!"

"Well, there is one thing to left to do before you go back home."

"What is that?"

As agreed by Lincoln's brothers, Leif signals them, "Pile on Lincoln!" And with that, the Louds pile on Lincoln for one last time.

"You have to say the magic words, bro!" Lynn asserts.

"Alright uncle!" Lincoln spouts. But before the boys get off of him, they give out one last passing gas to their brother. "Great. Just all I need." Yet eventually, they give him an embrace, to his delight.

After that, the brothers help Lincoln gear up with a helmet and high-speeding rocket boots to get to his own dimension directly. Levi powers them, alongside the portal creator.

"Okay Lincoln, here's the gist. You power up the boots now," Levi instructs.

"Got it." Lincoln replies, switching on the boots, which are somehow connected by a plug.

"Alright, now once I pull the lever, the portal will appear. Then, press this button and you will speed directly to your own dimension. The portal can only last for ten seconds. So be precise. Good luck."

Before the operation begins, Lincoln gives one last farewell greeting to the gang, "I will miss you all! I will see you on the other side!"

"Goodbye Lincoln!" they all bid him goodbye.

At Lincoln's nod, he powers up the boots, and Levi pulls the lever to zap the interdimensional portal right in front of him. And as it appears, Lincoln immediately presses the button to launch himself to the portal, just in the same way as Michael J. Fox did in that 1985 sci-fi classic.

His brothers get closer on the field to witness this feat.

"Well, there goes our Lincoln," Loni says.

"Yeah, I literally wonder if we will lose Lincoln here," Loki replies.

Unbeknownst to them, they forget to unplug the power chord attached to Lincoln's boots. But at the last minute, Lexx notices they are standing above those wires.

"Uhmm guys, did we forgot to do something?" Lexx asks.

Exactly at that moment, the boys get their legs tied up on the wire and have themselves dragged along to Lincoln's launch. They scream at the top of their lungs as they and Lincoln brace to enter the portal, which gets obliterated immediately.

Clyde, Bebe and Ronnie Anne try to save them, but they are too late.

"Loki-bear! No!" Bebe shrieks.

"Oh my! The boys now are trapped to another dimension!" Clyde enunciates, "What we're going to do now?"

"The question is 'what are they gonna see in the other side?'" Ronnie Anne implies.

* * *

Just as Levi presumed, Lincoln goes directly to his own dimension. But as he lands on the carpeted floors of the halls, he inspects to ensure he arrived in the correct dimension.

"Finally home, but is it really home?" Lincoln utters. He then eventually spots a family picture, where he sees his very own family. "I can't believe in it! I am finally home!"

Suddenly, his sisters burst out from his room, hearing his voice.

"Lincoln, where have you been? We have been literally looking all over for you," Lori says worryingly.

But Lincoln embraces them all immediately. "Guys! I can't believe I'm back! I miss you so much!"

"Woohoo! Lincoln's back…from where?" Leni exclaims, then wonders.

"Yeah, welcome back, bro," Luna hesitatingly replies.

"Seriously Lincoln, what's on with you?" Lola asks.

"You wouldn't believe it guys," Lincoln shares, "On where I've been for the last few weeks."

"Well, it's plausible that you have that deduction after finding you for an hour," Lisa implies.

"Wait, does time operate differently in between dimensions?" Lincoln asks.

"Are you trying to imply that you have been to another dimension?" Lynn confronts him. But this becomes a subject of laughter for the Loud sisters.

"I tried explaining it but they heckled still," Lisa indicates.

"Well, I can prove that I've been to another dimension that has all of you as boys!" Lincoln states, but the girls brush this off.

Exactly at that moment, the Loud brothers arrive and collide towards the sisters.

"Awww…" both sides utter.

And as each party gets up from the collision, soon each Loud glance at each other's counterpart: Lori to Loki; Leni to Loni; Luna to Luke; Luan to Lane; Girl Lynn to Boy Lynn; Lucy to Lars; Lana to Leif; Lola to Lexx; Lisa to Levi; and also Lily to Leon. At this unbelievable feat that could not have happened, even in their wildest dreams, the Louds scream at each other in genuine shock.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…" they scream aloud, putting Lincoln at the center of this confrontation.

Nevertheless, Lincoln concludes this saga with a deep sigh and a closing statement. "Well, here we go again. At least things will go slightly normal. Remember to appreciate the things you have. And…" But their screams overshadow his closing. Thus, he turns back to the readers and says, "…And don't count much on Lisa's inventions. Stay safe." After that, Lincoln returns and takes hold of the situation to pacify his sisters and his brothers of this shocking confrontation.

 _And that concludes the Real Boys. Thank you._


	23. Bonus Chapter: Lincoln vs Lynn Part 1

At one simple night in the alternative dimension of Royal Woods, Lincoln and Clyde stroll on a dense part of the suburbs, which is where Royal Woods' richest residences are located. After school, Lincoln's brothers invite him for a surprise party. And never would Lincoln think that the venue of the proceedings would be at that area.

"Are you sure where we going?" Clyde asks.

"Just a few blocks left," Lincoln says while looking at a map, which is actually a print-screen photo from Google maps. "I know we just have to take a turn here."

But as Clyde glances on the map, he spots a deficiency on Lincoln's sense of directions. "Let me see. The scale is pretty much smaller here. We must pass ten more blocks and pass by an intersection, a grocery store, a retail store, a pie shop and a mansion."

"Dang it! I thought we're almost close!" Lincoln grunts.

"Just don't worry about it buddy," Clyde assures, "If we just follow the direction of these shops, we'll get there in no time. My GPS could help."

"Why didn't we use that in the first place?"

"I have to save up battery so I can get a ride home. But it looks like I still have 25% left. Come on Lincoln!"

Even with Clyde's enthusiasm, Lincoln still feels down of the directions they need to trek. "Should have caught up with Loki at school. He has the van."

Just like that, the boys follow Clyde's directions, which take them in a long stroll to their destination. It is unknown to Lincoln as to what is the destination. Loki just indicated to Lincoln that the brothers will throw a "surprise" party at a big empty house. Though vague, Lincoln reluctantly accepts their invitation.

The longer their walk goes, the more exhausted the two best friends get. Though Clyde turns off his phone at the last minute, they finally make it at the road turning to their destination. However, the houses they pass through are too identical. And it does not help that there are no street lights along the way.

"I guess we're here," Lincoln says after consulting the map.

"Well, I just we have to search each one," Clyde suggests.

"Man, if they could just have given me specific details about the location, then our walk wouldn't have been this inconvenient," Lincoln grumbles.

"But have you searched about the location?" Clyde asks.

"I did. But they all look the same for real."

"Well, I guess we have to check each one."

As they are inspecting each house, the boys suddenly hear loud frat boy-like hollers from one house. Though, one mansion on the other end has a wilder party, but only featuring white collar workers. For that case, Lincoln and Clyde check out the other house with the other commotion. Fortunately, the gate leading to the garage is open for them.

Lincoln steps in to check, though Clyde feels hesitant to follow.

"Lincoln, I don't think it is a good idea to enter someone else's house," Clyde advises.

However, Lincoln recognizes the noises coming from the house, suggesting it should be his brothers. "Well, it wouldn't bother if we check it out."

As Lincoln and Clyde slowly enter the compound, everything looks obscure from the darkness around. Only a beige yard lantern is visible in their direction. They tread the path, and sense a pool on their right side when they hear splashes of water and horseplay on there. Lincoln's senses are confirmed when he sees a pool from his side and boys horsing around.

"I think this is…" Lincoln declares.

But he gets interrupted when Lincoln's brothers notice him. "LINCOLN!"

"Hey guys," Lincoln nervously greets them back as he gets splashed with pool water.

"Hey, Clyde is here too!" Loni says.

"Join us bro!" Luke invites him.

But Clyde spots Loki glaring at him suspiciously, making him recoil from Lincoln. "No thanks. I'll just go home. Might be late for my curfew," he utters. "See you buddy!" With that, Clyde quickly leaves.

"Come on bro! You're just on time for our pool games!" Luke says to Lincoln as he leads him to the pool.

"Why of all the places, you have to party at the far side of home?" Lincoln asks, "And what's with the celebration that I never know of?"

"Oh, you must have dozed off when Loki told the boys," Luke replies.

"I don't remember dozing off, do I?" Lincoln then recalls at that time in the living room, when the boys gathered to binge-watch _Black Mirror_ in Netflix. He suddenly remembered that Loki announced to the boys of the largest bonus he has received in direct selling. Though, he dozed off before he could hear the rest of the story.

"You've been such a sleepyhead lately." Luke then explains what lead to the party, "Well, we all know that Loki had his bonus. So, we decide to celebrate it on a road trip. But Loni can't because he has to housesit for a friend he has in geometry class. So, we took advantage of that."

"So wait, the party is meant to be for Loki. But we are also house-sitting it?" Lincoln asks.

"More likely, yes," Luke confirms. "Come on bro! Just an overnight, what could go wrong?"

Right now, the boys are doing their own businesses: Loki is at the grill, cooking exotic kebabs, hamburgers and chicken barbecue; Loni is playing air hockey with Lars; Luke, Lane, Lynn and Leif are playing the pool; Lexx and Leon are relaxing by the nearby Jacuzzi; and Levi is experimenting with fruits, artificial flavoring and food additives for his smoothie. And all of them are in their summer getup.

Lincoln first places his stuff in the pool house and charges his phone. The 11-year-old is initially hesitant to join his brothers to their rough play. But realizing that he also went through with this kind of playfulness from his sisters, he feels indifferent suddenly.

Nonetheless, he steps out of the house on his floral shirt and shorts and hangs out at the food table, where Loki has prepared plates of corn-on-a-cob, kebabs, hamburgers, grilled chicken, fries, chips, nachos, salmon and bratwursts. Though, the boys gobbled up most of the food. Thankfully, there is leftover fruit cake at the middle.

"Why there is fruit cake here?" Lincoln asks.

"Oh, mom gave that to us as a gift," Loki answers, "She couldn't find any chocolate cake. So, she got that."

Lincoln then takes a slice of the cake, one kebab stick and morsels of the chicken, chips and fries for dinner. Now he knows how the boys would eat at parties.

Lynn then calls him from the pool, "Lincoln! We're waiting for you! Come join us at the pool!"

"No thanks guys. I'm eating," Lincoln says, even though he is about to finish his plate.

"Oh come on, we are waiting for you till this moment," Leif adds.

"Yeah, don't make us 'pool' you out of your seat," Lane follows it up with a pun. "Get it?"

"No thanks guys."

With his reluctance, Loki decides to squirt him with his water gun to make him. "Come on bro. It's my party, and you're part of it."

"Loki, I want to but I am…"

Suddenly, Lars joins Loki in shooting water at Lincoln. "Your risk, Lincoln."

"Guys, you can't make me…"

But the two brothers keep shooting water until Lincoln backs off from his seat and retreats backwardly till he reaches the edge of the pool.

"Okay guys. Quit it!"

And at one water shot, Lincoln falls to the pool, making his brothers rejoice. Loki, Loni, Lars and Levi follow suit to the pool.

Luke lifts up Lincoln from the deep. "Welcome to the bro. Just in time for Lincoln in the middle."

"Yeah!" the boys cheer.

"Wait, Lincoln in the middle?" Lincoln reacts as he sees his brothers forming a circle.

"Looks like Lincoln gets circled around," Lexx comments. He then lifts Leon to his shoulders. "Why don't we go there and enjoy the torture?"

Leon giggles a yes to Lexx.

"Lincoln, you know the drill!" Lynn says.

"Wait, drill?" Without Lincoln noticing, Loni throws a ball to Lynn, to which he throws to Lars. Lincoln tries to grab hold of the ball, but the boys prevent him from doing so. And there starts their game of "Lincoln in the Middle". "Come on guys! Give me the ball!"

"Catch it if you can!" Luke taunts.

After several passes from his brothers, the ball lands back at Lynn's hand. "Get ready to rumble bro!"

At that moment, Lincoln ponders to himself, "Man, why do my brothers love rough-housing around me? Do I like this game, prior to getting here? One thing to find out". He then shouts to Lynn, "Yo Lynn! You sure an expert in 'monkey in the middle'."

"'Lincoln in the middle bro. As called by Leif," Lynn corrects.

"Right. Might I ask is this the only game you are good at?"

"What you talking about Lincoln? You know me."

"Ohh yeah? Why don't you prove it now?"

"No Lynn! He's literally tricking you!" Loki warns his brother.

"Relax bro. I'm a pro at this," Lynn assures. But he slowly relaxes before he throws the ball to Lexx on the other side. However, with Lynn's relaxed pass, Lincoln grabs hold of the ball, which surprises the boys.

"What?!"

"Looks like you're 'it'!" Lincoln declares.

Just like that, Lynn has his jaws drop of his brother's exploit.

"I'll tell you what Lynn. We finish this game. And we compete who's better," Lincoln proposes.

And with that, Lynn accepts his brother's challenge. "Alright, I'm in!"


	24. Bonus Chapter: Lincoln vs Lynn Part 2

The showdown between Boy Lynn and Lincoln just gets intense. And the brothers watch in gritting excitement of seeing their brothers pit against each other, in typical man-boy fashion.

For the first round, Leif suggests for the two to stick a cicada on their face for a duration of time. The one who has the insect on their face the longest wins the round. As rash as it may seem, the boys agree. Thus, Lincoln and Lynn has a cicada crawl on them, while their brothers cheer and brash them.

"Go, go, go!" they shout.

But Lincoln gets annoyed. "Guys, quiet down." At that time, the cicada sneaks to Lincoln's nose bridge and flutters its wings. Lincoln gets tickled in the process.

As for Lynn's side, he keeps on blowing towards the sides of the insect to evade the ticklish sensation that the insect might have on him. It is safe to say that Lynn finds this easy.

However, for Lincoln, he finds this as an obstacle as he fears of the insect biting him. Just as that fear escalates, Lincoln screams, "Ahhh! Get it off! Get it off!"

At that signal, Luke raises Lynn's fist and declares him, "Winner!" And the boys lift up Lynn in victory.

But Lincoln challenges him more. "Is that all you can do Lynn? Bring it on!"

"Woah oh! Are you testing me Lincoln?" Lynn asks fiercely.

"We'll see about that," Lincoln replies. And from there, the boys begin their series of showdowns.

The boys contend on who can drink a made-up shake (composing of egg yolks, chicken strips, potatoes, garlic, tomato sauce, peels from fruits and broccoli) the fastest. Lincoln nearly chokes at the middle part; thus, Lynn wins the round.

Next, the boys compete on who can place the most cherries inside their mouth. The two Loud brothers get off in an easy start, but Lincoln starts to hold everything when he stuffs the 42nd cherry. So, the 13-year-old athlete exceeds him and succeeds with 63 cherries, which he swallowed altogether.

Succeeding from there, Lincoln and Lynn get into a challenge where they drink two glasses of milk and one bottle of Coke and are spun to a desk chair. The one who holds their barf for the longest wins. Unsurprisingly, Lincoln hurls first, feeling the same sensation from the cherries challenge, prompting Lynn to win.

And finally, the two duke it out to see who can stay long standing while balancing at a stool and carrying load on a balancing beam. Not having much of an athletic body, Lincoln predictably falls first, making Lynn (you get the drill) claim victory. With that, the boys celebrate.

But Lincoln refuses to accept defeat. "Hey Lynn, is that all you can do?"

"Lincoln, deal with it. I beat you. So there's nothing you can do about it," Lynn brags.

"Well, are there any other stuff that you think you can beat me at?"

"Why…of course! I beat you all!"

"What about comics? Do you know how to write and draw comic books?"

"Wha…no, but…"

"What about scrabble?"

"Hey, I can do scrabble!"

"Bookworm? Chess? Checkers? Risk? E-games?"

"Not fair! I said I can beat you athletically, not intelligently."

"When did you ever say that?"

Feeling that his brother is cornering him, Lynn grumbles heavily. "Are you threatening me?"

"I am just asking, Lynn. If you think you are better than me in everything – and I mean everything – why don't you really prove it to me? I say we continue the showdown."

At that invitation, Lynn accepts with determination and resumes their competition.

For the next challenge, Lincoln and Lynn play jenga blocks. Initially, both players are in good hands. But because of being a robust competitor, Lynn is having a hard time taking out several blocks from below. Frustrated, he takes one out of spite and crumbles the entire jenga tower, prompting Lincoln to win.

The next game involves the two brothers on discus throwing, with the aim of exceeding a distance out of the mansion premises. Of course, being the know-it-all in every sports available, Lynn sees this as an advantage. Thus, he effortlessly throws the disc, as it finishes at the top of the fence. The boys applaud at this feat. But as Lincoln steps in, he plots out first the distance and the outcome of the projectile, in order to outpace Lynn's throw. Sure enough, he does so as it reaches beyond the fence. That makes 2-5.

"Comeback is real," Lincoln utters, signaling for the showdown to commence.

In the subsequent game, Lincoln and Lynn face off for foosball. Though Lynn is active in soccer, he occasionally tried foosball. Nevertheless, the "true" athlete sees this as an advantage. Though little does he know that Lincoln frequently plays the game itself with Clyde. After Lynn goes frantic on the proceedings, Lincoln succeeds with a goal.

Not quitting yet at the upcoming game, the boys engage at cup stacking. Neither brothers are experts or experienced in this field. But they give it a go. Due to his franticness, Lynn has a hard time stacking, making him crush the cups with his bare hands. By default, Lincoln wins.

On the next contest, the two go mellow for this time and play Pacman on their Nintendo DS. This was because the two failed to agree on playing the board game Risk when Lynn claimed that he despises strategic board games that require "brain effort and arm restraints". The catch at this moment is for one to score the highest points. Unsurprisingly, Lincoln wins.

"All tied!" Leif announces, "How should we put this up?"

"How about table tennis? Table tennis usually is tense and competitive," Loki suggests.

"But where can we get a table? Or paddles?" Lynn raises.

"How about tag?" Loni suggests.

"Loni, are you literally stupid or something?" Loki asks.

"Yes!" Loni absentmindedly replies.

"Nincompoop," Levi reacts. "I would suggest an appropriate knowledge-based challenge as the ultimate contender." But the brothers disagree.

"How about a hardcore rock competition?" Luke recommends.

"Luke, remember the last time we have one of those?" Loki shares.

"Or maybe last man standing in the dark?" Lars proposes.

"I don't know about you, but I find that non-séance. Hehehe. Get it?" Lane jokes.

"How about sword fighting?" Lexx brings up. "Of course, I will be the victor because I'm the worthiest of you all commoners."

"Boo Lexx! Boo!" Leif hoots, "Sword fighting is nothing from mud wrestling!"

But at Leif's suggestion, Loki hatches an idea. "Hmmm. Got it. Thanks Leif. I literally know just the thing that you two can pit against."

"Oh yeah! I'm in!" Lynn growls.

"Wait, does that involve wrestling? Because I'm not good in wrestling," Lincoln says nervously.

But Loki can only respond in his evil sneer, just thinking of what the two boys can compete on as a final judgment. And thus he pits the two for…


	25. Bonus Chapter: Lincoln vs Lynn Part 3

…a quiz show. But there is a twist: the boys must stand atop of a pile of embers.

Both Lincoln and Boy Lynn are stunned at this challenge.

"Are we gonna stand right on top of that?" Lynn asks, pointing out of the charring fumes of the embers.

"Yes, literally any problem with that?" Loki intimidates them.

"Is this even necessary?" Lincoln asks.

"Not to worry," Lynn brags to hide his nervousness. "It is just a pile of hot rocks. Athletes use it for therapy. What could possibly go wrong?"

Just as he said that, Lynn steps on one hot pumice stone and burns his foot. "AHHHH!" He tries to cool if off by fanning it and blowing wind to his foot, only to be relieved by Lane pouring pool water on him.

"Oh my bad. Sorry that we put you in hot 'water'. Hehehe. Get it?" Lane jokes.

"Alright! Enough of the lollygagging and let's begin," Lexx commences.

And with that, Lincoln and Lynn step into position before the pile, and Loki starts with the quiz.

"Okay, here's the deal. Answer the question instantly once I asked it. Fastest to get ten points wins. Anyone who gets out of the pile instantly loses by default. Winner takes all. But the important thing here is to literally have fun."

"Yeah, like you call this fun?" Lynn grumbles.

"Don't worry, we'll be having fun…watching you get scorched," Lars mocks him.

"Oh, will you quit that?" Lynn reprimands.

"Oh, you don't know how long I am waiting for this day to come," Lars slyly says.

"Okay, step in the rocks!" Luke says to them, which Lincoln and Lynn reluctantly do. The intense heat from the rocks directly prickles the feet of the boys. But they would not quit this time.

Luke then begins the round, "First question: what is the color of an eggplant?"

"Purple!" Lincoln shouts the answer.

"One point for Lincoln!"

It is Leif's turn to ask. "What was signed on July 4, 1776?"

"Declaration of Independence!" Lynn belches.

"Score one for Lynn."

After Leif, Lane takes center stage and presents the next question. "If lightning strikes an orchestra, who is most likely to get hit?"

"What the heck kind of question is that?!" Lynn complains.

"The conductor!" Lincoln exclaims the answer.

"Lincoln got the joke. Hahaha!"

With Lane done, Loni comes next to dictate the next question. "Who painted Mona Lisa? Really?"

"The Grinch-y!" Lynn screams his answer, while trying to stop Lincoln from answering.

"It's Da Vinci!" Lincoln correctly answers.

But Loni is having trouble on his own. "I don't understand this. Why would anybody paint Mona Lisa? She has no right to be painted. She must need good clothes and clean makeup. The one who painted her face is a bastard!"

Just at Loni's dumbfounded revelation, the boys slap their faces out of vexation.

"Sheesh, we have a lineup of quiz questions that even toddlers can answer, and then we have Loni finding out this 'mind-boggling truth'," Levi comments, "Do you juvenile comrades even now how a quiz show must be conducted?"

Timely, it is Levi's turn to ask a question. "Okay, since the questions so far have been ridiculous, I shall consult one question out of my own arsenal. What is the approximate distance between the moon and the Earth?"

Both are baffled at Levi's science-related question. Lincoln has no idea what the answer is, since it has not been tackled in his class. But Lynn tries to intensely recall the science period lectures that he slept over, just to get the answer.

Lincoln notices Lynn having a hard time thinking. But more noticeably, he recognizes his feet attaining redness from the burning rocks. The heat gets intense that Lynn suddenly loses balance. But he gets up immediately. He looks onto his feet to see an abrasion on his sole. He utters to himself, "Okay Lynn, you can do this. Just…get on…with it…You still have…jogging…" But the pain gets worse from there.

On hindsight, Lincoln sympathizes with Lynn's plight. Not wanting his brother to face the doom of practicing with injured feet, Lincoln places several rocks to his feet to feel the pain. He screams at the top of his lungs, making him skip away from the pile and jump to the pool.

"Ahhh! It burns!" Lincoln bellows intentionally.

"Lincoln just lost just like that," Leif states.

"Well, at least we know who the winner is," Luke concludes.

And with that, the Loud brothers lift up Lynn to celebrate his victory. "Lynn! Lynn! Lynn! Lynn! Lynn!"

"You're the best Lynn!" Loni squeals as the boys carry him back to the mansion to continue their celebration.

Lincoln ascends from the pool and spots the brothers. Taking a dive for his brother is not that rewarding. But Lincoln is glad that he did one act of kindness to his brother without expecting anything in return.

However, Levi gets left behind and recognizes Lincoln having ascended at the pool. "I knew your personal instincts would get in the way," he comments.

"It's not an instinct. It's a decision. I decided that Lynn needs his feet for soccer practice. So I gave myself up for him," Lincoln says.

"Same thing. Just the general juxtaposition of philia," the 4-year-old genius shares, "It is all in the cardiovascular system, brethren. That's why it is a waste."

"You wouldn't know that, unless you know it is true," Lincoln replies.

"Rid of the clichés, Lincoln."

Shortly after, Lynn walks back to Lincoln. "Hey…" He then reaches out to Lincoln, ready to give a handshake to him. "Not bad."

Heartfelt by his salute to him, Lincoln shakes the hand of Lynn, prompting the brothers to cheer further.

"But I still best you though. So there!" Lynn brags.

"You wouldn't even beat me for Da Vinci," Lincoln brags back.

"Yeah, let's not bring him to the picture."

"Alright, why don't we end the night with a game of Uno cards!" Lincoln suggests to his brothers, which they excitedly agree.

"Main catch, biggest loser gets to be thrown to the pool! Good?" Loki insists. So the Louds rush back to the mansion to kick off one game of Uno. Nights have never been fun with the Loud brothers.

* * *

 _ **If you like to see more adventures with the Loud brothers, do feel free to suggest.**_

* * *

Eventually, Lexx gets carried by Lane and Luke, and they both throw him to the pool.


	26. A Real Boys Holiday

Winter is forecasted to fall in Royal Woods, Michigan. And Lincoln readies himself for a chilly but snuggly weather. With his furry slippers, his orange pajamas, his earmuffs and his thick blanket, he is ready for the winter season, most likely Christmas.

"It's really the most wonderful time of the year," Lincoln says to the readers of this piece. "And it is just so fresh to experience Christmas every time of the year. And from what happened last year, when we helped Mr. Grouse for his Christmas, we changed some of our rituals this year, like Lana taking home an actual reindeer she won from the school fair. Let's see how she's doing."

Lincoln then peeks from the window to see Lana feeding her reindeer with a carrot. The mud fanatic tries so hard to catch the attention of her new pet. But the reindeer is more interested on her scarf that it tries to bite it off her neck. Then, it becomes a tug-of-war for the two of them.

"Well, we'll see where it goes from there," Lincoln narrates. "There's also Lisa, trying to study the psychological allegories of some Christmas specials to politics. And Leni taking away some clothes for charity. Though, she's having a hard time with it."

He then peeks to Leni's room, where he sees his sister having a tricky time sorting out her clothes. "I think this shirt is good to go, and all of last year's wear can stay…for the meantime," she thinks. But when Leni looks back, she realizes she is going to give away only one clothing. "No! This is too hard!"

"Well, she's doing her best." Lincoln then goes on with his narration. "There's pretty neat stuff that the whole Loud family is doing for this special Christmas. I think mom will be serving her own recipe of eggnog, and dad will be hosting a dad's Christmas workshop, which is weird. I don't see dad doing crafts. Oh, and Luna is leading carolers, and they will be caroling for the entire month."

The enthusiastic boy then checks out Luna, who is conducting her chorale, comprising of Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola, Rusty, Liam, Geo, Cliff and Charles.

"That's very good, dudes. Keep with the tune," she directs.

Just as the choir sing with their hearts on a solemn rendition of "Silent Night", Luna suddenly burst into action and shred her guitar to the beat.

Immediately, her choir gets distracted since Luna's sudden riff literally blow them away.

"Luna! I thought we're doing carols, not rock songs!" Lola scolds her.

"Sorry, got so blown away, dudette," Luna says. "But I can't stop the feeling!" She shreds one more time, blowing them away more.

That is enough to infuriate Lola one more time and make her beat up Luna again. The rest of the girls suddenly join along, creating a fight cloud. It also causes for their pets to join along for some reason.

"Do you think we made the right decision?" Liam asks to Rusty.

"Well, we tried, but let's give them time," Rusty responds, with the two of them tiptoeing away from the scene.

Though Lincoln is kind of baffled, he just shrugs it off as normal. "Well, there's a lot of neat stuff I can't wait for Christmas. Now I just wonder how do other people celebrate Christmas, or other creatures, or other dimensions." After he says that, one thought sparks on Lincoln's mind. "Speaking of which…"

He then heads to his room and scans through his drawer to recover the dimension-jumping watch that he wore previously. "I still keep this baby around. After the boys suddenly drop by here from escaping the other dimension, we agreed to never speak of it again. Then, we led their back to the other dimension. Lisa didn't ask back the watch. So I kept it, and it still works." He then switches the watch on to demonstrate it that is still can create the dimension-hopping portal. "Right now, I'm going back for a Christmas trip."

Lincoln then touches the said portal to check of its safety. When ready, he steps closer, and whoop he travels from his own dimension to back on the boys' dimension. And per usual, he lands right on the floor of the bedroom hall.

"Ouuuuchhh…" Lincoln tries to get back from falling head first. But after shaking off his head, he notices the falling snow outside from the window. He gets a closer, seeing that the winter wonderland landscape is no different from the winter he has back. "It's really snowing here."

Happiness comes to his soul whenever a gentle snow like this would fall on a fine day. And feeling the glee, Lincoln shouts out, "Hey guys! It's snow day! It's snow day!"

Right on time, Boy Lynn wakes up from his invigorating slumber. "What is it now, bro?! I was having the best dream ever! Winning some chicks and stuff…"

"Lynn, it's snow day!" Lincoln tells his brother.

"Wait, did you say 'snow day'?"

"Uh-uh. Snow day!"

Hearing that, Boy Lynn picks up the idea of what to do on such a special day. "Ho-oh, this is going to be fun!"

But Lincoln backs out from his excitement when he heard Lynn's threatening tone. He utters, "What's fun?"

With a sneer on his face, Boy Lynn pulls out his air horn and sounds off his other brothers. Because in the all-boys Loud house, a sound of an air horn means "snow day".

And Lincoln would never foresee what happens next when Boy Lynn sends out the signal, the boys burst out of their rooms immediately on their winter gear, and they all race downstairs on their own means: Loki and Loni on their own winter ATVs, Luke and Lane on a bobsled, Lars on his ski bindings, Lexx on ice skates, Leif on a sled, and Levi and Leon on a slow plow. And all at once, they never notice Lincoln on their way down that the latter gets bumped to any of them.

"Feeling good, bro?" Boy Lynn sarcastically asks.

"Man, does this always happen every winter?" Lincoln responds.

"Still not gotten over it, I see." Lynn then snickers as his about to do the unpredictable. "Well, better see this coming." Suddenly, he then flips to unleash his foldable snowboard out of his feet that knocked Lincoln downstairs. And after wearing his goggles and winter cap, the enthusiastic athlete slides from the staircase, pushing Lincoln with him, and makes it out of the house for Lincoln to be tossed out of his board and into the snow. But Lynn makes a safe landing with several flips. "Yep, you should be winter-ready, bro. Hahaha!"

"I am winter ready…bro!" Lincoln whines. However, he is indeed not, with his PJs and slippers to boot. "Sheesh, can winter really be this rough?"

Ironically enough, snow suddenly is blown to where he is standing. It turns out to be coming from Levi, whose snowplow also works as a snow blower. And from the looks on his cab, he is chilling around, pun intended.

Immediately, Lincoln emerges out of the pile of snow and retreats to the living room for warmth. The freezing temperatures are crawling around his body. He keeps chattering, even as he goes near the fireplace. Hints of freezing (like the icicle cartoon effect) is surrounding his body. "Man…this sure…isn't what…I'm…expecting. Is there anything new that is something that my sisters would not do?"

Timely enough, a big bump trembles the household. Lincoln looks outside to find the source of the snow rumble, only to see his older brothers on the backyard attempting to do extreme stuff under the weather. After Loni and Luke sculpt a makeshift slide (a concave one, instead of a uniform slope) made out of snow, Loki gets to the top of the roof with a snowboard and lies prone on the board. The 11-year-old boy realizes that his brother is attempting to do a stunt since Lane is recording this.

"Hello, Lane here! This is Jack-loud here!" Lane films himself, "And there's my brother on the roof. Shall he knock down the three snowmen here? We're about to find out!"

When Boy Lynn gives out the signal, Loki slides down head first, making him hover for a moment until he lands on the right-side snowman.

"Gwoood!" Loki shouts. But apparently, he loses the stunt, and he is punished by snowballs from his brothers.

Loni gets the second attempt, but after an effective glide, he hovers away from the snowmen and lands on the snow-covered bushes. As agreed, he gets punished via snowball fight.

Luke gets the third attempt and – would not you know it – he only hits the middle snowmen and loses. Cue punishment via snowballs.

Lane gets the fourth attempt and does a little exhibition on his sliding. But as predictable as it is, he ends up missing the snowmen and only lands in front of them. The board only hit the snow sculpture, but that does not count. Immediately, he gets hit with snowballs.

Boy Lynn gets the fifth attempt. And seeing his from his skills in sports, the boys would expect a performance-level stunt from their athletic brother. And their predictions are answered when Lynn makes a direct glide on the slope and positions himself horizontally to knock down the snowmen. But he only knocks down two of them. So, he gets the short end of the stick, just like the other brothers.

"So, that literally makes five," Loki utters. "I wonder who's next."

"Oooh, I bet 'next' must be a cool guy," Loni wonders in a clueless way. Loki's facepalm says it all.

"Haha! That's a cool zinger! Haha! Double whammy! Get it?" Lane snickers.

"I bet we all know who, bros," Luke sneers evilly.

And all of the older brother's heads turn to poor Lincoln.

Lincoln gulps in fear.


	27. A Real Boys Holiday Part 2

Lincoln fully realizes that he is now a target. He tries to intervene to his brothers, "Guys chill, I don't think I'm worthy of being snowboarded to a horde of snowman. So I might as well chill in my bed. Hehe. Get it? Because…anyway…"

He tries to escape, but he gets stopped by Boy Lynn who appeared behind him out of thin air. "Oh no way you're going anywhere, bro." The athlete sneers evilly to his wimpy brother.

Lincoln really knows that he is in trouble that when he looks behind, his older brothers are holding snowballs on their hands.

"Hey guys, we should be civil about this…"

But his pleads don't work. Loki then signals his brothers, "Get him!"

The brothers throw snowballs to their white-haired brother. Lynn tries to catch him, but Lincoln dodges him in time to escape through the stairs. Loki, Loni, Luke, Lane and Boy Lynn chase him from behind.

In time, Lincoln locks himself inside of his room. He immediately barricades the door with wood and every lock he can find, and blocks every passage way that his brothers may sneak in: the windows, the air vents and even the heater pipes.

"There, safe and sound at last," Lincoln utters.

As expected, the older Loud brothers try to push the door out of its barricades, which scares the poor boy.

Because of this, Lincoln pushes his shelf and his bed to block the door evenly. He brings his force into action as he pushes the furniture against the door.

"Oh, you're not literally going away that easily, browski," Loki pesters him.

"Yeah browski! You Russian hahaha!" Loni teases as well, but dumber. "See? Because the president of Russia has no hair? Haha!" And that happened.

"What Loni meant to say is there is snow way you can get out of this, Lincoln," Lane teases him, "Hahaha. Get it?"

"Awww…is our little bro too cold to be playing with us, outside?" Luke mocks him with a sneer.

"Stop it with the ice puns, guys!" Lincoln replies to them.

"Hey you heard that bros, 'we should stop with the ice puns'," Loki mocks him, which the brothers take it not so seriously.

"Icy what you did there," Lane quips, to which the boys laugh at.

"Man, I thought this guys had a change of heart," Lincoln thinks to himself, "But I think seasons change." He then realizes he made a ghastly pun, to which he palms himself for that. "What to do?"

And at that moment, Lars shows up from out of nowhere. "Maybe you could hail them with grandeur."

Of course, just like Lars' counterpart, Lincoln gets scared of his sudden appearance. "Lars, do you always do that?"

"Deal with it. It's part of my physiology, according to Levi," Lars utters. "As I was saying, you could hail them with grandeur."

"What are you talking about?" Lincoln asks.

"Maybe you could trick them with enticing words. Then lead them to a trap where in the end, they fell for their own trap."

"That sounds possible, but how will I lure them to a trap that they…set? Is that what you were talking about?"

"That is correct."

"Could do? But how could I trust you? How do I know that you are not in cahoots with the other brothers?"

"See the snowball behind me?"

Lincoln then glances on Lars' melting snowball that he is hiding from behind.

"I could have thrown this at you, but I might as well make Lynn the butt of the joke. He threw a snowball to Edwina, and she was in pain."

"Well, I guess we're in the same page?"

"That is right. But for now. I needed a snowball fight in the end."

"That's a deal." Then, Lincoln shakes Lars' hand to certify their agreement. But what he does not realize is that Lars crosses his fingers from behind. He really is in cahoots with the older brothers. Or is he?

* * *

Nevertheless, after a moment of "evaluation", the 11-year-old kid gets along with his brother's scheme to trick his elder brothers. "Hey guys, I will step out now. For real. I will open this door and get out of this room."

Hearing that, the boys stop the banging.

"Really bro?" Luke answers from the other side of the door. "You swear?"

"Yes bro, I will get out of this room. And will step into the snowboard, just like you wanted," Lincoln says with an unconfident tone.

"Is that literally so?" Loki sneers back. "Fine. We'll wait here outside. And you open the door and step out. We're waiting here." He gets backed with the older brothers who snickered like villainous henchman.

Nervously, Lincoln clears up the passageway before the door, then releases every lock on the door, until he ultimately opens the door to see his brothers grinning at him.

"What are you waiting for? Snow got your tongue? Hahaha!" Loni mocks him, though stupidly.

"Uhmm what's the punchline in there?" Lynn wonders.

"What punchline? I never even punched. Hahaha!"

That is enough to annoy Boy Lynn. But he immediately redirects his attention to his poor brother. "Anyway, bro, what are you waiting for?"

"Uhhhh…ooookay…" Lincoln moves nervously away from his room as his brothers watch his every move.

"Don't be shy. It's just snow," Loki insists.

"It's just part of what's being a real man," Lynn emphasizes with a spit from his face.

Slowly but surely, Lincoln tiptoes his way out. His cautiousness takes a toll on him when his brothers give an assuring but threatening impression. His plan right now is to lure his brothers away from the snow ramp and trap them collectively. And he does not know at this point who should he trust completely.

That gets resolved however when he continues to walk to his brother, Leif gives him a thumbs-up signal.

"Let's go," Loki sneers.

Lynn then proceeds to Lincoln's room to check on his brother Lars since he bribed him to go on with their scheme, just to fool around Lincoln. Lars accepted in the condition that he and the younger brothers would not go on the same snowboarding fate as Lincoln. Thus, Lynn accepted, but Lars had other plans.

"Lars?" Lynn calls him out, only to see Lars tied up. "Lars!" Immediately, the Boy Lynn unties his brother from his bindings. "What happened? Who did this to you? Did Lincoln did?!"

Lars then points his head towards the window.

"Did he get out of the window?" Lynn then checks out the window to not seeing any sign but the wintery backyard and the neighborhood. "I don't see anything!" What he does not notice is Levi's large snow blower which has a nozzle that points directly at him.

"You now," Lars utters.

And with that, the engine blows an inevitable amount of snow at Lynn. The process stops when the snow blower completely freezes the athletic Loud.

Lars, unfazed, then gives a signal to snow blower, which is of course operated by Levi.

"Is he completely inanimate?!" Levi asks out loud to his brother.

"He is frozen," Lars answers.

"Great! He will just be in a temporary suspended state," the genius brother assures. "But we need to execute the plan now!"

"Where do I put him?"

"In my room!"

Following his instruction, Lars sneakily carries a frozen Lynn to Levi's bedroom for keeps till their ultimate plan. Leif assists him along the way.

"This will show those donut holes who are the real bosses for wrecking our snow fort!" Leif utters.

"Still can't get over that?" Lars replies.

"Bro, I planned it last year's autumn. And I waited till the very first day of winter, just to create it. And they ruined it! And now, we won't make them!"

"That's it," Lars confides.


	28. A Real Boys Holiday Part 3

Back at Lincoln, he feels more of a brotherly prisoner than just a brother as Loki, Loni, Luke and Lane guide him downstairs and towards the snowy outdoors. He is not sure of the plans from the younger siblings, yet he goes along with the flow of feigning to his older brothers' intentions.

They proceed to the kitchen door until a knock comes on the front door.

"What the? Someone's literally knocking on this time of day?" Loki wonders.

"I'll get it!" Loni happily replies, skipping to the door as he does. When he opens it, he sees a box package that is addressed to him. "Hey guys! I got a package!" He then reads the label, " _For you, Loni. There is snow way you're smart._ Hahaha! The box is so funny!"

"Hey! Now somebody's doing the fun for me!" Lane complains, "Now I feel cold. Hehehe. Get it?"

But the oldest brother raises suspicions. "Loni, drop the package now!"

"Oh come on. I have a package! What could possibly go wrong?" Loni then unwraps the box, only for a claw to be unleashed out of the carton and to grab Loni by his shirt to throw him to the snow.

"LONI!" the older boys scream.

"I'll save ya!" Luke hollers, charging to the claw and grappling it with his arms. Although he has a grip on the device, the door shuts itself, locking him and Loni outside. "Hey! Let me in!" But the claw quickly grabs Luke and swings him to the same position Loni gets slide in.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the remaining boys scream.

Lane squeals to Loki, "What are we going to do, bro?! We're going to die!"

With a slap to his face to snap him out, Loki convinces him, "Chill bro! We're literally not in a horror movie! We'll just stay foot and never get scared!"

Just untimely, the group hears a wolf's growl from upstairs. From the sound of it, it sounds like that it is getting louder and giving the impression that it is encroaching them.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The boys then rush out of the door. And immediately, rounds of snowballs are being hit towards Lane. They are almost like machine gun rounds, hitting Lane continuously. "This…ain't…cool…man…Get it?!" After he said that ice pun, Lane gets a fatal hit to his head.

Loki comes to his aid, "No bro! Don't die for me!"

Then, in dramatic fashion, Lane utters this, "Bro…it is…so…ice…to be your big brother…" And he faints comically as more snowballs are being projected to their direction.

"LANE NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

After Loki does his best impression of Darth Vader growling the most embarrassing out-of-character line ever, Lincoln ruins the moment. "Quit with the drama. He just fainted. Lane is fine."

Because of that, Loki grows a bit of rage that he shows to his little brother.

"Uhmm...bro…" Lincoln responds, "I'm not saying we should abandon Lane. I'm just…"

"AHHHHHH!" Immediately, the older Loud brother grabs Lincoln by his shoulders and lifts him up to shield himself from the attacking snowballs. Thus, the hurtling spherical slushes enter his mouth.

Eventually, seeing his mouth filled up, Loki turns his brother to his back, allowing a better shield but causing Lincoln to spit out all of the snowballs in his mouth to his brother.

Loki then aggressively throws his brother aside and leaps to attack the snowball shooter. He has the opportunity until he suddenly lands to a frozen pool below. The frozen water is not deep. But it instantly causes for the poor old brother to freeze him in any moment. Despite trying to get out of the subzero temperature, he turns to an icicle.

The mission has been accomplished by none other than the little Loud brothers.

Leif, who operated the snowball-throwing cannon, calls for their victory, "Mission accomplished, we defeated our brothers!"

With that confirmation, the boys (with exception of Lincoln) shout, "Woohoo!"

"End of that story!" Lexx declares. "Glad I had this storybook with the interactive speaker to scare them off." He then proudly shows that book which has the option to sound off a wolf's scary howl. "We would easily scare those dimwits off."

Levi and Lars arrive in the scene. The former then confirms, "I had Loni and Luke in position. And I also hauled Lynn out of his frozen stupor."

"But where's Lincoln?" Lars asks.

Right on time, they hear Lincoln's groaning. They rush to his aid and see him trying for his head to gain composure from the snowball carnage.

"Gees, bro, sorry for that," Leif apologizes, "I didn't saw you getting hit."

"Yeah…fine…" Lincoln then spits out the temperamental slush from his mouth. "Just watch out next time."

"Now, let's conduct phase two of our plan," Levi suggests.

"Wait, what is phase two?" Lincoln asks.

The little brothers then sneer deviously.

"Oh, we planned this for a long, long time," Lexx states, then laugh evilly to justify how devious it will be.

Lincoln is nevertheless scared of him.

After an hour (or hours) of being knocked out, Loki gains consciousness but feels a restraint around him. "Whaa…what the…what happened?" As he gains poise, his sight becomes recognized, only to discover that his body is tied to a bobsled seat. And behind him is his brothers, who are tied up in the same manner. "Bros! Bros! Wake up! Literally wake up now!"

They then wake up from their fainting.

"Bro, I was just having a cool dream when I was jamming with Snow Patrol," Luke woozily utters.

"We're literally tied up to a sled! Now!"

When they hear that news, the boys sense their restraints and immediately freak out on that discovery. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELP US!" They try to release themselves from the ropes, to no avail.

Of course, this is the working of the little brothers in their scheme. They eventually reveal themselves to their big brothers.

"Looks like the big boys are trying to get out!" Lexx calls them out from his megaphone, "But there is snow way you can do that!"

"Hey, you steal my puns! Not cool!" Lane complains comically, "Get..?"

"We get the pun, Lane!" Lynn groans at him.

"I ain't cool with this!" Loni complains.

"Oh you know nothing, Lon Snow!" Leif shouts at him.

"Okay, I'm cool with that," Loni responds, and Lane and Lynn palm their faces.

But Lexx takes the megaphone from Leif to initiate their scheme. "Alright boys, this is for what you ingrates have done to our fort last year! You destroyed it. Now, we make you be part of destroying another fort, again."

The older brothers are perplexed on what Lexx is pertaining towards. But when they shift their heads to the front, they see themselves from a steep slope that goes down to a snowy ground where snowmen and various snow sculptures are placed. One particular feature is another snow fort that looks like from last year, only larger and more spacious.

"What…the…?" Loki is speechless in this feat.

"As you see, boys, you are about to experience another snow day. After wrecking our snow fort, you're going to wreck the rest of the snow figures we made!"

"Yeah, and how you dudes would propose to do that?" Luke asks.

Levi responds by pulling out a remote control and presses a button which powers the bobsled. The tied-up boys are shaken by this. "Presenting my high-powered bobsled that can go up to 80 miles per hour, which could cause unprecedented g-forces. And you, pleasant brethren, are the first people to test its power."

Learning about that fact, the brothers scream in terror like horror film girls, "AHHHHHHHHHH!" and try to break from their restraints.

Meanwhile, Levi hands the remote to Lexx to start the remote-controlled bobsled. "Let's test this baby!" In one push to the thumb levers, the bobsled slides down from the slope like a roller coaster sending the boys in a scream fest. He drives the sled against snow sculptures, hitting them repulsively.

The older boys, of course, face the endless hits to their faces with large amounts of snow, particularly to Loki who was strapped on the front seat of the bobsled.

"This ain't Cool Runnings!" Lane squirms as the sled heads to knocking down the life-sized fort. The snow completely buries the bobsled, but the high velocity allows to break out evenly, to the cost of shivering the brothers to the max.

But as the older Louds endure their fate, the younger Louds laugh deviously at this sight, with Lincoln feeling uncomfortable. "Uhmm guys, do we think we have gone too far?" the latter asks.

"Oh what's the matter?" Leif responds, "They let me wear a pink shirt once. And I got embarrassed. They deserved this." He then returns to laughing with the younger ones. Their laughter goes on, making their eyes shut and their bodies drop to the wooden platform they are standing on, trying to hold off the laughter.

Unknown to Leif, he inadvertently shifts the thumb controls to the left, making the bobsled increase its speed and swift back to the slope. This causes for it to accelerate and bring along the four (Lars, Lexx, Leif and Levi) as it flies to the sky like a rocket. Lincoln cannot believe his eyes with this feat.

The Loud brothers scream, "We brothers are blasting off again!"


	29. A Real Boys Holiday Part 4

Up in the sky, the Loud brothers fly high. On the expense of its velocity, the rocket shoots up to the frost sky. At the top of their lungs, they scream like never before.

A beep gets signaled from the bobsled. Levi opens its hatch where a light diode signals a bad news. "Boys, the rocket won't take us anywhere to safety. This highly flammable engine may result to a catastrophic ignition, caused by a depletion of fuel, a high concentration of carbon dioxide and overload in the propellant engine…"

"Cut to the chase, Levi!" Leif interrupts him, "And tell us what!"

"This bobsled is going to explode."

While Levi takes that prospect relaxingly, the rest scream. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"We're going to die!" they scream as if they are in a horror movie.

"Well, we can just let go," Levi suggests.

"You're right, dude," Luke goes along mindlessly.

"It's literally life or death, boys!" Loki proclaims. "Jump!"

At his signal, the Loud brothers let go from the sled and have themselves be dropped to hundreds of feet from the ground on frosty weather. Off they go, with their drop point being at the playground where the ice traps were set up.

"Hey guys, this almost feels like that skydiving simulator, remember?" Lynn recalls.

"Yeah, I remember. I thought it was a giant vacuum cleaner," Loni shares.

"Well, let's just enjoy this fall," Loki says, then whirls around like a skydiving daredevil. "I see no problem in this."

But immediately, one by one, the boys hit the ground and plie up each other. Loki lands face first to the snow-covered ground, followed by Lexx, then Luke, then Lars, then Lane, and Loni, and Leif, and Levi, and finally Lynn who takes the heaviest fall that buries the boys on the snow and hurts them in the head.

"That was…awesome!" Lynn enunciates. "Let's do that again!"

"Knock it off, dude," Luke utters. "You hit us on snow."

"Well, that went well…not literally," Loki gasps.

"Yeah, we all fall for that," Lane quips. "Aaahahaha! Get it?" But his older brother gets angry with that humorous take.

"At least nothing is worse than falling into snow," Lexx adds.

But the boys soon hear the fuel tank being run out from the bobsled. It spurts out the last gas in its tank before it stays on air for a brief second. And like a drop by a coin, the bobsled quickly falls to the ground.

"LOOK OUT!" Levi screams.

With that, the boys disperse away from the snow-covered ground, each trying to find a place to hide before the chemical-enhanced bobsled lands on a crunching thud and explodes on their very sight. The explosion is so devastating that it creates a mushroom cloud impact that blows the brothers away, literally and figuratively. Director Michael Bay would be so happy to see this explosion happen on deep snow and away from the suburbs.

But the boys are astounded and speechless with the blast, as they see the neighboring trees and nearby playground being burned to a crisp. Even the wooden slope, which was a To cap it off is the giant, deep crater.

Neither of the brothers has anything to say.

But Lincoln breaks the ice, "There goes the bobsled."

"Dad's bobsled," Lexx and Leif specify anxiously.

"Wait, that was dad's priced bobsled that he used to qualify for his Winter Olympics but didn't?" Loki asks them, to which they reply with a nervous nod.

That is enough for the boys to shut their mouths on what they have done.

Out of nowhere, Luke says, "First to the house gets blamed!"

"Not if I can't help it!" Lars replies, as the Loud boys race against each other back to the house. Luke ends up first and the rest of the boys, except for Lincoln, who tries to keep up at the shortness of his breath. Leif, the last one to get inside before Lincoln, locks the door, before the boys hurry to lock the place down on every door and every window.

Lincoln tries to get in on every knock. "Guys, you lock me out! Get me in! Get me in!" His demands are answered when a portal appears below him. He drops on its infinite space, then gets teleported to the inside of the Loud house where the boys prepare for possible doomsday, as seen from their doomsday prepper gear and getup. "Note to selves, bros, next time if you have to lock the place down, make sure I'm in!"

"Remorse from us bro," Lynn implies while he swings a club. "We're just trying to protect the family."

"And we're sorry for locking you outside," Lars adds. "Not our intention. Though I have to blame the spirits for misleading us."

"Yeah, we all screwed up out there," Loki admits but blames his smaller brothers, "But as for you pipsqueaks, you get no excuse!"

"Hey, you destroyed our forts every year!" Leif defends.

"Yeah, so better you blokes to be taught a lesson!" Lexx threatens them.

"Oh yeah!" Lynn growls.

But Lincoln intervenes, "Guys, cut it! We all have to blame. But can it be for once that there be a good snow day for all of us? Please?" With that simple pleas from their middle brother, the boys are quite moved.

However, the get interrupted by the sound of somebody knocking on the door. The boys quickly retreat to their barricade composed of furniture and household belongings, waiting for the knocker to stop. But the knocks keep going.

"What should we do?" Luke asks. "We're dead!"

"Shush!" Loki insists to him.

Then the knocker calls from the other side of the door, " _Hello? Is this the Loud residence? I was told to deliver a package of fresh cocoa mix. Anyone there?_ "

When they hear that remark, the brothers take a sigh of relief, knowing that it is just a deliveryman. Loki quickly opens the door, signs the form and takes the package. "Thanks for that, sir! You may leave! We have done nothing wrong, literally!"

The deliveryman is aghast at Loki's gesture. "Oh. Okay…"

The brothers then take a sigh of relief, thinking that they slipped away from their antics. Out of nowhere, they cheer each other.

"Yeah, we showed that mailman who's the boss!" Loni exclaims.

"Uhh…dude, that's a deliveryman," Luke corrects him.

"Ohh…"

"Well, we can all agree that nobody speaks of this, okay?" Loki suggests.

But Lincoln obviously has setbacks. "I don't know bro. It's kind of our fault."

"You mean you and the little bros," Lynn points out the blame on them.

"If it weren't for you destroying our fort every year!" Lexx counters.

"What are you trying to say, bro?" Lane asks.

"Well, if we can at least fix the damage a little. I mean we sure don't want the neighbors to notice why there is a large crater on the playground, right?"

"Guess you're right…" Leif replies.

"But how can we fix the damages?" Lars asks.

"Might I suggest operating my new universal remote which we can use to reverse the sequence of damages in the playground?" Levi suggests.

"Wait, you got a universal remote that can change time?!" Loki, astounded, asks. "Let's use that!"

"Only the disadvantage is alteration of our anatomy that leads to our DNA mutated," Levi adds.

"You mean we will have like three eyes?" Lynn asks.

"Maybe fifty or more," Levi theorizes, "And a round nose."

After their little genius of a brother gives out the drawbacks of his suggestion, the Loud siblings turn to Lincoln's suggestion.

"Alright Lincoln, what's your plan?" Loki turns to him.

"Well, we can pile up the crater with snow," Lincoln proposes. "And replace the swings with new ones. Right?"

"How can we replace the swings?" the big brother asks.

Just at that moment, they hear some neighboring children passing by, with one saying, "Snowball fight at the playground!" That instantly gives them worries.

"We need to move now!" Lincoln encourages them.

On his plan, Lexx and Leif distract the neighboring kids with a snowball fight, which the kids immediately bought on. This helps distract them as the rest of the Loud brothers sneak to the blown-up playground via loader.

When they arrive at the site, Levi digs up snow and loads them to the crater, with Lars and Loni assisting. Lynn and Lincoln set up the swings and other playground equipment. Loki, Luke and Lane place artificial trees alongside those that got blown up. All it was is doing their best to cover the tracks from the explosion through rapid succession of slapstick that involves Loni getting buried by snow twice, Lynn hitting (either accidentally or intentionally) Lincoln with metal bars and Loki falling down from the trees. Only by video montage that this sequence of events can be seen.

After such a quick cover-up, the brothers return to the house, but not before firing snowballs to the kids for the loader to remain unseen. Lexx and Leif retreat as well, also taking part on covering their tracks.

Once the boys dispose the loader in Levi's bunker, they clean up the damages from their yard, retreat back to the house and lock up every entrance till the air is clear.

Luke peeks from the keyhole for any sign of suspicion. "Nothing seemed clear, dudes."

A minute goes by, and Loki asks, "Well…"

"The kids are gone," Luke relays. "And it's…normal."

"That means we're good!" Lynn enunciates, prompting the brothers to celebrate.

"Well, how should we celebrate?" Lane asks.

Seeing the cocoa bag, Loki has a bright idea for celebration.


	30. A Real Boys Holiday Part 5

With that idea, the boys spend the rest of the day feasting themselves with overflowing cocoa. Levi supplies them with a giant cocoa-making machine, while Loki places the cocoa powder in it. The rest ready their mugs, their share of marshmallows and other snacks they wish to dip in their hot cocoa.

After a few minutes of brewing, Luke pulls out a hose and inserts it to the machine's faucet. "Let's do this, dudes!"

"Are you sure it's a good idea to pour out the hot cocoa using a hose?" Lexx asks.

"I sure know hose having that kind of problem? Hahaha. Get it?" Lane jokes.

"Huh…I thought we're gonna get a greener joke…" Lynn wonders.

"Me too," Lane answers. "But there's no grass around. So it ain't green now."

"Okay, quit the jokes for a sec," Luke insists. "Now, who's ready for cocoa river?"

The boys hoot in excitement.

At that encouragement, Luke switches the hose on, and a surge of cocoa are splashed to the Loud boys. And since it was hot cocoa that got splashed onto them, the boys screech in pain from being burnt by the cocoa. "HOT!"

"What do you guys literally expect?" Loki replies.

"Man, I was expecting more of a dream shower of chocolate," Luke adds. "It was cooler."

"But what is cool about 'chocolate rain'? Hahaha! Burn! Get it!" Lane hits the right punchline, but immediately resumes from screaming from being burnt.

Lincoln then suggests, while soaked in steaming cocoa, "Let's just do it the old-fashioned way."

The boys accept. Luke removes the hose, and immediately the boys line up to get their own serving of cocoa. Some of the Loud brothers huddle up in the couch and enjoy a roasting matinee of _Frozen_. It was the only movie in the family DVR, so they have no choice. Though it is far from a terrible movie, it is kind of shocking for Lincoln to see his brothers overreact in every bits of the movie.

When the bald-capped duke, voiced by the guy from _Firefly_ , shows up onscreen, the boys throw marshmallows at the monitor. When the Hans guy shows up, they do the same thing as before. And when the hit song number starts to roll, they all lose their minds. Lincoln is just enjoying the sight of his brothers go bonkers on such an empowering song.

"Boo! No!" they would scream aloud.

Lincoln can't stop chuckling, especially as the boys throw cocoa to the TV screen. His chuckling is too loud that the Loki pauses the movie and the brothers' attention redirects to Lincoln. The latter eventually notices the brothers' eventual silence, and he tries to stop his unstoppable laughter. It is such an awkward moment.

Three minutes of awkward silence later, Lincoln breaks the ice, "What?"

"Boo hiss!" Lexx mocks him by throwing a snowball to his face. It seems that the twin boys brought home snow in-between scenes.

"Okay, I…" Lincoln tries to enunciate, but another snowball hits his face. And another by Leif. But as Lexx throws another ball to him, Lincoln accidentally aims his cocoa mug and splashes the malty drink towards it, making it melt before them.

All of the brothers gasp in horror, while Lincoln beams guiltily for what he has done.

But instead of expecting of a corporal punishment, Leif screams this idea, "SNOWCOCOA FIGHT!"

With that playful battle cry, the boys take part on unleashing an assemblage of water guns and load them with hot cocoa. Lexx, Leif and Levi bring a blanket of snow inside the house and build snow fortresses and garrisons to turn the house into a snow-laden battlefield, just like the last time.

No alliances though are formed on this round. All of the boys' aim are on Lincoln, who equips himself with water guns like a winter-themed Rambo. As the snowballs get fired, the gleeful 11-year-old shoots at them solidly. He then fires at the snow fort that shields them, much to his over-the-top delight.

However, the aloof one, Loni, unknowingly throws a snowball at Lane. "Hahaha!"

"Hey, that's snow fair! Hahaha! Get it?" Lane quips. Then, a snowball effect (pun intended) starts from there. Lane accidentally hits Luke. Luke fires his gun to Lars and Loni. Lars throws a barrage of snowballs to the twins. The twins hit each other with snowballs. When Loki intervenes, they hit their brother with a snowball, which in turns makes him throw snowballs to the rest. And when Lynn gets hit with a harder one, his competitive instincts kick in.

"Okay, you asking for war?!" Boy Lynn threatens them in comic fashion, which still shakes the boys, "Alright then…" With that, he fires multiple snowballs at the same time.

Loki then encourages the rest, "He may literally take our lives, but he will never take our..." Just before he finishes his referential speech, the boys charge towards each other, ignoring Loki in the process. "Hey! You guys never noticed the power of speech! You guys!"

It is all-out war from there. Brother to brother, striking each other with snowballs and gradually lukewarm cocoa. And for Lincoln, in the middle of this brotherly play, he feels joyful to finally witness what his brothers do in every holiday season.

He speaks of this to the readers of this chapter, "Well, I think that settles on my visit back to the boys. It was fun playing with snow and all. Just don't let the cold brother you anyway." Suddenly, one snowball hits him at his nape, causing him to collapse and let go off his watch. To make matters more inconvenient, one more snowball hits the watch, which causes it to open up the portal back home to the ground. Not wanting for the boys to discover the secret again, Lincoln hurriedly picks up the watch and jumps to the portal. Free fall, he goes crossing dimensions and finally back to normalcy where he continues to fall down in the middle of winter. "AHHHHHHH!" he goes.

Lincoln eventually lands in a large blanket of snow, sliding him and nearly hitting past tall snow structures in full speed. His direction is concentrated to an igloo at the end. So, he tries to come to a screeching halt. And successfully, he does. But the tip of his nose touches one brick, causing the igloo to crash on its bricks.

"Well, there goes another crash," Lincoln utters, "But at least I landed safe. How bad can it be?"

"LINCOLN!" familiar voices rebuke him. Wouldn't you know it? The snow structures he knocked down makes his sisters get buried in snow. And the igloo that collapsed contained Lana, Lola and Lisa. Their disgruntled faces show their immediate impressions.

"Look guys, I can explain…" Lincoln hesitates.

"We've literally been building our snow sculptures in the middle of the cold!" Lori chastises him.

"Now, you'll pay!" Lola joins along.

"How should we make him pay?" Lana asks.

Lynn has a suggestion. "Wait, I have an idea on how we'll make this fun."

Lincoln gulps in fear as to what comeuppance will come up.

Minutes later, the Loud sisters tie Lincoln up to a bobsled and prepare to the slide him from a slope and hit a number of snow sculptures below, including ones that look like bowling pins. It was the same manner that his brethren counterparts did.

Lori encourages the rest, "Alright girls, let's prepare to slide Lincoln down. Ready?"

The girls count in unison, "1…2…3…"

But for Lincoln, at a gulp, he has this only to say, "Déjà vu?"


End file.
